U.F.O.

And this was one. So I can't tell you the ending. I can only tell you that ten minutes in I was praying for the sweet oblivion of the grave to overtake me so I wouldn't have to endure another second of this. I thought I hated feminists. Turns out I like them more than I like Roy Chubby Brown, and this movie is the reason. When he's doing his own stand up he can do timing nearly as well as Bernard Manning, so he gets away with real filth. And he's funny. This film doesn't allow for any of that, and it's censored, so all you get is his unrelieved hatred of women, without any comic timing to make the jokes bearable, and be able to make you laugh. Not even once. It's the difference between being on a cruise ship deck and being down in the sluices, sliding around in the vomit from all the seasick people. Up on deck you might know that the ship has places you'd rather not go and spoil the cruise. This film is all sluice. And it would take weeks to wash it off. This film is an insult to the human condition. Watch it by choice only if you are on the edge of suicide and need something to push you over the edge with the sheer futility of human existence.

" The following film contains bad language " said the announcer before U.F.O was broadcast . What he failed to mention was it also contains bad directing , bad acting and a really bad script . This is bad, pathetically bad . I`ll give you an example : a bunch of lads in a van take down their pants and stick their bare bottoms up against the windows to impress a bunch of bimbos driving by . The bimbos drive off and a car with a couple of nuns drives up alongside . Finished laughing ? Did you start laughing ? Did you smile ? Neither did I . I`ll give you another example of belly laughs in this laughfest: Roy " Chubby " Brown says to a jobsworth " The day I pay to get into one of my own shows is the day I show my arse in the front window of Woolworths " Guess what the next scene involves ? Oh you`ve seen U.F.O too ? You haven`t ? well in that case you`re bloody lucky because this is the British equivalent of FREDDY GOT FINGERED and I can`t describe how pathetic this is , there`s no sophistication to Brown`s humour , there is no humour to Brown`s humour which consists entirely of Brown saying the F and C words as often as he can . Compared to Chubby Brown Bernard Manning is a comic genius

Before anyone asks why I watched U.F.O if I don`t like Brown let me point out that I`ll watch a movie with the express view of commenting on it at this very website and I`ll happily watch pathetic crap because it`s easier to write about than a film I liked , this being the case all I will say this has been a very easy review to write because of the pathetic subject matter.

One very strange point though , most of the people who watched this and voted must have been fans of Brown in much the same way only Iron Maiden fans watched ROCK IN RIO or Pink Floyd fans watched THE WALL or U2 fans watched UNDER A BLOOD RED SKY , but ROCK IN RIO had an average vote of 9.3 , THE WALL had an average vote of 7.3 while UNDER A BLOOD RED SKY had an average vote of 7.9 . U.F.O has an average vote of 3.1 which seems to indicate the average Roy " Chubby " Brown fan thought this film was pathetic garbage too

I got this tape as part of a group of videos and, being totally unfamiliar with Roy "Chubby" Brown, viewed it with low expectations. My conclusion was that the video was not a loss because I could still use the tape to record something else!

Intellectually you could say this movie derives from three sources. Ever since the days of British "quota quickies" there has been a history of comic divide between southern and northern England. In the more elegant south there was drawing room comedy (i.e. Aldwych farces) and in the working man's north there was low brow humor (i.e. George Formby). North American's may have a perception that a "British comedy" is a "British comedy" but the truth is that the northerners seldom played London or the south. The humor and the accents, much like Roy"Chubby" Brown's, didn't "travel". The second source is the show business celebrity playing "himself" (i.e. Jack Benny) as the lead in a movie. Apparently Mr. Brown's stand-up comedy routines, some of which is shown in the movie, are based on sexist and derogatory "humor". This is strictly low brow, with women as the butt of all jokes and the topics mainly derived from female bodily functions. Others, including myself, will be equally offended by the fact that the comedy is simply moronic (a conclusion also supported by the fact that every second word is F***). Roy "Chubby" Brown turns his image into the movie by playing himself, a comic who offends women. The third source is the trend towards British, and increasingly American, "lads" magazines (i.e Maxim, Stuff etc). This is the Roy "Chubby" Brown audience, 19 year old beer drinkers.

The plot is limited. Comedian Brown, noted for his sexist routines, is kidnaped by female aliens who place him on trial for his "crime" against women. Naturally they convict him and sentence him to have babies. That's the whole plot! Needless to say the movie was written by Mr. Brown and really just consists of set-ups for him to turn to the camera and deliver a "joke". The movie seemed endless despite the fact that it was only 79 minutes. His fellow "actors" contribute nothing. Sara Stockbridge, who plays the alien pursuing Brown is yet another model "posing" through her "performance". Shirley Anne Field, playing the head of the aliens, apparently shot her scenes separately (she only shows up on a screen). Smart girl! Sue Lloyd plays the alien judge, no acting required. Finally, I saw Roger Lloyd-Pack in a movie twenty years previous to this (Confessions Of a Sex Maniac) and noted that he had only one facial expression. All I can say is that twenty years later he still has it!

Technical credits are moderate but many people will have to strain to understand Brown's accent.

"Lads" may enjoy this movie, feminists will be offended and the rest of us left to wonder how this ever got made.

1st of all this '19 year old beer drinkers' audience quote. I recently went to see Chubby Brown and there were more pensioners there than there was youth, the front 5 rows added to a total age of the rest of the audience! 2nd the north/south divide in comedy. If you don't live over here then I don't expect you to know much, but if you cared to research a little before talking about something then you would see that there are very many well respected Northern comedian who are certainly not low brow, take Peter Kay, Paddy McGuiness, Ernie Wise (from Morecambe and Wise) and Barry Cryer, who has written comedy routines for the following: Dave Allen, Stanley Baxter, Jack Benny, Rory Bremner, George Burns, Jasper Carrott, Tommy Cooper, Les Dawson, Dick Emery, Kenny Everett, Bruce Forsyth, David Frost, Bob Hope, Frankie Howard, Richard Pryor, Mike Yarwood, The Two Ronnies and Morecambe and Wise. So I think I made my point there.

3rd is this little quote: "Others, including myself, will be equally offended by the fact that the comedy is simply moronic". If you hated it so much then why take the time to pan it on the internet, also if it was that offensive then why go through the hassle of watching all of it, surely once you're offended it should be time to turn it off, not continue to see how many points you can make about it.

The plot shouldn't matter in a comedy film, as long as it make you laugh.

Just thought I'd offer up some constructive criticism so maybe next time you'll think before jumping down something's throat.

Who thought this film was a good idea, written by 'comedian' roy 'chubby' brown it's a juxaposition of unfunny one liners and over the top performences on a set which looks like something designed on Blue Peter. The 'plot' has Chubby as himself, put on trial for sexism and for comments like 'i hope your tampon turns into an hedgehog' and 'what's the matter love? Have the greengrocers run out of cucumbers'. One has to wonder about the mentality of such an individual and for the individuals who would want to spend time and money watching this film. The worst crime of all is quality scripts are turned away and talented directors are ignored so companies can invest in offensive nonsense like this. As Empire Magazine said in it's review 'civilised filmgoers, dive for cultural lifeboats'.