Hideous!

"Hideous" is the most professional Full Moon film on the surface. Its beautifully shot, very well-cast and makes use of an epic and atmospheric locale. But unfortunately it features one of the driest, most predictable and uneventful scripts. Charles Band directs in his usual cheapo style with loads of longwinded, faux-intellectual dialogue, sloooooow scenes where nothing happens and loads of stale or over-the-top acting. The incredible production value of this film should've been given to a Puppet Master film. Puppet Master 3 shows what a good budget can do for a Full Moon movie, but that film also succeeded because had Band his hands off artistically.

This is a decent watch if you want to see great low-budget cinematography or a 1940s style "old dark house" story redone in the 1990s. But its not entertaining enough or weird enough for the average audience.

Laughable, dull, overly dramatic script. Flat, one dimensional characters. The most unrealistic dialogue. People don't really talk this...imbecile! Elvina--I know she is supposed to be a dim witted blonde, but she is bad actress and cannot even act stupid. The Castle looked very good, but it is just a prop, at least the outside. Why this needed to be filmed in Romania, I will never know. The best part about this movie was putting a very attractive woman in a gorilla mask, and having her walk around in the snow topless in booty shorts w/ a gun--That is classic.

3 out of 10

A sewage treatment plant clean-up crew (where do I sign up?!) fish out a red glob "specimen," which turns out to be more than just worthless sludge, but an invaluable formula capable of reviving mutant creatures. What it's doing in the sewer is anyone's guess. After it's stolen by eccentric, unorthodox Dr. Lorca (Michael Citriniti) and his sexy, blonde always topless assistant Sheila (Jacqueline Lovell), the "owners" hire a private detective to get it back. Above characters (plus a ditsy secretary) become trapped inside Lorca's castle home and face off against four bite-size mutant monsters who attack and start killing because they want their independence (!)

Although the little killers will instantly bring to mind Band's Full Moon PUPPET MASTER series, this silly, but very fun, time waster has decent production values, cute slimy puppet monsters and a decent unknown cast (Tracie May and Lovell are especially good). Although Band has fallen into a pit of mini-monster reptitiveness, he has improved as a scriptwriter, and the witty, sarcastic and often very funny dialogue in this film proves it.

HIDEOUS! is another classic from the heyday of Director Charles Band's FULL MOON productions. It has all the right ingredients, including an opening that features two men skimming a huge raw sewage vat for "artifacts"! The fiendish Dr. Lorca (Michael Citriniti) is a collector of such "treasures", and will pay any price to procure them from the sludge. What are these precious finds? Why, freakish mutant fetuses of course.

Trouble breaks out when Lorca's rivals show up at his castle, along with the FBI. Horrible fun ensues.

BEST SCENE IN THE MOVIE: Lorca's faithful assistant, Sheila (Jacqueline Lovell) topless, in leather shorts! Wearing a go-rilla mask! With a gun! In the snow! My friends, this is why god created cinema!...

Here is the thing. You have to enjoy cheesy horror movies. To be delighted by the bizarre also helps. Hideous! is a weird movie involving collectable biological oddities preserved (mostly) in formaldehyde, a girl band in a cage rocking out, and a mutant born of noxious waste hell-bent on getting revenge or eating people or something. A quirky movie that entertained me to no end just by it's amusing oddness. The topless bandit didn't hurt either. If you like Full Moon Pictures, you will probably like this one. If the Puppet Master or Subspecies movies didn't do anything for you, then you should probably skip it. But, if you are ready to take a leap of faith and/or have a backup video at the ready, get a copy and set back on the couch for a bizarre evening.