Diabólicas

Diabolique not only lacks substance, it lacks any real effort on the part of the main players. Sharon Stone's character is completely banal. Kathy Bates pops out of nowhere to accomplish nothing except adding 30 more minutes onto this pseudo-thriller bore-fest. As the movie went on, I found myself concerned less and less with the gratuitous sex and not-so-intricate plot twists that I seriously considered going out to the lobby to play "Space Invaders."

A fascinating example of glossy Hollywood film-making. No, it's not good. But the movie is shot gorgeously, the score is sumptuous and oddly touching, and the movie is often hilariously campy. Some lame stabs are taken at making the material more relevant and serious (Kathy Bates character is a cancer survivor; lesbian overtones are rampant) but these just make it more absurd. Even if you haven't seen the original, you'll figure out the "surprise" ending a mile away. And a thriller could not possibly be plotted more carelessly. But you've got to give points to a movie that dares to make Sharon Stone a math teacher (at an all-boys school, no less!). Watch and marvel at how Stone gleefully tramples over doormat Isabella Adjani in every scene as if she's a drag-queen version of herself. Many will find this movie boring, but if you go in expecting a campy, silly good time, you won't be disappointed.

Diabolique (1996) Sharon Stone, Isabelle Adjani, Chazz Palminteri, Kathy Bates, Spalding Gray, Shirley Knight, D: Jeremiah S. Chechik. Revamped version of the 1955 French thriller, with Palimenteri as a tyrannical boys-school headmaster done in by the joined forces of his mousy wife (Adjani) and icy blonde mistress (Stone) in a murder plot they wrongfully assume is foolproof. First-rate performers can't serve justice to this diabolical debacle, which doesn't start off too bad, then goes astray. This unspeakably bad rip-off trashes the classic original with too many `oh, come on' moments, ridiculous red herrings and twists of its own, and a finale right out of a slasher flick. Bates is even gone to waste as a retired detective who's investigating the case `for something to do'. Running Time: 107 minutes and rated R for nudity and sexual content, violence, and some language. * ½

I heard some really bad things about this remake of the classic French film 'Les Diaboliques', and I would never have expected it to be a patch on the brilliant original anyway; the only reason I even bothered to watch it is because it happened to be on TV, and there happened to be nothing else on. However, after the first half hour or so; while the film indeed is nothing on the original, it seemed like it was going to end up being a decent thriller. But then the problems start; the parts where the original's character reflected on what they'd done were the best parts of the film; here they're extremely boring, and that's where the film falls down. The plot is basically the same as the original and focuses on a school which is ran by a man with a wife and a mistress; neither of which like him. They decide that killing him would be a great idea, and promptly do it. However, after disposing of the body in the school swimming pool and later having it emptied; the body isn't there! And what's worse is that the women start to find clues that he may still be alive...

It's a real shame that this film wasn't better as the two female leads are excellent. I'm not sure that I would have made it all the way to the end if it wasn't for the fact that I had the beautiful Isabelle Adjani to admire. It's not her greatest performance and she seems to be on autopilot, but she fits into the scared mousy role well. She is joined by Sharon Stone, who is brilliantly cast as Adjani's colder and more collected opposite number. Stone also looks good, which is certainly a bonus considering the shortcomings of the rest of the film. The problem with the second half of the film is really that it's not interesting, and there aren't enough other things going on to make up for it. There's a hint of a lesbian relationship between the two leads, though nothing really comes of it; definitely a big mistake considering how great they both look! Having already seen the original, the ending came as no surprise; but I'm certain that I could have guessed anyway as there soon becomes only one way that it can go. Overall, I could probably watch Isabelle Adjani all day long; but not when the film in question is this one. There's not much point bothering with this...see the original instead.

A tyrannical school principal terrorizes his fragile wife with heart disease and his cynical mistress as well (both are teachers in the couple's private school). The two women plot to kill him, but after the murder their plan starts to fall through. The body disappears, then more and more signs become apparent to prove: he is alive.

The real mystery is why anyone had to remake a classic French thriller that was imitated so many times before, why it had to be done so terribly, cast so wrongly and acted in such unsubtle way - and why anyone on earth should care the whole stuff.