State Park

Do yourself a favor and watch a candidate for best worst movie.

Seeing this movie really drives home the fact that the type of film making I associate with the 1980's really lasted untill the mid 90's. This is a film that relies on simple plot elements, lame jokes, some female frontal nudity and a surprise guest musician. It's not really laugh out loud funny, but some scenes should at least get you to chuckle. I don't want to disclose the name of the guest musician in the movie, but his appearance really helps to drive the film over the top. It's pretty predictable but if you're in the mood for something you don't need to even think a little bit about, rent it. Heavy Metal Summer must be the Canadian release title and State Park the American. I doubt there are any differences past the title. It's filmed in Ontario and even if you hate the movie, the scenery is nice.

Whole lot of fashion victims got together and filmed a movie so terrible the refused to put it in videohound books and so 1980s that it is shocking the word ozone is not mentioned. On the other hand it has some very decently looking actresses, teases us with just enough nudity to barely..... just barely hold our attention, throws in ted nugent because...... reasons, and surrounds the whole silly affair with a lunk headed dumb plot about corporations, toxic waste, and environmental concerns. There's also a heavy metal band in the spirit of KISS camping (do people like that ever feel the need to go camping?) lessons about not judging people, some sort obstacle course race at the end and you sitting in your living room having just lost half an IQ point that you'll never recover no matter how many times you read A Brief History of Time. But the tits are nice....

"State Park" is a better-than-average late addition to the 80's B-List sex comedy genre. I prefer slashers with a similar budget personally, but it has a decent nostalgic feel. It reminded of "Memorial Valley Massacre" without the murderous cave-boy. This was released on an extraordinarily expensive VHS under the title "Heavy Metal Summer" but is currently free on Prime, Tubi, and Freevee etc under the "State Park" title. You can save a couple hundred bucks viewing it that way. Meryl Streep's doppelganger from NOES2 falls in love with an eco-terrorist in a bear costume (he's no Uncle Ted). They team up to compete in a kayak race (for 5k) while fighting an evil developer "toxic dumper", his henchmen and his kayak race ringers. There is about a combined two minutes of nudity, including a girl who becomes sexual aroused by giving out (multiple) haircuts. Two "Heavy Metalers" (who have a cool van) create a band with the actual Ted Nugent and an elderly couple. The grandma plays a chainsaw like she is in the southern hair metal band Jackyl but I think they were going for WASP. They also participate in the race. The soundtrack blatantly rips off Yello's "ooohhhh yeahhhhh" song, but it also has songs from Nugent and The obscure hair metal band TT Quick (they had Accepts vocalist for one album in 1986) . The best dialogue is between one of the "Heavy Metallers" and his summer his love interest. It's worth a watch. For fans of Screwballs, Joysticks, Last Resort, Nightmare Sisters, School Spirit, Vice Squad, and all the sequels to Meatballs, Porkys and Revenge of the Nerds. It falls firmly into the "So Bad It's Good" territory. 6.5/10.

This isn't a bad film but that doesn't mean it's good. It's really a cash grab of sorts, trying to come in on the success of other like films, especially with Rafal Zielinski's connection to Roger Corman in the 80's. There's a summer vibe energy, the actors did a fair job (many, not all), the soundtrack won't be memorable but it's fun. For its era, I'm sure the eco-warrior angle was popular but it doesn't age well at all. I'm sure there's enough of a market still for boobs and sex romps but it's definitely an eye rolling tactic. The overly horny hair stylist and the ever-pursuing horndog little brother definitely screamed 80's cringe. I would have loved to see a heavier metal scene or two, but bringing in Ted Nugent was fun.