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After being dumped by their girlfriends, T.S. Quint(Jeremy London) and Brodie Bruce (Jason Lee) go to the mall to keep their minds off the situation. Soon, however, thoughts turn to getting their ladies back and the dynamic duo will have to fight mall security, a fashionable male (Ben Affleck) and a game show producer (Michael Rooker) in order to succeed.

Writing a fair review of "Mallrats" is one of the hardest things for me to do, and it is no surprise that I have not done so in all the years I have been writing reviews. The film came out when I was fourteen, and I went to see it with my cousin at the local mall after a rousing bus trip. We had seen the ambiguous advertisements in the back of comic books for months and just knew this was something we had to see. Once in the theater, we were practically alone -- there were only three other people, including a younger woman and her grandmother, both of whom walked out early on.

For whatever reason, I identified with this film. I had not yet seen "Clerks" and I did not have the background in film to really understand all the references to "Jaws" or "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" or "Apocalypse Now". But the potty humor mixed with the intelligent dialogue (even about scatological topics) hit home with me, and even now -- seventeen years later -- it remains my favorite film, despite my knowing full well it is not critically wonderful and often sexually crude.

I have given the film a high rating because I simply cannot get enough of it. I have the trading cards that were sold at the time, I have visited the Eden Prairie Center where the movie was filmed (it is in Minnesota, not New jersey, strangely enough). But, I want to stress this: my high rating does not by any means indicate this is a critically beautiful film. Read the reviews of the professionals at the time (Ebert, Maltin, and others) and you will see that it was more or less expected to bomb (although I think in hindsight many more people found the film to their liking).

Are there flaws? You bet. Watch Jeremy London, for example. A horrible, horrible actor. Even with these odd, scripted conversations he comes off as forced, and if you watch him while another actor is speaking, you can see him physically preparing himself to speak his lines. He cannot become the character of T.S. Quint, he can only be Jeremy London. Shannon Doherty, likewise, just does not seem to hack it... she is a better actress than many, but this film just did not work for her. She comes off as a reject from "Empire Records", and some lines she delivers make it seem she is not familiar with the subject matter.

Despite the flaws, I am still praising this film. Watch "Clerks" first (even though this one takes place first in chronological order). If you like "Clerks", try this one. Then try "Chasing Amy". All three are great. Personally, I think Kevin Smith's films went downhill after that (although "Red State" is redeeming). He may disagree and I know many of the fans do. But if you do not mind intelligent potty humor, "Mallrats" is for you.

This is Kevin Smith's first `real' movie, i.e., one made with a real budget, real actors, and backed by a real studio. It was also a commercial and critical flop, most reviewers seem to regard it as his worst movie. That is understandable, seeing as he set such high expectations with `Clerks', a work of pure genius that was made on a budget so low that Smith was forced to use black & white film. `Clerks' is one of my all time favorite films, a classic that will probably still be popular many years from now, and so, by comparison, `Mallrats' simply doesn't measure up. But so what? It's still a great comedy, with lots of moments that make you want to split a gut, and is, IMHO, better than at least 90% of the other teenage/young adult movies out there.

The story (as with most comedies) is pretty basic. It's about a day in the life of two slackers who both get dumped by their girlfriends that morning. They then spend the rest of the day hanging around the mall (in an ironic touch, the mall in question, while supposedly set in New Jersey, is actually about five miles from where I live, in the Minneapolis suburb Eden Prairie) trying to figure out how to win back their girls. Along the way they encounter Kevin Smith's trademark ensemble of oddball characters, most notably Jay & Silent Bob who give what I think are their funniest movie performances. Kevin Smith continues themes established in `Clerks' (and repeated in his following movies) namely, homages to Star Wars, Jaws, and hockey and throws in some new ones, most notably, comics and video games. As in `Clerks', nothing much really happens, the two, as the tagline puts it, aren't at the mall to work or to shop, they're just there. Well, not entirely. Amid their random meanderings and encounters with other Kevin Smith favorites like Ben Affleck and Joey Lauren Adams there is an actual plot, namely, one of the guys is scheming to wreck a TV game show to be broadcast live at the mall later that day and he enlists Jay and Silent Bob to do the dirty deed. Why? Well, it's too complicated to explain in a brief review, but the payoff is hilarious. Whatever else one thinks of this movie, it has to be about the best send up of game shows ever as the dynamic duo infiltrate a Dating Game rip-off and turn the whole thing into a circus. The final 20 minutes or so of this movie is simply some of the funniest stuff you'll see anywhere.

