De frente al vacío

Disturbing, powerful look at a few days in the life of a gay Greek-Australian man named Ari. He's very handsome, muscular, young (21), lives unhappily at home with his parents, is closeted, addicted to drugs and prefers anonymous, degrading sex. He can't find a job or any escape. Then he meets hunky, attractive Shawn who loves him. Will this change his life? The answer may surprise you.

This is NOT a feel-good gay film. It's bleak and depressing but just great. Alex Dimitriades is very good in a difficult role--the sex scenes are degrading and brutal and there's a humiliating interrogation scene by the police. Dimitriades deserves credit for appearing nude (a great body, by the way) and showing frankly how much Ari hates himself and feels he deserves all the pain he's taking. Obviously this is not for everyone but I find it an incredible portrait of a thoroughly destroyed man.

I've just come back from the cinema, and having read the book ('Loaded' by Christos Tsiolkas) and being British/Greek and gay I thought it was excellent. It is a rarity for a start: a very good adaptation of a book, with amazing performances from an all-Greek Australian cast, including the gorgeous Alex Dimitriades himself who, incidentally is straight. I was particularly impressed about the cinematography (I looked it up later - by Jaems Grant and no, it's not a spelling mistake), all moody and dark like the plot.

The whole point about the film is encapsulated in the scene where Ari is having oral sex with Sean. He was selfishly roughing up and gagging Sean who had just said that he loved him. It was the ultimate brutalisation of sex by a brutalised closeted youngster in a hopeless, brutalising society. At that moment we wince, as Ari consciously rejects love for the anonymity of the street corner suck-off, but we *do* understand why he is unable to form a relationship: in his own way, he acts according to type, obeying his family's and society's homophobic and racist insults and conventions. Symbolically he looks up from his knees in the end, just as his TV friend Toula pushed him a few scenes before dismissively. The moral of the film as she says is that if you don't stand up for yourself you spend your life on your knees.

That moral may perhaps be irrelevant or far gone for gays who have come out and have asserted themselves in society by rejecting the hypocrisy of a double life full of compromises, but it is nevertheless still relevant for a large number of people in many different cultures.

...but useful for understand the perception about reality of a young man who use his sexual orientation, the nihilism and the friends as instruments to explore it. a film about frustration. and about freedom. and one of the most impressive roles of Alex Dimitriadis who mix the bitter humor, fury and fear to create a character who gives new perspectives about every day challenges. one of films who use a sensitive subject as way to wake up. and the gray tone becomes a tool for describe long slices of disillusion, fights and need of sense of life. maybe not great. but sensitive trip in heart of forbidden subjects. more actual today than in 1998.

Head On is an amazing film. Its beauty and treasures lie in not judging the journey taken in the film but opening up to the experiences of a young man lost and hidden. Its not a bright, gay film but rather a fiery drama which doesn't offer answers but depicts a painful truth which many would prefer to disregard. This is a film about the loss of hope in the jaded nineties.

It is very much a local film (shot in Melbourne) and an Australian film, but I think it offers up wider and more general issues.

Few films capture the mood of the 1990s quite like Head On. It is a film embedded with characterisitics which intuitively identify the strangely blank decade that edged up to the 21st century. If the eighties was - though simplistically - regarded as the decade of high paced materialism. The 90s can be seen as a time of conservatism and cautiousness - again too simplistically - which could be regarded as the tired decade. A time imbued with a feeling that everything had already been done. Grunge embodied this, as did the increasing popularity of pastiche and remakes such as the way television shows were more and more the source for films. It was a time where even moreso than in previous decades - the answers and ideas were sort in ready-made forms. Reused, resurrected and exploited. Sarcasm and cynicism became law. Pettiness became more and more common. Many of us were just tired out.

Ari, the central character in Head On played with brilliant vibrant vividness by Alex Dimitriades, is the embodiment of this tired feeling. He reacts to the world by going to extremes in an attempt to register some feeling, a momentary intensity. Since there is nothing new to be found, he embraces fleeting bursts of passion and uses anything that helps him escape the exhausted sensation whether through drugs or sex, people or music. Anything that he can do to keep himself isolated and inside his own individual mind, he races toward. Head On. He's gay but not proud. He's Greek-Australian but not interested. He's young but may as well be old. History is an excuse to crap on and foster negativity. Ari can't contemplate love because he's lost between the cracks of a society he doesn't care for and doesn't want to contribute to maintaining. He doesn't trust but he yearns, somewhere deeply, for some sense of security or truth. The film follows his search for reason in the chaos of his life in a world of silences and charades. But for Ari, there can be no reason. He feels doomed. Sensation is his only food, the only way to quench an indiscriminate, blind thirst.

Dimitriades puts his body and soul into the role of Ari. Its the performance of commitment and intense passion for the role. He doesn't flinch at the frontal nudity or gay sex scenes as other actors might have and hence brings to the role an authenticity which is the spine of the film. But the supporting cast are equally well cast and powerful. Paul Capsis radiates every scene as Toula/Johnny, Ari's gender-bending cousin. Julian Garner is perfectly contrast as the one person who loves Ari enough to try and show him hope rather than dismissal. In fact, the script ensures even the smallest roles are provided with weight through the powerful and serious screenplay. The book from which this film was born - Loaded by Christos Tsiolka- is an excellent expansion of the films vision.

The soundtrack is split between roaring alt-rock and techno-pop with some interesting surprises. The whole film comes together with a precision and ease which never feels unnatural or artificial. This is a raw but tight film. It deals with issues intelligently and strongly without judgement or fear. The loss of hope shown here is left to be dealt with in our own lives, and with the people we meet. I think the film provides a welcome opportunity to reflect on the destructiveness of notions like identity and truth in a world which increasingly blurs examples that aren't suitable or fashionable.

The kettle is on the boil and 19 year old Ari is about to burst with a combination of his culture, sexuality and drug intake, colliding to create a mixed up youth with a cause. His parents migrated to Melbourne, Australia, from Greece and with them they brought their strong culture that they hang onto while back in Greece the culture changes with the times. This we don't see but it is the fact of life for every second generation immigrant who has to fight the ignorance and hypocrisy of their parents and social surroundings. This creates a monster Ari carries on his back, a destructive energy within him that is wasted in back street alleys, public toilets and where ever he can get it. And when people don't come to his side of life, he manipulates them with sexual advances, testing their moral grounds. Through his love of Greek dancing, Ari yearns to keep part of his ancestral culture intact for identity purposes, but with his own freedom of passion. Can the two mix? That's what he's journey is. A journey for self expression without any rules of repression. This is Alex Dimitriades' cake as he eats Ari up and plays the character with conviction. Director Ana gets right into the heart and soul of Ari, via the camera with a confronting script dealing with issues aimed at any migrating culture.