No Telling

If you've ever driven up the I-5 from L.A. to San Francisco, you know how long, boring and unentertaining it is. Well, the very same thrills and expectations can be achieved by viewing the film NO TELLING. One major difference: the I-5 takes you somewhere, while this film goes absolutely nowhere. It centers around a scientist and his girlfriend escaping the city life for the serenity of the country. In this peaceful setting, he carries out mysterious experiments in the barn while she befriends the locals, including Alex Vine, an ecologist trying to help farmers with the dangers of pesticides. Her and Vine strike up a friendly yet non-physical relationship. Meanwhile, the mad scientist boyfriend becomes impatient with his corporate sponsor's lack of providing live specimens for study, so he decides to capture his own. I was beginning to think this was a political movie aiming to please animal rights activists, but it just didn't add up. As the film goes along, you wonder if you are on the I-5 and if an exit is in sight to release you from the boredom this film has produced. There are also these surreal scenes filmed with an odd camera filter, giving it a grainy super-8 look. Unfortunately, these scenes leave that dry taste in your mouth: What was that all about? Well, if you would like to watch a film that has no idea what it's trying to say and have a few dollars to burn, I suggest renting KRIPPENDORF'S TRIBE. If someone beat you to that beauty, then this is the film for you. On the Stevo cheese scale of Yanni to Carrot Top, Carrot Top being best, this film barely ranks a Kenny G.

"No Telling" will not appeal to the "jump out and scare you" crowd. It will be appreciated by those viewers who like some intelligence with their thrills. The story involves a researcher and his wife taking a farm property for the summer so the husband can do undisturbed animal research in a huge barn on the property. Soon their relationship begins to deteriorate, as his bizarre animal experiments escalate. The acting is mostly believable, character development is good, and some of the visuals are quite creative. The entire film is edgy and at times frightening. This is a mad scientist film that makes sense, with disturbing images that will linger for quite a long time. - MERK

I caught this movie EARLY one morning on the Independent Film Channel. Although it's not the greatest film, it is definitely thought-provoking and I thought the visuals were amazing, especially the final images were seared in my memory.

This film was made in 1991. Some may think this is stuff from Frankenstein and not give it another thought. It is now the year 2000 and these kind of animal and medical experiments are being done! After seeing this film, I felt like I had been kicked in the gut! Not many films have that power.

This is a low-budget movie that certainly has the look and feel of a low-budget movie. Marketed APPARENTLY as a "horror" movie, there is NO horror and very little even "horrific" except for the pretend cruelty to animals depicted throughout the movie.

The movie, thankfully, stars the very talented Miriam Healy-Louie, in what, sadly, appears to be her only acting credit. Yet, it was her "journey" that prompted me to watch to the end.

The movie has an unsettling atmosphere throughout, though never enough to be suspenseful or thrilling - or even creepy.

We're left anxiously awaiting what the devious husband is doing in the barn-turned-laboratory THOUGH we're given something of a preview when the wife finds research photos, at which point we can surmise that the "big reveal" is unlikely to be that earth-shattering.

There is the hint of an affair that never happens.

All this being said, I cannot recommend this movie to anyone looking for an entertaining or intriguing horror movie.

Despite a lot of the frustrated reviews this film got, I think credit should be given where appropriate. Fessenden is trying to remain true to the horror genre and in doing so, he analyzes modern problems such as pesticides, vivisection, etc. The Frankenstein story has been told many times in movies like The Island of Dr. Moreau, which was also about vivisection and tampering with nature. As far as the plot goes, it could have moved a little quicker. The acting was decent but nothing spectacular. Many ironies were pointed at throughout the movie such as people who eat meat but love their pet dogs and cats. If anything was offensive about this movie, it should have been! This whole genre itself has pointed the finger at what truly scares people and most often it is ourselves. Vivisection takes place legally, under the false notion that it gives us some kind of advancement. The fact that animal testing actually SLOWS the process of finding cures is scary. Change in the world has come from knocking down doors and exposing the ugly truth behind them and I think this movie does its job. Despite their low budget, they did it with the conviction that you don't find in most Holly(hollow)wood films.