Clubland

This movie will hopefully die a quick death at the box office, or better yet, go straight to video. When I saw it at a test screening, myself and the audience couldn't help but laugh. But believe me this was no comedy! The acting is sub-standard, with Lori Petty's being the most sub-standard. However, Terrence Trent D'arby should recieve an honorary worst "non-actor" acknowledgement, as his performance is the most pathetic. The music is god awful, and belongs in the used soundtrack bin. My one question is why does "Hit Maker" Glen Ballard deserve to have a movie made? Can't be because of high quality. . . If it has anything to do with his contribution to Alanis Morissette's "Jagged Little Pill", somebody needs to think again!

"Clubland" So Glen Ballard, super-producer of Alanis Morissette and Aerosmith, wrote a script about an aspiring singer in L.A. (sigh!) He would be the one to tell the story the most honest and direct way, right? While I haven't seen "Eyes Wide Shut" and "Dudley Do-Right" yet, I can safely say that "Clubland" will nail the top spot on my annual top ten worst of the year. It's an atrocious piece of filmmaking that was just barely released this past weekend. Director Mary Lambert drops every conceivable ball there is to drop here. She shoots the whole film in handheld (due to the lunchmoney budget) and with constant music going on in the background (Gotta sell soundtracks, people!). These two elements combined make for a headache inducing ride down the predictable "It's all about the music, man!" yellow brick road. And to heap on more pain, it's music so pretentious it would make current wuss-rock kings Matchbox 20 and Goo Goo Dolls wince. Add to this mess the most amateurish acting you will ever see in a theatrical release. Lead Jimmy Tuckett joins last year's inductee Alicia Witt ("Urban Legend") to the "I can't believe this performance was committed to film" hall of fame. He, seriously, is without talent. And that is saying something when the whole cast is awful. Lori Petty is in this, need I say more? The music that fills the film wouldn't sell two copies, and we as an audience are supposed to swoon over the songs. Nope. The whole film is filled with clichéd nonsense: slick drug dealers, a gunfight, the girl the lead "really" loves (and we are expected to swallow this tripe right after the hero of the film receives oral from a groupie?), and the brother who keeps messing up - but he's got good intentions. There's more, but who cares? Glenn Ballard was given the chance to make his movie, and it all sucks. "Clubland" is a work of pure drivel, the worst kind of film that comes out of Hollywood. Bad acting, bad directing, bad music, bad product placement, bad cinematography, (I'm sure) bad catering.... If so much work could go into stories more that .005% of humans care about (You never hear in a movie line "Oh, man! Aspiring musicians in Los Angeles! We gots to see dat!"), wouldn't that be a better use of a budget? I think so. -------------- 0

I also saw a screening, and here is my opinion: Plan Nine from Outer Space is a bad movie, but at least it will forever be remembered as a cult classic because it was somewhat interesting and amusing. But this drool ranks right up there with Ishtar as a perfectly forgetful piece of terrible movie making. In fact, it's even worse. It has absolutely no redeeming qualities other than being a cure for insomnia, or better yet, perhaps a lesson in how NOT to make films. Ballard (this is the Alanis guy, right?) should stick with what he knows, but it may be too late... Hollywood is too small to escape this one.

Director Mary Lambert rules! The people who thought this movie was bad must have really missed the point. I suggest seeing it again with a more open mind. You won't regret it if you view it as a comedy. Where else do you get to see Terrance, Lori, and Alanis all in one strange place?

Written by songwriter Glen Ballard (Michael Jackson - "Man in the Mirror", Alanis Morisette - "You Oughta Know", dozens of other hits ) and featuring bit parts by Terrence Trent D'Arby & Steven Tyler of Aerosmith, CLUBLAND immediately carries an air of authenticity as only a rock'n'roll film made by musicians can do.

Throw into the mix the incomparable Lori Petty (remember Tank Girl??) and newcomer Jimmy Tuckett who looks like a young Michael Hutchence from INXS and sings like a soulful Kurt Cobain, and you've got even more worth seeing.

The story is gritty yet polished, violent yet moral, disturbing yet inspiring. In short, this film is as diverse as the musical styles on the soundtrack (grunge, punk, thrash, trance, rock, acoustic), so you need to take everything as it comes in order to enjoy it. If you're a musician, music lover or groupie I'm guessing you have a broad taste in music, and the songs in this movie are undoubtedly good. As an added bonus, the actors look like they know how to play (if you're like me, you probably hate it when the actors can't even hold a guitar, let alone make a convincing performance).

The vibe is pretty intense, focusing on the moral dilemmas of being a successful musician, hitting on themes of sex, drugs, rock'n'roll, betrayal, selling out, and of course the #1 theme of being a musician: being dirt poor (which, oddly, most r'n'r movies miss). It doesn't have much comedy unless you count the outrageously awesome performance of Lori Petty as the coked out, spaced out, angsty punk chick. Or Steven Tyler with his 1 line "Got a problem here." LOL

If you're on the lookout for entertaining rock movies, don't miss CLUBLAND. Other undiscovered gems worth seeing are: GARAGE DAYS (a stylish, surreal rock comedy from the director of THE CROW), the excellent film SYMPATHY FOR DELICIOUS (about a paralyzed rockstar, written by and starring a man who is a paraplegic in real life), and for comedy don't miss MUSIC & LYRICS (for the 80s pop crowd) and THE ROCKER (for the 80s metal crowd. And it should go without saying, the greatest rock films ever are SPINAL TAP and EDDIE & THE CRUISERS. Rock on \m/