Mean Guns

It's not really a good movie, let's make that clear. The chaotic shootouts are not skillfully constructed, the story is both implausible and confusing (especially at the end, when it keeps trying to top itself with one stupid "twist" after another; it should have stuck to the rules it established in the beginning), and Lambert and Ice-T both give performances too awful for words. What makes the picture fun is its premise, and some of the supporting members of the cast, particularly Michael Halsey (who really shines with a strong presence deserving of a far better movie), Okumoto and Matthews (whose duo is quite amusing to watch) and Tina Cote (who's pretty hot). Overall, it's worth a couple of viewings if you're an action fan. (**1/2)

To start off with this easily dismissable garbage, I should say that the premise is great. An action picture needs a plot like this one to set up the sequences, but this one manages to be...bad. Very bad.

The direction is probably the biggest weight to bringing it down to the bottom of the barrel. Director Albert Pyun has had a lot experience with the profession, but this movie is directed with a questionable ineptitude. He makes an embarrassing error in setting the film to an elevator music-like jazz that doesn't fit even in the least bit well. This film is obviously on a low budget, but better music would have been easily obtained...this shows a purposeful decision. A bad one at that. The lighting is one of the director's worst annoyances in this movie. The film is shot with a blue filter and the light from the windows shine in, getting in the way. The film looks absolutely terrible . The acting is my next major complaint. Christopher Lambert who, year by year, becomes increasingly more generic gives a generally bad performance. He is cocky, not in a good Bruce Willis "Die Hard" way either. He's like those nerds I used to see in middle school gym class who would walk around like they're the stuff and then embarrass themselves when we would play basketball. Ice T is just himself, an angry, sleazy, platinum-toothed gangster. He is funny to watch and quote in his bizzare and equally bad performance. I don't want to complain too much about the writing, because of the original idea, but the script is filled with Tarantino-wannabe dialogue and weak action, with a laughable climax on top. I didn't expect much at the video store when I passed this one in the action section. I atleast wanted some action, not seaking good direction and acting, but everything is last rate...disappointingly enough, the action scenes.

Albert Pyun has his own way of making films. He is responsible for "Omega Doom" and "Crazy Six", two movies that in spite of having quite different plots, possess in common the peculiar and curious way with which the director accomplishes his works. "Mean Guns" follows the Pyun's formula: many shootings and closes in slow motion,different and weird camera movements, strange characters and a poor script. In this film, Lambert is a murderer who,along with other criminals, is trapped inside a prison and he needs to survive before his chances drain. Pyun substitutes idea and good-sense for excellent action scenes, that remind plenty of John Woo and Sam Peckinpah's best efforts. Unhappily, that is not enough to maintain the interest for this bad film.

I can agree with other sentiments here: "Mean Guns" is more than just the standard B movie. I was lured to this thing by the names involved, but what we get here is not relentlessly predictable stuff.

A crime boss named Vincent Moon (Ice-T) gathers a large group of lowlifes together, people who've "betrayed" their organization basically by being screw-ups. Moon's idea is to put all of them into a "kill or be killed" situation, providing them with various weapons, and the last three standing will supposedly walk away with the sum of $10 million.

In addition to Ice-T, we get several B movie perennials doing their thing; Christopher Lambert brings his own brand of acting to a more jovial - and unhinged - character than usual. Also appearing are Deborah Van Valkenburgh ("The Warriors"), Thom Mathews ("The Return of the Living Dead"), Yuji Okumoto ("The Karate Kid, Part II"), Tina Cote ("Omega Doom"), Kimberly Warren ("Blast"), and Michael Halsey ("Dollman"). Hoke Howell of such classics as "Kingdom of the Spiders" and "Humanoids from the Deep" has a cameo at the outset.

As one will notice, the cast is partly filled up by regulars in the films of the prolific Albert Pyun, and it doesn't matter if the acting ain't ever gonna win any awards; it still gets the job done. Ice is amusing in the lead, and Lambert is actually a hoot, although it's veteran Halsey that really stands out, playing one of the most interesting characters in the whole thing. Van Valkenburgh is likable as the most sympathetic of them all. Mathews and Okumoto have their moments as a consistently bantering pair of buddies.

It's hard to knock a movie that immediately goes for the approach of underscoring the fast and furious action with mambo music, which adds to the humor. Of course, when one sees the ridiculous fate of one of the characters, they'll see this is never meant to be taken too seriously. At an hour and 51 minutes it IS awfully long for this sort of thing, but that kooky charm still pervades the proceedings. And, despite all the violence, there's really no gore at all.

Fans of low budget escapist fare should find this reasonably interesting and diverting, all the way to its unexpected ending.

Seven out of 10.

Christopher Lambert and Ice-T in the same B movie? How could this not be enjoyable for B movie fans? Christopher Lambert runs around doing very Christopher Lambert type stuff at Christopher Lambert level acting ability. However, this actually works for the movie as he plays a somewhat not entirely sane person. Also, when a man like Ice-T tosses you the baseball bat in his hands and says, "I want to see if I'm as bad as I say I am." Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to fight him... run!

Overall, if you're looking for a masterpiece... this is NOT it. However, if you are looking to waste away an evening with (pretty much) mindless shooting and killing, look no further.