La galería del terror

The friends of a high school girl (Leilani Sarelle) are ruthlessly slain by monstrous freaks living under the Golden Gate Bridge, but the police don't believe her outlandish story. Thankfully, her potential beau believes her (Clyde Hayes), as does an adolescent girl (Donna Locke), and they team-up to find the truth.

"Neon Maniacs" (1986), aka "Evil Dead Warriors," is similar to the contemporaneous "Trick or Treat" except that, unlike Sammi Curr in that movie, the titular antagonists are too cartoonish to be scary in any way, despite their gory slayings. The tone mixes brutal killings with a fun 'kid flick' spirit and it's bewildering.

The monsters curiously consist of a samurai, a caveman, a doctor, an Indian, a straight-jacket lunatic and so forth, but what they really are, their motivations and where they originated is never explained. While not noted in the movie, they're rumored to be from another dimension, "the worst killers from across time" mumbo jumbo.

Production and budget problems caused expository scenes to either be cut or never shot. Another casualty was the intended final battle between the protagonists and the maniacs, which explains the puzzling abrupt and inconclusive ending. As such, this is basically an unfinished film, but you won't really realize it until the last act.

Still, there's plenty to appreciate for people interested in 80's oddities: The likable protagonists have chemistry, Leilani Sarelle is winsome, and the "Battle of the 80's Bands" is cheesy fun (one a lame Rick Springfield knockoff and the other a kick-axx hair metal group).

The film runs 1 hour, 31 minutes, and was shot in San Francisco, Los Angeles and Glendale, California.

GRADE: C.

Do you ever hanker after a piece of disposable 80's horror? I know I do and Neon Maniacs was perfect for that. The story is that a girl sees all her friends brutally murdered by the neon maniacs and the maniacs start appearing trying to kill her. She doesn't let it interfere with getting a tan or going to the battle of the bands though.

It's hard to know what the maniacs themselves are supposed to be but possibly think Hellraiser's Cenobites but without the effects and instead with a bit of carpet stuck to their heads.

There's an 80's battle of the bands (both bands are naturally abysmal), an attractive female lead and some mild monster mayhem. What more could you ask for from an 80's horror flick? An actual ending would be nice I suppose but you can't have it all.

Definitely worth a watch though if you're in the right mood.

Beware! The gates of Heck have been thrown open, unleashing the NEON MANIACS!

Virtually immortal and unstoppable, these freakish creatures are immune to anything that might be used against them. Except for one rare and mysterious chemical known as...

H-2-O!

If only there was some of this stuff around they could be thwarted, but nay! If only someone had a squirt gun, or a bucket, or a damp sponge!

Instead, these maniacs shall conquer the globe!

Thankfully, three teens are on the case, including a horror-obsessed girl who tracks the monsters to their lair. Under a bridge. Feet away from a bay. Full of H-2-O!

If you've been pining away for the 1980's, here they are in all their glory! The clothes! The hair! The overly-sterile production values! All here!

WARNING: Nothing can possibly prepare you for the brain-evaporating "Battle of the Bands" sequence! Nothing! It's so wretchedly inept as to cause boils and cranial bruising in the viewer!

On a positive note, the maniac masks are pretty cool. If only this movie had given them a good reason to wear them...

after months of trying,i finally got me a copy of the hard to find horror movie"Neon Maniacs"the movie is really cool and it shows.the special effects are also a treat.i like how the maniacs had different weapons and looked different.except for"the thing"i hated that neon maniac.archer(has a crossbow) was one of my favorite.there was some gore mostly graphic violence(heads are sliced off,arms are sliced,arrows in backs etc.)enjoy if you like monsters with different weapons.

See, there are these twelve Neon Maniacs who live under the Golden Gate bridge and come out at night to kill people. No reason really, they just do. Natalie (Leilani Sarelle) sees all of her partying friends offed by this gnarly group but no one will believe her because the only thing left at the scene of the crime is some neon goo. Insert Steven (Alan Hayes), a fellow high school student who has the hots for Natalie, and Paula (Donna Locke), a young horror obsessed tomboy, to form a trio of folks who the cops won't listen to.

This NEON MANIACS madness is really something and plays with the same logic of the home movies I made when I was a 12-year-old. Sad when you realize director Joseph Mangine was in his 50s when he made this. We never get any history on the titular creatures or learn why they are so intent on tracking our leads. But we do know they melt when water gets on them (you listening M. Night?). I guess you could get away with stuff like this in the 80s if you throw some slime around, which this film does plenty of. Probably the only film in the history of cinema to have the heroes discussing ways to off the monsters and one says, "Hey, isn't the battle of the bands tonight? We can do it there!" Insert two dueling bands (new wave vs. heavy metal) duking it out while the Maniacs converge on the school. The film ends with the hope of a NEON MANIACS II and I'm still, like, totally waiting.