- [Frank is trying to teach Michael to talk like a mobster]
- Frank Vitale: Here, try this, "Hey, fuggeddabout it!"
- Michael Felgate: Hey, forget about it!
- Frank Vitale: No, like this, "Hey, fuggeddabout it!" Change you T's to D's.
- Michael Felgate: Hey, fuggeddaboud id!
- Frank Vitale: Id?
- Michael Felgate: You said change Ts to Ds!
- Frank Vitale: Not the last one! OK, forget that one, try this one, "Get the hell outta here." No Rs.
- Michael Felgate: Get the hail outta hee.
- Frank Vitale: Not hee! Heah!
- Michael Felgate: Hee!
- Frank Vitale: Here.
- [Hands Michael a pistol]
- Frank Vitale: Stick it in your pants, maybe you'll look the part.
- Michael Felgate: [after learning Frank is a mobster] Note to self... rent Goodfellas, Casino, Godfather 1, 2, 3.
- Michael Felgate: Well at least tell me what his restaurant is called, then I can sneak in, in a beard or something.
- Gina Vitale: It's called The La Trattoria.
- Michael Felgate: You mean La Trattoria.
- Gina Vitale: No.
- Michael Felgate: The La Trattoria means The The Trattoria.
- Gina Vitale: I know.
- Michael Felgate: Interesting. Look I have to go to the La Bathroom, and I'll be back in a sec.
- Michael Felgate: [after Gina becomes desperate] Well, no. I'm sorry but I've waited all my life to find someone I love as much as I love you. And I'm just not going to let this or anyone come between us. Not Vito "The Butcher" or Vinnie "The Baker" or anyone involved in any kind of food preparation. That's it, end of story.
- Waitress: And how would you like that cooked?
- Michael Felgate: Ree.
- Waitress: Excuse me?
- Michael Felgate: Rah.
- Waitress: Raw?
- Michael Felgate: Rahr.
- Waitress: Rare? And to drink?
- Michael Felgate: Bee.
- Waitress: Beer?
- Michael Felgate: Yah.
- Waitress: You talk funny.
- Frank Vitale: [referring to the dead body] We're gonna need a bag.
- Michael Felgate: Right.
- Frank Vitale: [returns with a sandwich bag] What the hell am I suppose to do with that?
- Michael Felgate: I thought maybe the gun?
- Al: So, ah, who's your friend?
- Frank Vitale: That's Big Mickey from Kansas City. A friend of ours.
- Sante: I thought Big Mickey was dead.
- Frank Vitale: The father. This is Little Big Mickey.
- Al: Wasn't there a Little Big Mickey out of Chicago?
- Frank Vitale: Yeah, yeah, that's the original Little Big Mickey. This is Little Big Mickey Blue Eyes.
- [Gina is trying to explain to Michael why she can't marry him]
- Gina Vitale: I can't talk about this in the house.
- Gina Vitale: [Gina begins throwing on clothes over her pajamas]
- Michael Felgate: Where are we going?
- Gina Vitale: Out.
- Michael Felgate: Right. Nowhere too dressy, I hope
- Gina Vitale: Just stop. Otherwise, I can't go on. Just run normally.
- Michael Felgate: I am running normally.
- Gina Vitale: Oh. Right. I'm sorry. I thought, you know... I guess I haven't seen you run before and I thought you were doing a funny run.
- Michael Felgate: A funny run? That's my run.
- Michael Felgate: Listen, did Gina just come back?
- Gina's doorman: She came back, all right, crying her eyes out. She packed a bag, ran straight back out again. What the hell you been doing to her?
- Michael Felgate: I asked her to marry me.
- Michael Felgate: [Frank's about to 'shoot' Michael] This is probably a stupid question, but is this going to hurt?
- Frank Vitale: No. You won't feel a thing.
- [FBI device with fake blood detonates]
- Michael Felgate: That actually hurt quite a lot. Is it suppose to hurt that much?
- Michael Felgate: [meeting Gina's father, after looking in a walk-in freezer] There's a man in your freezer.
- Frank Vitale: Yeah, I know. He's suppose to be there.