- Edie: Jill, my brain is like one of those old, clunky, black rotary phones. It takes forever to dial and there's no memory!
- Jill: Mom, if you're implying that I'm on the rebound, I am not. I've grieved, I have regrouped and I've reopened in a different location!
- Jill: Naomi, when you're booking guests on the show, think. You can't book an animal rights spokesperson on the same day Chef Rubeno is doing a tribute to veal.
- Edie: I remember when my husband left my name off our tenth anniversary invitations. It was so humiliating. I kept expecting the guests to say, "What are you doing here?"
- Edie: You know, my husband, Lou, would never have made dinner like this with me. To him, a stove was a clock with storage space.
- Edie: And here's another thing you always hear: "It's important to wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a car." Now, on the surface that sounds like very good advice, but what is the thinking here? Is it that if you don't wear clean underwear, the paramedics reject you and rush to save somebody whose stuff just came out of the dryer? Personally, I wear clean underwear because I want to and not because my mother told me to. So, if you happen to run over me with your luxury car, know that I'm wearing it for me, not for you.