What about the rest? Mostly it's pretty good, although Kevin Smith's penchant for pushing the envelope means he sometimes goes too far when it comes to matters of taste, most notably scenes like the infamous `chocolate pretzel' and a former `Three's Company' star playing a topless fortune teller, not to mention the 15 year old girl who's doing a `science project' that involves having sex with multiple men of varying ages. Also, Smith seems to have some sort of fixation on homosexuality that keeps coming up (pardon the pun) in his movies. Is he simply using gay jokes as a means of getting a cheap laugh or is this his way of working out some personal `issues'? I don't know and, further, I don't care because I think there are better, more creative ways to get a laugh. But, these complaints aside, this movie is still funny as hell, and, as with `Clerks', Smith proves he has a good ear for tunes to accompany the film, especially in the title sequence which features all the characters drawn comic book style. Very original, and it works perfectly. One final comment: I personally think the best way to watch his movies is to view them in order; this, for example, gives us the same basic slacker attitude and mentality of `Clerks', only in color and with a much bigger budget. He then went for the `quality' flick with `Chasing Amy' followed by the `issues' flick in `Dogma', finally returning to pure comedy in `Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back'. For one, the movies are all related, and each new one refers to his previous ones. Many of the jokes only make sense if you understand the context. And also, someone who saw the much more dramatic and polished `Chasing Amy' first and this film later might tend to dismiss it as sophomoric trash, not realizing that Smith got his start doing pure comedy, not romantic drama. In sum, this is a film in the tradition of `Airplane!' or `Scary Movie' in that it's all about going to any length to get a laugh, and, for the most part, it succeeds splendidly.

8/10

PS. As with all his other movies, Kevin Smith goes to considerable length to please his fans with his DVD's. They are all chock full of extra features, deleted scenes and the like, and his commentaries are some of the best in the movie business. Smith obviously knows he has a highly loyal fan base, and he returns that loyalty in spades.

This is a niche film. If you can put yourself into the mindset of a 20-something slacker, who has no ambition whatsoever in life, this film may engender some sense of emotional investment in its characters and a sense of identifying with same. However, if this situation is impossible for you, then you will not only not see the humor herein, you will most likely bemoan the time wasted in its viewing.

This is a Jay and Silent Bob flick wherein the two buds are dumped by their gals, subsequently seeking major wound-licking in the mall. It plays like the Revenge of the Nerds, though not as intelligently, nor with the same amount of heart, but with a more modern spin.

If you've of a mind, this can be highly entertaining. If not, don't say you weren't warned.

It rates a 7.2/10 from...

the Fiend :.

I guess that people can be split in two ways - those that like Kevin Smith's films and those that don't. From watching his films, he seems to like his characters to exist in his strange world where things are exaggerated and ridiculous characters do unrealistic things.

That sums up Mallrats - it's the story of two friends who both lose their girlfriends and then spend the rest of the day hanging around in the local mall. Whilst hanging around they meet friends and get into scrapes as they strive to get their girlfriends back.

I suppose if you looked at it coolly it's all a bit silly - fully of ridiculous situations and scrapes that are resolved in unbelievable ways. But then if you accept Smith's world of comic book style adventures and cartoon film making then this is great. Whereas his later Chasing Amy brings adult subjects into the comedy - this is pure cartoon comedy, although understand it's not dumb like slapstick - but crazy, clever humour with plenty of jokes occuring all around the main action.

