Proteus

Proteus is a film that not many people like, take a look at the user rating and 95% of the reviews on here for proof. However, I am one of the film's few fans and I'll explain why. I love 70s, 80s, and 90s creature features, this was the good old times of practical effects (men in monster suits, mechanical monsters), before the age of CGI which to be honest, I think ruined creature features at least the low budget films because in a lot of creature features now, either the creatures are completely ridiculous (Sharknado, Avalanche Sharks) or like in a lot of SyFy fare, they show the creatures throughout the whole film and leave no suspense. Those three decades were the best times for these films, leaving the audience to picture to creature through most of the running time until the big reveal. I know I've been rambling, now on to the film.

Proteus has a plot that I'm a sucker for, group of people stranded in a isolated location with a mutant monster. In this case, it's drug smugglers whose boat sank and they come across an oil rig where experiments have been going on and things have went awry. Nothing special but simple and appealing to me. Craig Fairbrass is the lead here and does a pretty good job actually, he is probably most known for his villainous role in Cliffhanger but he pulls off the tough guy role well. His character also has a nice character reveal halfway through the film. The other five main actors range from mediocre to bad but don't worry, most are there for the body count. Ricco Ross from Aliens has a solid small role and does a good job as well. Horror icon Doug Bradley shows up at the end as the owner of the rig in heavy makeup and does decent, obviously was in this film because he was probably friends with Bob Keen. The pacing is fast, I have heard people call it boring but I honestly don't see it, within fifteen minutes, they are on the rig and not long after does strange things happen.

The dialogue is passable at best but it does have a great line "You're a fu**in fish with a drug habit". The make up and mechanical effects is where this film really comes to life, Proteus has very interesting monster designs and makes the film an entertaining viewing especially if you're a lover of practical creature effects. The atmosphere is also quite good, it has a murky, sticky, gross atmosphere that fits with the film. The directing is average enough, nothing great but there's some cool shots.

I really like the film, I found it a very entertaining B horror film, it's not a good film when compared to the best horror film of all time The Thing (1982) which its rips off of shamelessly but I have a blast and a fondness for it. I would recommend it only to people who are fans of creature features of the 80s and 90s where practical effects was still key. Underrated B creature feature for sure.

Right. First, lets discuss Proteus's good points...........Now that's out of the way lets discuss its BAD points. I thought films were supposed to have plots? Am I wrong, are The Silence Of The Lambs and Seven and The Usual Suspects, not films? Are films simply supposed to be a load of random images, designed to bore you rigid? If Proteus is anything to go by, then they are. The plot of Proteus is: Drug dealers go onboard an oil rig. There is a monster there. Some of them die. Some escape. That's IT. No riveting subplots, no amusing witty dialogue with which the film can redeem itself. This film is APPALLING in every conceivable way. The script writers have stolen every idea from every horror flick you ever saw, but the director has handled their material in such away as to remove every grain of suspense or horror. This film COULD have been dragged into the heady heights of mediocrity, is the actors had any talent to speak of. But the lead's (Craig Fairbrass) inability to sound anything other than a cockney wideboy, and his complete and chronic lack of charisma, throw THIS feeble idea firmly down the toilet. It turns out that the monster that is killing some of the drug dealers on board the ship is a shape shifter (that's handy guys, now you don't have to pay any money for a monster suit), invented by some scientists (supposedly brilliant, but haven't they learnt that genetic experiments in secret laboratories always end with disaster?). When the first scientist marches in and says "I am Dr Soames" in the worst German accent ever committed to screen, all that is missing is the boos and hissing from the kids in the audience. And surely, people in films like this, fighting genetic experiments gone horribly wrong are supposed to be heroic? The script and the acting are both so appallingly bad that you want every single character to die. In incredible pain. The film tries to redeem itself at the end with an explosion (wow, that was good. There was an explosion in "Leprechaun", for Christs sakes) and the appearance of the monster in its real form. It's a rubber shark. Ooh. Don't get too scared. I can't remember what happens at the end of "Proteus". But I don't care. I knew I wasn't going to care while I was watching it. To this day, I still want the people behind "Proteus" to give me an hour and a half of my life back, so I can use it for something useful, like watching grass grow in my back garden. I hope the rubber shark doesn't get me. I give this a generous 0 out of 10.

A group of drug smuglers are ship wrecked, and seek shelter on a near-by oil rig. As it turns out, it's not a oil rig at all, but a high-security genetic engineering where things went wrong, now there's monsters running around. This has to be one of the best film's I've ever seen! Excellent special effects, spectacular monsters, creative premise, a refreshingly non-routine script.....This is perfect! I want it on DVD!!!!!!!! Great twist at the end, too.

A group of heroin smugglers finds shelter on an abandoned oil rig after their ship had exploded. Soon they find that the oil rig was just a cover for biological experiments. One of the results is Charlie, a shape-shifting monster with the ability to absorb the memory of its victims.

The only really good thing about this film is the inclusion of cult actor Doug Bradley, and unfortunately he plays a very small role. The special effects and makeup are also pretty decent, but it seems like a waste to have included them in such a terrible film.

Maybe I should have caught on by the time they ripped off the "Terminator" theme song, but this was just a boring, none-too-interesting movie. The concept is good, even if not strictly original. But it is executed in a way that is quite boring and never allows us to actually care who lives or dies.

This is based on a book called 'Slimer' by Harry Adam Knight. Whilst the book is a tense, gripping and claustrophobic thriller packed with interesting characters and some truly chilling scenes, the film just stinks of a disgustingly wasted license. Another opportunity completely flushed down the drain by people not talented enough to produce and direct the home video footage of a family party.

The plot, for lack of a better word, involves drug smugglers who are shipwrecked and wind up on a deserted oil-rig where sinister experiments are taking place. After a lot of wandering around they meet a scientist with a Germanic accent which sounds nearly as realistic as Professor Tryst's in 'Dr Who:Nightmare of Eden' (which, believe me, is no great achievement). The characters are Z-grade and the film doesn't even attempt to follow the story in the original book. Before long the laughable monster (imagine a cut-price Jaws on legs) appears to sink the film to even greater depths. Doug Bradley (Pinhead in the 'Hellraiser' films) makes an appearance, but even he's wasted in a minor role as a rather cliched mad company boss.

A painful experience. That saying 'the old ones are the best' certainly applies to monster movies. Recent monster films like this waste of (very little) money aren't worth the tape they're printed on.