Hugo Pool

Alyssa Milano plays "Hugo" an overworked pool cleaning gal, who needs to clean 44 pools in one day. That is the only normal part of this movie. The rest of it has such poor casting choices and plot lines that is is painful to watch.

Along the way she picks up her father, Malcolm McDowell, who is doing the worst Jimmy Durante impression I have ever heard, and who is trying to kick his heroin habit by shooting the heroin into a puppet that he carries around. Retarded.

Jimmy Durante, er, Malcolm, then runs into a gay hitchhiker with blue shoes, played by Sean Penn. How they talked Sean Penn into this role is beyond me. He appears to be trying to be mysterious, but comes across as a whiney gay 12-year-old.

She sends her dad (and the hitchhiker) on a mission to get some water for one of her clients, a bug-eyed jabbering Richard Lewis, who is supposedly a mafioso, but comes off as threatening as a wet paper bag.

She then picks up her mother, a gambling addict. She in turn shanghais one of Hugo's clients, a man with als (Lou Gherig's Disease) and starts carrying him around in the back of a pickup truck (wheelchair and all) so he can be her gambling good luck charm. Ridiculous.

Along the way, they run into Robert Downey Jr as a wacked out film director, but Robert puts on this outrageous fakey French accent and so he comes across like a bad Inspector Clouseau. Obnoxious.

They finally meet up with Hugo's Mom's bookie, played by Chuck "Chuckie-baby" Barris from the old GONG SHOW, who is more interested in a romp in the hay than money. Strange.

The ending is more like a documentary about ALS than a comedy, and has the totally predictable typical heart wrenching ending. That didn't even get any sympathy points from me. Lame.

The only redeming virtue would have been seeing Alyssa in the buff, and that didn't even happen. What was that director thinking? Weak.

My assessment: 2 of 10 Good only for hard-core Alyssa fans.

Judging from the range of comments on Hugo Pool they seem to run the gamut. As a film, it's not the kind of thing I'd usually watch, but it did contain some rather strange characters.

Alyssa Milano in between her stints as Tony Danza's daughter in Who's The Boss and one of the Halliwell sisters in Charmed was cast in the lead by director Robert Downey, Sr. She seems to have taken complete charge of the pool cleaning company that is a family business because dad (Malcolm McDowell) is reverting to being a teenager and mom (Cathy Moriarty) can't control her gambling addiction. In fact she either has to come up with the money or sleep with the bookie.

Anyway somebody has to step up to the plate and Alyssa seems the only one likely to do so. She's got a lot of customers out there in Nevada who want to use their swimming pools because of the heat and who need them cleaned.

Anyway on her route she meets Patrick Dempsey who even with Lou Gehrig's disease is not about to miss out on all the good things in life. In fact one of only two parts of his anatomy are untouched by amytrophic lateral sclerosis, his brain and the love muscle. In fact the second has some remarkable staying power as he informs us.

Hugo Pool is the story of all these characters and the day they spend together. It's an interesting tale and maybe had it been done in a more straightforward and romantic way, I might have liked the film better.

Still it's not the fault of the cast who give some very good performances. Not mentioned by me before are Robert Downey, Jr. as an egotistical movie director and Sean Penn as a hitchhiker Malcolm McDowell picks up. Dig those sky blue shoes that Penn wears.

Hugo Pool might be your cup of tea, it wasn't quite mine though.

I rented this movie because I saw everything else at the movie store 30 times each. This was a special treat for me. Alyssa Milano is a wonderful young actress. She's so sweet and she's tough at the same time. I really loved her character. I also liked the love story with her and Partick Dempsey. Malcolm MacDowel was hilarious. I like his relationship with Sean Penn. They were funny together. I loved that thing with the shoes. Cathy Moriarty was great as the gambling mother of Alyssa Milano. I enjoyed this movie a lot. I think very highly of it.

There are a number of memorable acting turns, some more than obvious self-reflective references to addictions (of all types), and a too-pat hand of predictability to move this film beyond a 6 for me. The performances almost rise above the plot restrictions (or lack of restrictions)....an interesting contrast is Robert Altman's "Cookie's Fortune" which I saw two days later which used the characters' idiosyncrasies to move a plot.

I have to admit, as I watched the movie, my expectations haven't been met. Most of all, I expected a plot. Since most movies have one, at least to some degree, the `average' watcher tends to expect one here, too. But, it didn't take me long, until I realized that this movie wasn't the `average' movie, and I don't mean that in a bad way.

In the first scene where Hugo's father was introduced, I began to realize what the character of this movie is like. This perception strengthened as more and more people showed up and exhibited their unorthodox, quirky features. Alone the weird things like `a stranger is sleeping in somebody else's truck, then the owner shows up, asks no questions and they both hit the road without even wasting a thought about what this is all about' made me laugh. The dialogs between the characters and the spontaneous and almost unreasonable turns of the plot make the movie special. It is hard to explain to someone who hasn't watched it.

Read the other comments and you'll find the opinions range from real bad to gorgeous. My advice is, be open-minded. This is not the average movie - in many aspects. Don't have too high expectations and you won't be disappointed, this movie is no blockbuster but it sure can be very entertaining if you give it a chance.

All in all, I liked the movie and if you ask me if I'll watch it again, I'd say: no - no doubt. (6/10)