OK the overall plot is weak at best, but the story is more about the characters and the situations along the journey to the end of the film and here is where Smith wins. He has created crazy characters that are funny and often exaggerated versions of people or of people's reactions to situations (witness the magic-eye poster guy for an example of exaggerated humour).

Lee is fantastic, this is the role he was made for - he reacts in an exaggerated way to everything and really hams it up. I suppose he's a comic-book reading loser but in this world he is funny and in control. He is loud and abusive to others and it's great! Jeremy London is a weak straight man and doesn't really convince.

Jay & Silent Bob are good as always - although for most of the movie they exist in their own little subplot of taking on the mall police. Again their adventures are exaggerated for humour.

If you hated Clerks and Smith's other movies then you'll hate this. However if this world is one that appeals to you then you'll love this movie's reckless abandonment of reality and enjoy the adventures involved in a trip to the mall.

this is an incredible movie and if your a clerks fan (which I'm assuming is the only Kevin smith film you've seen because its blasphemous to watch them out of order) then this is even better. mallrats is the kind of movie you watch once on DVD and don't take it out of the drawer, because you know you'll wanna watch it later. its laugh out loud funny and anyone remotely interested in the inner workings of a geek or, like me, you are a geek, then this will give voice to the geek generation and make it cool. Recently, The OC has made comic books cool in the form of Seth Cohen. but before there was Seth, there was Brodie.

easily the greatest character lee has ever played and the best character that Smith has ever written, Brodie is obsessed with two things, Comics and himself. and as long as the two are together, he doesn't care. which is exactly what must be changed. ill let you find out how.

jay and silent bob make a welcome comeback in a slightly more central role with a lot more to do. with hilarious results.

i originally put 8 for this movie. but thinking about it again its a 10 and its going in my movies :) l8er days PaUl :)

Two underachieving slackers T. S. Quint (Jeremy London) and Brodie Bruce (Jason Lee) both lose their girlfriends on the same day Quint's girlfriend Brandi (Claire Forlani) breaking up with him due to wedges with her father and would-be TV producer Jared Svenning (Michael Rooker), while Brodie's girlfriend Rene (Shannen Doherty) breaks up with him due to his lack of drive, motivation, or ambition. With nothing else for them to do, Quint and Brodie spend time at the local mall where fate crosses their paths with their exes, troublemakers Jay (Jason Mewes) and Silent Bob (Kevin Smith), and various mallgoers and staff with grievances against the two.

Mallrats is the sophomore film of writer/director Kevin Smith that marked Smith's first studio project after the breakout success of Clerks impressed producer James Jacks enough to set up a film at Universal. As is the case with many indie directors who transition to the studio environment, Smith had often had to press producers to allow him on certain choices such as the casting of Ben Affleck or in the case of Jay's casting Universal's insistence that either Seth Green or Breckin Meyer played the part (with the Jason Mewes' dailies luckily putting the kibosh on such mandates). When the movie was released it did garner some positive reviews such as from Variety, but most critics tended to look upon it negatively and commercially it underperformed but would later find an audience through home video. Mallrats does show a struggle in smith reconciling his indie rawness with studio polish, but of the 90s slacker/gross-out comedies this was certainly one of the more ambitious and consistently funny of them.

Rather than a slice of life type affair that Smith presented in his debut film Clerks, Mallrats is a built on a more conventional "boy loses girl, boy gets girl back" type story that is primarily a driving engine for the setpieces and jokes within the New Jersey mall where much of the action takes place. While our two leads in Jeremy London's Quint and Jason Lee's Brodie are cut from a similar cloth to Dante and Randall, there's also an undeniably "studio" feeling with the film falling in line with the edgy Gen-Xer types of humor that defined the 90s such as in Beavis & Butt-Head. As Mallrats is primarily a delivery system for various jokes and physical comedy stunts, the film very much lives and dies on its gags and for the most part they work more often than they don't. Particularly standout scenes involving a topless fortune teller, an extended cameo by Stan Lee, and a climax set around a shameless Dating Game knock-off lead to some solid laughs especially from Jason Lee's Brodie who showcases some superb comedic timing. Admittedly some of the pacing could've been tightened up as Smith doesn't feel like he's fully acclimated to a studio comedy (a fact made even more clear in the extended cut which while posessing a certain curiosity factor is more of a glorified workprint with most of the cuts that have been made being positives).

