Cybernator

Right from the opening credits, one knows that CYBERNATOR simply must be seen!

Once again, those dastardly cyborgs are up to no good. Picture a bald guy with aquarium airline tubing coming out of his head! Genius! Or, low-rent Borg mixed with pitifully-realized HELLRAISER demons! Astonishing! These synthetic humanoids kill a politician and laugh robotically.

Next, we're off to a night spot / strip club, where we're introduced to LA police officer, Brent McCord (Lonnie Schuyler), who's in love with a stripper named Blue (Christina Peralta).

Oh no!

Eeevil cyborgs have arrived! Either that, or Mr. And Mrs. Terminator are in town. This occurs just as McCord proves his love for Blue by giving her a dollar bill with his teeth! Blue's working her way through school, don'tcha know. Poorly choreographed mayhem erupts, and another politician bites the dust. The dullness of the ensuing shootout is difficult to describe. Of course, this all has to do with a vast, government conspiracy, which is also dull.

Everything blunders along. Alleged "actors" move around and spout "dialogue" that makes us wonder if they're all artificial lifeforms! With no real rhyme or reason to any of it, this movie only exists to cause great pain.

EXTRA POINTS FOR: #1- The botched, horribly shot, eternal love scene that will cause you to laugh until your guts burn! #2- The "big twist" that actually makes things less suspenseful! #3- The belly dancer scene! Oh! Those finger cymbals! #4- The hysterically tedious, karate-filled non-finale that will put you straight into REM sleep!...

Somebody else said it, and I'll agree: Robert Rundle is the new Ed Wood. I seriously want to know how this movie got made. It's absolutely terrible, and I mean that in every possible way. The acting, writing, production, sets... it's all so cheap and half-assed and absolutely wonderful to watch. If you're looking for a movie to put on after the party dies down a bit and there's just a handful of people left, all wasted and continuing to get wasted, this is the one. It's probably less fun to watch by yourself than with a room full of people, but regardless, this movie is an absolute joy to watch. That is, if you like bad movies. And I do.

Cybernator is a terrible terrible movie. If you can laugh at B movie incompetence, then this will be right up your alley!

The movie is packed with goofs a-plenty: the weird background noises when the actors are talking; the moment in the showdown when the villain pauses, checks his mic, then carries on with the scene; the hilariously dorky cyborgs (one of whom has a high-tech cyber-chin); the cartoonish rubber-faced acting from our "hunky" male lead; the list goes on. The film's main cyborg, Captain Hair, has a laughable, scream-filled death scene reminiscent of Bela Lugosi getting killed by a fake, immobile octopus in Bride Of The Monster.

Thanks to the hammy actors and schlocky visuals, this film doesn't get boring. Despite having some obvious padding scenes, it stays entertaining throughout, which is a feat for a B-movie. The final showdown has a lot of talking, but William Smith as the smug villain is so entertaining, and both characters are so totally bumbling that even this scene is a hoot. (At one point, the villain is strangling the life out of the hero... then just quits and starts to wander away while still talking to him, as if he just got bored with the strangling and forgot to keep it up.)

Fans of Invader Zim might recognize Captain Hair from his little cameo in that cartoon. ("What I'm trying to say, sirrrrr...") If the creators of Zim enjoyed this movie, that's quite an endorsement if you ask me!

This movie is quite possibly the signle worst movie ever created. Not only does it look like it was filmed using camcorder for a high school production class, but the acting is below that of most invertebrates.

How MST3K missed this one I'll never know.

Low-budget Sci-Fi/Action-Trash, Troma does it again!

C-Y-B-E-R-N-A-T-O-R is that a cringey enough title for you LOL! Yep, the very title of this movie just reeks of low-budget cyborg versus cyborg action and, not surprisingly, that's exactly what we get. And guess what? It's bad, but good for laughs though.

Starting with James Cameron's classic genre-defining film: The Terminator (released to great acclaim in October of 1984) there was an explosion of "cyborg" themed action films (most of which suck, including the last several Terminator films) in the later half of the 80's and well into the 90's. These movies are typically low-budget and were indifferently churned out in great numbers by mostly B-List talent (cast and crew alike) who were, shall we say, not burdened by fame (or even marginal recognition) and expectations. Fortunately the bulk of these movies were direct-to-video, so they never soiled the big screen to any great extent. Anyways back to Cybernator, sad to say this stodgy amateurish effort represents the genre to a T and is a profoundly underwhelming movie by all measures; starting with it's lame opening credits sequence and ending with a VERY VERY lackluster finale, this movie offers it's viewers little in the way of entertainment. On the plus-side, I did thoroughly enjoy the high-energy scene with the sleazy adulterous couple in the beginning, they're over-the-top acting is a real hoot and it's easily the movies most energetic scene.

As for an overview of CYBERNATOR (again, that title LOL!!!) the cast is bad - as is their acting, the script is often questionable (but hey, who wouldn't want to be a "Blackhawk 2000" cyborg, right?) the sets are very cheap, the location photography is boring and mundane, the movie is often poorly paced and it's action scenes are less than stellar - to downright unconvincing (Having just taken multiple rounds in the gut! Just lay down and play dead, very convincing). This film would have been better had they cast David Carradine in the lead, he was made for low-budget action-trash like this and his filmography is proof of that. You will be amusingly underwhelmed at how lame most of the cyborgs look, due to their terrible looking make-up and prosthetics and how about the "dumpy cyborg" about 70 minutes in. ROFL! With all joking aside there's not one single impressive action sequence or even any good stunts to be seen anywhere and with that being said one can easily -and quite logically- conclude that Cybernator is, by all possible metrics, a total failure of an action film. Terminator 2 this is not. Hell, this well below Cyborg Cop 2 for that matter OR EVEN Robo Vampire.....

Closing Note: "Cybernator" is simply as amateurish as they come and you can safely skip it and not miss out on anything - at all. However, if you have a fetish for terrible movies, like I do, then by all means watch Cybernator TODAY! But please don't spend and therefore waste any money on it, because it's not worth a dime or a damn.

To anyone: In the scene with the 350 pound belly-dancer (I know - WTF?), is that James Cameron in a cameo or do my senses betray me? It looks like him. It sounds like him. Hmmmm.....