Unforgivable

This is an "exception to the rule" movie. This movie is an ode to domestic abusers, has intention for people to sympathize with domestic abusers, and is ultimately unrealistic. It's a science-fiction movie of how an idealist would hope a scenario like this would go about this. It felt more like an episode of an Outer Limits episode, it was that outrageous. Very pro villain. If you're into watching things with an undertone like that, then watch. Otherwise, it can be triggering for people who have actually dealt with this with an ending not at all similar.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233.

A good film about an ugly subject: male-on-female domestic violence.

Here's some valuable back-story (not a spoiler): I've known Paul Hegstrom and his wife personally. According to them the film is an accurate portrayal of what an incredibly messed up man Paul Hegstrom was. Paul no longer *physically* beats his wife. However there are plenty of ways the physically abusive can continue the cycle of abuse without raising a hand. Anger issues and deep seated insecurities can be manifested in many ways than physically.

Another reviewer said, "I believe it was very courageous for the real life Paul Hegstrom to put himself out there and tell the world what he'd done. We all make mistakes, not many of us can admit it." Big assumption there. Paul Hegstrom has made a lot of money by promoting through his books and "counseling ministry" the stereotype that men are abusive and women are victims and that the inverse is rarely ever true; and where it is true the man must have done something to deserve it.

Take what good you can from this film, but don't presume that the central figure on which the film is based is a role model of genuine redemption. Unfortunately there are many physically abusive men (and although Hegstrom would deny it, women too) who overcome their physical abusiveness only to continue being equally abusive emotionally and psychologically. ALL forms of abuse are wrong and, unfortunately, this film may only perpetuate the stereotype that physical abuse is more evil than other abuses, and that only men are responsible for abuse.

This is more for Theo Robertson - but it can be for anyone with a similar viewpoint. Therapy CAN change an abusive person IF they decide they want to change. I am proof! I went into group therapy because I thought I had "a problem with my anger". I saw a lot of parallels between myself and Paul Hegstrom. I wasn't nearly as abusive, but I had the same type of characteristics, right up to the point of telling the counselor that I had "an anger problem", pretty much like Paul Hegstrom did. Just like he, himself, I learned that I had been taught that behavior, that's where it started. Knowing exactly what the problem was gave me a starting point to change it! Just like he did. The movie's excellent and I was blown away by John Ritter's portrayal. At first I didn't even believe it WAS him because I've never seen him play anything other than a humorous character. The movie's excellent!

I expected a cheesy 1990s era B or C movie coming into this, but was pleasantly surprised. This is not normally the kind of movie that I would review, but seeing as though it has had such little attention, I thought I would leave my thoughts.

This is actually a fairly solid movie that has a tangible and believable message. You actually feel connected to the characters, and I must say that Ritter performs his role masterfully. No spoilers here, but I think that this is a tight and tidy script with above decent acting that deserves some kudos for not trying to be more than it is.

This movie should not be viewed from the perspective of entertainment. It is truly a treasure tool that many may never unearth if they are only wanting to be entertained. If you look at for its acting merits or production qualities only you will miss the message that it has for trouble people. It is a true story based on the life of Paul Hegstrom. Its very difficult to think that someone could really live a life such as his. But, the truth is that there are millions of people in our world struggling with their abusive behavior not even recognizing it as such. They have not known where or how to get help. Paul Hegstrom's life did not end with this movie. After remarrying his wife Judy, they went on to build a ministry called Life Skills International based in Denver, CO. They have helped huge numbers of couples restore their marriages. His work has saved many womens lives from the abuse of their partners and he has defined abuse in terms that brings healing to troubled marriages. I know because I have just experienced a week at Life Skills, have just viewed this movie and it has been life changing!