Mallrats has found itself the subject of a cult following since its initial failed release and of that era of 90s slacker/gross-out films it stands above many of its contemporaries and has much snappier dialogue and creativity. Not as quotable or as influential as Clerks, but nonetheless an entertaining but flawed sophomore effort.

This movie is really extremely funny.

That is, if you are into either Comics, Science Fiction or Shopping Malls.

The basic idea is simple: Two dumped guys try to win their girl-friends back, and their brilliant strategy is to hang around in the local shopping mall.

What makes the movie work is the wonderful mix of slap stick humor, intelligent puns and gross sexual innuendos. The actors are excellent in their roles, and I was surprised to see Ben Affleck and Claire Forlani, two coming actors, credited for supporting roles.

For a comic fan this movie is a awfully funny experience. But I can imagine that the film looses some of its appeal when you are not familiar with the Marvel and DC comic heroes and the strange passion (and science) of collecting comic books.

And to everybody who has also failed in seeing a sailboat in those dumb 3-D-pictures, this movie provides some comfort...

Granted, it's weaker than his other three films to date. On the other hand, a weak Kevin Smith movie is stronger than a strong film by most other writers/directors. This film is hilarious! It takes mall culture to a higher level! A good contrast to Richard Linklater's/Eric Bogosian's Suburbia, though it's better than Suburbia in most ways. Many of the pop culture refs and the satire of young adult life make this film even cooler! And how the hell did he get Stan Lee to appear? (And he was surprisingly really good!)

This is Shannen Doherty's best role (mainly because she's hardly ever on screen;), Jason Lee's best role, and Jeremy London's best role (not to be confused with twin brother Jason who was the awesome Randall Pink Floyd in Dazed and Confused...though Ben Affleck and Joey Lauren Adams were both in Dazed as well...)

Look for an amusing role played by Ethan Suplee (Seth in American History X)

Overall: this film just plain rocks! It's got great quirky writing, great direction, solid acting, a three-nippled topless clairvoyant, a hilarious love connection parody, a 15 year old nympho (played by the amusing Claire Forlani), Stan Lee...what more could one ask for?? It's not his best, it has flaws, but it's still classic Smith! An easy 7/10!

I am not a massive fan of most of Kevin Smith films but this is by far his best work with Chasing Amy coming closely behind but this is a really good watch and I will tell you a little secret. When satellite TV came to the UK in the mid-1990's and we all put our dishes on the side of the wall of our houses, we had for the first time ever 24 hour film channels and when I tuned into our Sky Films subscription channel, Mallrats was one of the first films I watched.

I don't think I would have got to watch if it wasn't for the advent of Sky satellite TV and getting that dish put on the side of the house. I had never heard of Smith but what he introduced me to was a somewhat working class existence in New Jersey of two young slackers hanging all day around a mall - not too dissimilar to my life of a jobless slacker (at the time) hanging around with his friends in a gym in a working class town in the north west of England so on the most basic level, I got the film and thoroughly enjoyed it because it reminded me of my life and of course Sky TV (and later the internet which I knew nothing about at the time) would end up completely opening up my world and changing my life. Mallrats was something that opened up my narrow existence about how other people lived and far different from the usual portrayals of American life - from 'Dallas' to 'Roseanne' and everything in between, it was a film about people just like me.

This is a great film but the reason I marked it as highly as I have done because at the time it reminded me of me and of a time long gone.

