L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach

And I do believe that this 1998 movie "Return to Savage Beach" (aka "L. E. T. H. A. L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach") do round up my venture into the Sidaris movies. Most of which movies I have only seen for the first time here in 2022, believe it or not.

The 1998 action movie "Return to Savage Beach" has writer and director Andy Sidaris at the wheel, which is fortunate for the movie and the franchise at large, since his son Christian Drew Sidaris just didn't have the required skills to make movies worthy of his father's legacy. Sure, a movie like "Return to Savage Beach" is hardly a cinematic gem, but it does make for some cheesy watchable action.

If you have seen any of the numerous L. E. T. H. A. L. movies, then you know what you are in for with the 1998 movie "Return to Savage Beach" as well. Yeah, why fix or tinker with a formula that apparently worked out well enough? For better or worse, then "Return to Savage Beach" delivers what you would expect.

Sure, it is nice to see returning cast members such as Julie Strain, Rodrigo Obregó and Gerald Okamura.

Watchable for what it is, "Return to Savage Beach" is sure to please fans of the L. E. T. H. A. L. franchise.

My rating of "Return to Savage Beach" lands on a five out of ten stars.

Would be 10 stars for me, Female badass agents done! However something that always confused me since watching all the films as a teen, why the hell would you put a bunch of female spy, agents, assassins in a film and not have any CATFIGHTS, GIRL FIGHTS! NONE, ZERO GIRL FIGHTS! Especially when Andy KNEW catfights were popular and always have been. This was a HUGE miss opportunity that would have taken these films to another level, wish the team that made the movie RAZE would take a crack at remakes of the LEATHAL series and do it right! Super disappointing....

I hadn't seen an Andy Sidaris film in years (not with the sound turned up, anyway) and I had no reason to believe this one would be any different from his others. Those always had the same elements. First it would have a totally uninvolving action story full of explosions and martial arts. Second, it would have a script that was stilted and pedestrian. Third, it would feature almost uniformly wooden acting. I'm talkin' sequoia here. Last, it would be full of bodacious babes who were always clad in one of two ways: scantily or un-. Only one of these elements interested me (take a guess) and the others made his movies all but unwatchable.

Well maybe I'm getting mellow in my old age or possibly Sidaris learned something from his other films because I could actually enjoy this one as simple dumb fun. The main factor here is a switch in emphasis to flesh over fireworks and fighting. The story is still the same non-entity, the acting is as bad as ever (does Sidaris want it that way?) but the women are a softcore voyeur's delight, though if you prefer nature's bounty over the wonders of cosmetic surgery, you may not appreciate them. The way is led in this film by the udderly amazing duo of Julie K. Smith and Shae Marks, with Julie Strain also on hand and Playboy alumnus Carrie Wescott as the nominal villainess. Marks was also a Playboy centerfold model and one would have thought she wouldn't have needed to augment her considerable natural charms, but I guess that was a career decision.

This movie is not headed for the National Film Registry but I was able to enjoy it on some level and considering Sidaris' previous output, that surprised me.

An Andy Sidaris classic, folks. For those of you who have never seen any of this guy's movies, check this one out.....it'll tell you all you need to know. "Hard Hunted", "Hard Ticket To Hawaii", "Day of the Warrior", etc., and this movie are all about the same. Beautiful, busty secret agent women and burly dudes blowing up stuff and having sex in Hawaii.

This one involves the recovery of a box of goodies that was buried on an island somewhere in the South Pacific by the Philippine government. "Tiger" and "Cobra" are the secret agents to look out for. Look at their chests and you'll know why. As a long-time wrestling fan, I was suprised to see Marcus "Buff" Bagwell have a prominent role in this one. He even got down and dirty with Julie Strain....lucky guy! Oh yeah, did I mention she's in this, too? She's in a lot of these, but she's in this flick as the leader of the L.E.T.H.A.L. Force (Legion to Enforce Total Harmony And Law). Ava, the big-chested "sextrologist" is back, sending secret messages to operatives over the airwaves.

One agent (the one who dresses in the red leather outfit and hands out the poison pizza) appears later on in the movie during the resolution scenes with what sounds like a poorly-done Russian accent. Don't forget the villain, dressed in an outfit straight out of "Phantom of the Opera".

I'd recommend this movie to anyone who's a fan of the B-movie/soft-core genre....sure, it's not "A" quality, but there's lots of skin and explosions to make up for that!

With the tagline „The big guns are back", director Andy Sidaris returned to Savage Beach, almost a decade after the original „Savage Beach" movie. The title song is played while we watch the ladies swimming - pretty well aiming at the style of a Bond title sequence. Shae Marks looks like Lara Croft in her early (oversized) days when she enters Savage Beach in a tank top. Such elements of pop culture are nicely used again for an action flick that seems a bit confused in its first half, and sometimes uses annoying flashbacks, but later the loose ends are tied successfully, while another song named „Which ending does this story have?" ironically explains that confusing the audience needs to be a part of the show. Marcus Bagwell, the Warrior from „Day of the Warrior", helps the good guys this time, and Julie K. Smith gets the funniest scene when she can demonstrate her idea of punishing „bad boys". This is the last one out of 12 Andy Sidaris movies I reviewed, certainly not the best among them because it's a bit of a patchwork and lacks new ideas (well, there was a submarine at least), but I have to congratulate the ensemble since they never put out a real bore in all these years - and that, by the way, was the strong point: ensemble. With the exception of "Malibu Express", there was never only one star, it's always about team-play.