Hugo Pool

Alyssa Milano plays "Hugo" an overworked pool cleaning gal, who needs to clean 44 pools in one day. That is the only normal part of this movie. The rest of it has such poor casting choices and plot lines that is is painful to watch.

Along the way she picks up her father, Malcolm McDowell, who is doing the worst Jimmy Durante impression I have ever heard, and who is trying to kick his heroin habit by shooting the heroin into a puppet that he carries around. Retarded.

Jimmy Durante, er, Malcolm, then runs into a gay hitchhiker with blue shoes, played by Sean Penn. How they talked Sean Penn into this role is beyond me. He appears to be trying to be mysterious, but comes across as a whiney gay 12-year-old.

She sends her dad (and the hitchhiker) on a mission to get some water for one of her clients, a bug-eyed jabbering Richard Lewis, who is supposedly a mafioso, but comes off as threatening as a wet paper bag.

She then picks up her mother, a gambling addict. She in turn shanghais one of Hugo's clients, a man with als (Lou Gherig's Disease) and starts carrying him around in the back of a pickup truck (wheelchair and all) so he can be her gambling good luck charm. Ridiculous.

Along the way, they run into Robert Downey Jr as a wacked out film director, but Robert puts on this outrageous fakey French accent and so he comes across like a bad Inspector Clouseau. Obnoxious.

They finally meet up with Hugo's Mom's bookie, played by Chuck "Chuckie-baby" Barris from the old GONG SHOW, who is more interested in a romp in the hay than money. Strange.

The ending is more like a documentary about ALS than a comedy, and has the totally predictable typical heart wrenching ending. That didn't even get any sympathy points from me. Lame.

The only redeming virtue would have been seeing Alyssa in the buff, and that didn't even happen. What was that director thinking? Weak.

My assessment: 2 of 10 Good only for hard-core Alyssa fans.

In "Hugo Pool" the adorable Alyssa Milano plays Hugo Dugay. A young diabetic pool cleaner who has to clean over forty pools in one day. She has some of the most eccentric David Lynch like customers, including a man (Patrick Dempsy) in a wheel chair who can only talk by a computer. Because of his kindness she can't help but fall head first, not in a pool but in love. Hugo also tries to help her crazy parents. Her father (Malcom Mcdowell) is a recovering junkie who shoots up drugs in a puppet. He calls the drug "Ring-Dang-Doo". Her mother is a compulsive gambler and owes someone money. Hugo is so kind, she even loans her mother money. "Hugo Pool" is a bizarre, colorful tragic comedy. Filled with bright blue and yellow colors throughout, it has a whacked out sense of humor that only Robert Downey Sr. could create. No wonder why his son is so crazy!

This is a little babe of a movie, the kind that comes on at 1 am and you can't turn it off. Very inventive casting. McDowell and Penn are delightful as are Moriority and Milano. Then, you also have Downey, Jr, Dempsey, and Lewis (AND Chuck Barris). A zany cast of "characters"! I was impressed with how handily Milano carried herself and led this cast.

This movie is worth seeing for two very funny scenes- Malcolm McDowell fighting with his alter-ego puppet and Sean Penn in his blue shoes. The story is very light-hearted and Patrick Dempsey as the young man with lou gehrig's disease imparts a real sensuality to the role. As usual Downey and Lewis add a weird element- but is a fun day with the pool girl, her mom and various inhabitants of the not so rich people of California.

Judging from the range of comments on Hugo Pool they seem to run the gamut. As a film, it's not the kind of thing I'd usually watch, but it did contain some rather strange characters.

Alyssa Milano in between her stints as Tony Danza's daughter in Who's The Boss and one of the Halliwell sisters in Charmed was cast in the lead by director Robert Downey, Sr. She seems to have taken complete charge of the pool cleaning company that is a family business because dad (Malcolm McDowell) is reverting to being a teenager and mom (Cathy Moriarty) can't control her gambling addiction. In fact she either has to come up with the money or sleep with the bookie.

Anyway somebody has to step up to the plate and Alyssa seems the only one likely to do so. She's got a lot of customers out there in Nevada who want to use their swimming pools because of the heat and who need them cleaned.

Anyway on her route she meets Patrick Dempsey who even with Lou Gehrig's disease is not about to miss out on all the good things in life. In fact one of only two parts of his anatomy are untouched by amytrophic lateral sclerosis, his brain and the love muscle. In fact the second has some remarkable staying power as he informs us.

Hugo Pool is the story of all these characters and the day they spend together. It's an interesting tale and maybe had it been done in a more straightforward and romantic way, I might have liked the film better.

Still it's not the fault of the cast who give some very good performances. Not mentioned by me before are Robert Downey, Jr. as an egotistical movie director and Sean Penn as a hitchhiker Malcolm McDowell picks up. Dig those sky blue shoes that Penn wears.

Hugo Pool might be your cup of tea, it wasn't quite mine though.