Easily one of the lightest and hijink-filled Kevin Smith movies, "Mallrats" is the unlikely love story buried in a tale of consumerist tomfoolery. There are all sorts of little things happening in this movie that make me laugh, but you've gotta hand it to Jason Lee for really shouldering this thing. The man's working in shades of irate and I don't think he fails to pull off a single line. This is proof he was born to play Banky Edwards in Chasing Amy, and his rage never fails to delight. Doesn't matter what kind of day I'm having, simply hearing him yell "That kid is on the escalator again!" is always a mood-brightener.

Kevin Smith has, as far as I'm concerned, done it again.

Now it is to be stated that I absolutely LOVE "Clerks", and I for one was not disappointed by "Mallrats". This is a fresh breath of air into the heavily made-up and glossy Hollywood productions. Also, in "Mallrats", we have made the pleasant acquaintance of actor Jason Lee, who is just about the perfect guy for this film. I also find it very relieving that Kevin Smith does not attempt to bore us with that "oh let's educate the watchers"- morality so often to be found in American comedy films.

All in all this is the perfect film to watch when you need some cheering-up, relief from work or just one and a half hour of total, none-educational fun.

"Mallrats" has found a great cult audience, now that it's out on video and DVD, despite the fact that it was a huge bomb at the box office. That's great to know. And of course, Kevin Smith fans adore the film as well. I happen to be one of those fans, and I always enjoy watching this movie. It has many great lines, though in Kevin Smith tradition, sometimes he falls so much in love with his dialogue that it sometimes feels stilted. I still love the film, but I can't deny that the dialogue doesn't always appear natural. But at least the dialogue is intelligent, which something Smith never gets full credit for. Critics and angry audiences spend too much time dwelling on the profane nature of his work, yet there's tons of comedies out there that are profane, but not the damn bit intelligent. Jason Lee gives a memorable performance as Brodie. This is the role he was born to play! He's up there with Jason Alexander when it comes to playing the neurotic best friend. Michael Rooker also seems to be having a lot of fun, playing a great villain. As for Claire Forlani, I can never get over her disastrous American accent. I'm guessing she learned from her mistakes before doing other American films like "Meet Joe Black," "Antitrust" and "Boys and Girls." In all of those films, she seems to pull off the accent without a hitch. I don't understand why the studio tried to cut down on the film's use of profanity. Just another example of a**hole studio execs trying to take advantage of the independent filmmaker. As if we don't see any studio films with strong pervasive language. "Pulp Fiction" was also a Miramax film. 'Nuff said. You know damn well these execs are prejudice against certain filmmakers. I guess they just assume Smith is some young Neandrathal. Eh, screw them. Though I laughed a good deal, I still find the chocolate-covered pretzel gag downright disgusting. But overall this film is definitely worth checking out!

My score: 7 (out of 10)

There's a lot of surprisingly weak acting here, surprising considering the material doesn't require much heavy lifting. It often comes across as a high school play.

It seems Kevin Smith movies really click with some and not others. They don't click much for me. While there are some very funny moments, most of this film consists of lengthy rambled "gags" that are a chuckle at best.

As most Smith fanboys know, Mallrats has been trashed critically, financially (bad box-office) and by a lot of Smith's own fan-base.

Personally I like it. Even without watching the DVD with commentary by Smith its obvious that this outing was backed by Hollywood, emitting a polish and lack of gloom that his other films don't have and thus gaining flack over its lack of "Indie" look and feel and hammy storyline. Had this film been in black in white, shot using a cheaper production method, or had a less happier ending, it possibly would have fared better with the fans than it did.

Listen to the dialogue though and its soon apparent this is indeed pure Smith. And it shines. The long diatribes about seemingly nothing, the anti-establishment rumblings of Brody (who ironically spends a lot of the film clarifying escalator ettiquite and other mall law), and a bigger involvement of Jay and Bob (but not too much) make this as good, if not better than the other Kevin Smith films and quite possibly my favourite of his.

