Class of Nuke 'Em High Part II: Subhumanoid Meltdown

Before I start, I feel I should reveal that long ago I was a Troma fan. I loved movies like "The Toxic Avenger" and "Troma's War". But the last Troma movie I liked was "Tromeo & Juliet" - after that, with movies like "Citizen Toxie", "Terror Firmer", and "Poultrygeist", I just didn't find their brand of humor funny anymore. They now seem to be trying too hard, screaming in our ears "HA HA, ISN'T THIS FUNNY?" Anyway, when I got my hands on "Class Of Nuke 'Em High Part II", I decided I would give it a chance, seeing it came from Troma during the period that they were at their height.

Unfortunately, I found this older movie to be just as bad as the product Troma is currently putting out - possibly even worse. The screenplay credit lists SIX writers, which should give you some idea of what a mess the final product is. It's such a mess, that the movie often depends on a narrator to explain some of the characters and what's going on. But there's still a lot about the movie that will have you scratch your head. Every character is basically running around screaming and not much more. None of this is funny, and nothing about the movie is funny, unless you find the idea of a library named after President Nixon funny. There's also an awful music score, and a feeling that the director is trying to be grotesque in every shot.

There's one good thing in the movie. There are some stop-motion animated sequences, and they're quite good for what was a very low budget. But even if you're interested in animation, you should still skip this movie.

My review was written in March 1991 after watching the movie on video cassette.

Troma will have a hard time booking this unwarranted sequel, an incoherent mess that plays more like a trailer than a feature. Curiosity seekers in video stores represent the target audience.

Press kit ludicrously credits director Eric Louzil with discovering Kevin Costner. Actually he held back the thesp's career by hiring him for a couple of exploitation films a decade ago. Louzil demonstrates here that he has no feel for satire or comedy, absolute prerequisites for a Troma pic. Instead, most scenes consist of people running around aimlessly.

Beefcake star Brick Bronsky narrates a film-long flashback, a necessity given the lack of exposition in the live action. He's writing for the campus paper at Tromaville Institute of Technology, a combination college/nuclear power plant. Mad scientist Prof. Holt (attractive Lisa Gaye wearing piled up hairdo exaggerated from John Waters' "Hairspray") has created a race of drone subhumanoid workers, including beautiful Victoria (Leesa Rowland).

Unfortunately, they are subject to an ailment that causes them to melt into green goo. While Holt is working on the antidote, a squirrel turns into a Godzilla-type monster and stomps on some obvious miniatures.

An unfunny running gag insistas on the subhumanoids having mouths where their belly buttons should be. This is an excuse for plenty of topless footage of starlets, including porn star Trinity Loren. Production is so sloppy that a scene of bald subhumanoids has one of them portrayed by porn actres Sharon Mitchell with her normal hairdo.

Lead cast members have trouble reading lines and the dumb sound effects aren't very funny. Makeup and stop-motion effects are strictly amateurish.

I love the original Class.... and also love the original Toxic Avenger. It's a fine line, but but they crossed it and went to cheesy and annoying. The lead is VERY annoying as is most of this movie. The Toxie sequels are kind of on the same lines as this...but back on track now with Toxie 4. I wish they'd do a sequel to Class like they did with Toxie 4 and disregard the crap fest sequels. Again there's a fine line between cheesy fun and annoying crap. This is annoying crap. Lloyd hit the mark again with Toxie 4, and I wish he'd do Class the same justice!! He can do it, I have faith! The second and third of this series are no fun stinkers. There's all the stapled of great exploitation here, but it's just not fun. Lloyd please make this right!!!

Brick Bronsky stars as an intellectual muscle man who ends up protecting the girl of his dreams (Translated the only girl who will sleep with him) from corporation lackeys as well as a group of fat bikers who dominate the college. Oh and there are subhumanoids who are created and melt down with little of explanation, although the professor(Lisa Gaye) who sports a Marge Simpson haircut has a cure and being that Bronsky's girlfriend is a subhumanoid, he wants the cure. Of course education takes a backseat to non-stop bizarre set-pieces. Because last month was Halloween I did a non-stop binge on horror movies (AKA movies found in my horror section)and I saw this with the first. The first movie was made with gross out humor but also with restraint that things never got too out of control. Not so here, as Class Of Nukem High II is so bizarre and surreal that it's a non-stop assault on not only your senses but also your common sense and your physical being in general. You will not find a more weird film and yet I admit some of this went a long way, just not enough to be worth putting money down on. Reviewing this movie is hard because it's meant to be bizarre and there is tons of imagination and moments where the humor works but it's just so weird. And my taste in movies is hardly mainstream.

** Out of 4-(Fair)

Class of Nuke 'Em High Part II: Subhumanoid Meltdown (1991)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

The Troma school from the first nuclear disaster has been cleaned up and now it has been turned into a college. Wannabe reporter Roger Smith (Brick Bronsky) covers the story of what happens to the school that turned it back into a nuclear disaster as well as a giant mutant squirrel that breaks loose.

I honestly wasn't the biggest fan of the original movie but there's no question that it's a lot better than this sequel. I'm sure Troma die-hards are going to love whatever they put out but to me this sequel is just a complete waste of time. You'll notice during the opening credits that there were six people credited with the screenplay but perhaps a seventh pair of hands would have helped things.

The first film, like Troma's THE TOXIC AVENGER, was just an offensive, gory and over-the-top film that mixed horror and comedy. Say what you want about Troma's style but these early politically incorrect films were a lot of fun. It seems that the sequels to THE TOXIC AVENGER and CLASS OF NUKE 'EM HIGH were greeted with a lot of hate because they weren't as outrageous. In the years since there release it seems to be that Troma had to deliver a more "R-rated" film and that's what happened.

With that being said, there are all sorts of problems here including the film just being a complete mess and it really does seem like they had no idea what they wanted to do with the picture so they basically took the first film and re-made it but without the laughs and humor. The film features all the bad acting and bad special effects that you'd expect from Troma but it's just not funny or entertaining this time out.

What was really awful was the non-stop narration, which was just annoying after a while. It also didn't help that the characters were all forgettable and that includes the giant squirrel.