Its hard to rate this film, you'll either really like it and give it a 10 or tuck into another chocolate pretzel after giving it a 1.

Post-adolescent confusion abounds, as slackers TS and Brodie, as they are both dumped by their girlfriends, wander to the local shopping mall. There, they meet all their friends (where else would they be?), and wander around all day trying to squelch their angst. Willam, a similarly-aged wanderer, stares all day at a Magic Eye poster, never to see the sailboat. A metaphor for the college-age blues? Jay and Silent Bob, a couple of stoned rapscallions, are there to help in the adventure. See, Brandi's father is filming a dating game show at the mall, and our hero T. S. has plans to win her back. Several attempts are made to sabotage the show, but will it be too late? Absurd plot points aside, strong performance and direction carry this wandering screenplay to excellence. It perfectly captures the way young people talk and act, and how so many big things can happen in one day - even if it's at the mall. Kevin Smith is to be commended for writing and directing such an offbeat slice of 90s perfection. A time capsule of an era, that while it may not look like the same world young people inhabit today, they can still relate they can still relate to the inner-workings of the character's minds. A key 90's film.

What can I say about this movie. It's got everything...drama, comedy, action, romance, and even a little grossness to it's plot. Where else can you see one man break up with his girlfriend, go to the mall, help destroy a friend's ex girlfriend's father's television game show, stinkpalm a couple people, find a couple hooligans to help you along the way and have time to have sex in an elevator? NOWHERE...that's why this movie has it all. Character development is a big big part of movies and this one has development of 2 memorable characters who we would see in a later film..."Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back". Kevin Smith excels as director (and actor as Silent Bob). This movie also launched the career of Jason Lee who played the comic loving, video game playing, mallrat of a crazy fool Brodie Bruce. Lee has gone on to star in such films in Stealing Harvard, A Guy Thing, Dogma, and Almost Famous. The movie makes you laugh uncontrollably in parts where you KNOW something funny is going to happen yet still laugh because it's outrageous. I highly reccomend this flick to all who are looking for a great comedy that's got it all.

Kevin Smith is a kind of strange species in Hollywood, I've seen his two films before, JERSEY GIRL and DOGMA. But not the most famous one THE CLERK, that's why I haven't seen CLERK 2 up to the present, and I think I'll watch them together one day.

As for this movie, still quite Kevin Smith, we can find the famous Jay and Silent Bob here, also the regular cast including Jason Lee, Ben Affleck, Joey Lauren Adams etc.

The plot line is kinda funny, most of the scenes happened in a local mall, two guys are going to win their girlfriends back, not like teen movie s these days, this one contains numerous japes which are neither dirty nor tacky, the measure between between humor and smarty is hard to handle, this film manages it very well. Although in my opinion, Michael Rooker gives a rather gross performance (it's horrible to see his fat ass on screen!).

As a Chinese, Kevin Smith seems too local for me, so I don't think I'm his loyal fan, but he's intelligent and has some good quality to make more WIDER films, and I do like silent bob, he's the funniest part in this film.

I came late to Kevin Smith's ViewAskewaverse. I saw Chasing Amy shortly after it went to video and adored it, but it wasn't until Dogma that I realized just how much this director and I saw the world alike. After seeing Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back 4 times in the theater, I knew I had to go back and see Clerks and Mallrats. Most of my friends said I should like 'em with my sense of humor. LIKE them?! I LOVE them! Clerks is a true masterpiece, but Mallrats isn't far behind. It's amazing how clearly you can see Smith's growth as a person and a director even watching these movies out of order. The story is excellent without a thread left hanging and with belly laughs galore. I couldn't recommend it more as long as you don't take yourself--or the ViewAskewaverse--seriously. Enjoy!

This is really a starring vehicle for Jason Lee. Lee seems to be the bright point in all of Kevin Smith's films. Technically this film is like all of Kevin Smith's others. Not alot of camera movement, imperfect editing, the usual. But that is not what really matters. The story and the comedic timing is what is most important, and Smith has more than enough to go around. 7/10

Mallrats is exactly what its title says. A day in the life of two Mallrats, brought to us by none other than Kevin Smith. It follows a little more of a storyline then its predecessor Clerks. Both are written and directed by Kevin Smith. Both star almost all then unknown actors. Both are classic. But enough comparing the two comedy classics. I will move to Mallrats.

The film follows a variety of then unknown actors: Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, Jeremy London, Joey Lauren Adams just to name a few. Lee and London play the leads as they both attempt to win back their ex-girlfriends at the local mall. They travel the mall with a little help from Jay and Silent Bob, two drug dealers with a sense of humor who always come in handy.

London plays T.S. Quint, a young man recently dumped by the woman he wanted to marry at Universal Studios Theme Park. London isn't exactly the biggest name of actors but he does have a few good films out there. Mallrats is one of those few. His performance is believable and his comedy is great. The interaction between him and Lee is magnificent, especially in the last scene. Overall a solid job from London.

Jason Lee steals the show for me. Having only done two works prior I believe Lee went into this project looking to make a name for himself. His comedy is by far the best and the way he delivers everything he says and does is just how I picture a real life Brodie Bruce acting. He is witty, he's smart mouth, he is cool, and he's a low life. How can you not love him? His last scene in the film is by far one of the funniest sequences I've ever seen.

Mallrats plot isn't exactly there. Kind of like an updated Bio-Dome without stupid characters or a Dome. Unlike Bio-Dome, the actors are funny and the characters don't have to be mentally challenged to be funny. Mallrats is a classic of modern comedy. Equal with Dumb and Dumber and Happy Gilmore in laugh factors. It shouldn't be missed, there's too much to miss out on... if that makes sense.

4/5 Stars

This movie is about two of the most unlikable, unsympathetic losers ever portrayed in recent memory. They get dumped by their girlfriends - really they should get dumped by the entire world. They are self-centered in the extreme, immature in the extreme, and incredibly annoying. The whole movie is based on a single gimmick: take an actual conversation, transcribe it into Microsoft Word, then use the thesaurus tool to replace every adjective with more obscure ones. That's it. It goes on without pause for the entire film - people talk about nothing in this "clever" way. I just saw the film last night and I honestly can't remember a single topic of any conversation that took place. Needless to say, the two main characters are beyond shallow. They don't have any personalities other than that they like video games, comic books, and they just will not stop talking - ever. Even though they never say anything. We're supposed to be impressed by the clever use of oddball words, for instance calling a pool table a "gaming table". Man, wouldn't you just love to sit through two hours of people doing this? Let me tell you, it makes Pauly Shore and his screwball take on Valley Girl talk seem enjoyable by comparison.

There are other characters: Shannon Doherty puts in a cameo. She's really the only likable character in the movie, and says about the only funny line. Some other girl who's name doesn't deserve to be remembered plays the other loser's girlfriend. She recites a few lines of dialog at the beginning, a few more towards the end. Another girl named Gwen starts out all right, she's like Kelly Bundy from Married with Children, except twice as slutty, but by the end of her part she's speaking via the thesaurus as well. Jay and Silent Bob? Jay is a stoner who acts like he's got to go to the bathroom really bad; Bob is just a fat idiot who spends the whole movie pointing his hand at things and trying to use "the force" to move objects. There's also a comic book writer who shows up to inject a large amount of padding into a scene. The head doofus asks him if that guy from the Fantastic Four who was made out of rock, well, was his you-know-what made out of rock as well? Is that wacky or what? Ha ha. This goes on and on.

Overall, this movie is flat out unwatchable. The special features on the DVD are a joke as well. It's advertised as having over an hour of deleted scenes. The first ten minutes of these deleted scenes consists of a film of an unused script. Actual film of the script, you know, hold the camera in front of the paper and slowly pan down. About two thirds of the "scenes" are the writer talking about the scenes. There's supposedly a trailer on the DVD as well - good luck trying to find it.