Rockula

The glorious 80's! Wait, ROCKULA came in 1990! You can say you can smell the 80's air when watching it. All of the elements that made the 80's a weird decade are present in here: horrible clothes, a cheesy soundtrack, and songs a la Rocky Horror Picture Show.

This is by far one of the cheesiest movies ever made and that's something to say. To me, the best song on the movie is when this female vamp dances in front of the lead characters and sings "well you can say that the night is full of danger mmmh! but you know that in the night you're not a stranger , you know what I mean..." etc. Oh and the song ends with a rap.

Late 80's stuff 100%. Unique stuff! Toni Basil is great.

The fat mad with the skirt always disturbed me, and the fangs the actors used are ridiculous, those are my memories about this movie. Man I wish I taped this strange movie.

Watch it with low expectations and you might be entertained with an ultra cheesy movie. 6/10.

After producer Menahem Golan left Cannon Films, his cousin and former partner Yoram Globus struggled to keep the company alive, but awful efforts like "Rockula" doomed the company to eventually close its doors. It's a pretty cheap-looking affair, for starters, though I guess its look could have been more tacky by other filmmakers. A bigger problem with the movie is the script. There is not a lot of story here, in part due to the movie having important stuff happen offscreen or explained by characters in awkward exposition. Things are instead padded out by many musical numbers, but even if you have a love for popular music that came out around the time this movie was released (like myself), more likely than not you'll find the music in this movie to be absolutely terrible. The final stake to the heart is the fact that the vampire protagonist isn't sympathetic enough - you won't really care if he manages to lift the curse on himself or not. And his various acts in order to lift the curse, while supposed to be amusing, aren't the least bit funny. This is one of those movies where you can't help but wonder why nobody involved realized they were making a turkey.

In what has to be one of the dopiest vampire comedies of them all, Dean Cameron of "Summer School" fame stars as Ralph, a centuries old vampire who doesn't suck blood or shun the daylight or anything like that. He just doesn't die. But he's living with an additional curse: every 22 years, he loses the love of his life, Mona (the adorable Tawny Fere) to a pirate sporting a rhinestone-encrusted peg leg and wielding a hambone. Seriously. This time, he's determined to break the cycle instead of being idle. He has the help of people like Chuck (cult icon Susan Tyrrell, "Forbidden Zone"), the Axman (Bo Diddley), and a barfly (Kevin Hunter), while the death-obsessed creep Stanley (a priceless Thomas Dolby) tries to play Van Helsing.

You know with a cast like that - with another music star, Toni Basil, playing Ralphs' mom Phoebe - that this merits a viewing on that basis alone. The material is often unbelievably lame and stupid, yet at the same time it's so utterly goofy that it's hard to resist. It's often styled just like a musical, with people like Cameron, Basil, and Fere belting out numbers; and the songs can be dumb, but like the movie itself, they can be catchy and still inspire some amused chuckles. As a plot point, Ralph and his friends form a band that doesn't adhere to one style - first, they're "Rockula", then they're "Rapula". A recurring gag is to have Ralph play off a mirror image of himself (another cliche of vampire lore is dispensed with here) that regularly goads and mocks him.

Co-written and directed by Luca Bercovici ("Ghoulies"), whose brother Hilary composed the score, this does generate some good vibes, punched across by an enthusiastic cast. Cameron is a likeable hero, Fere a sexy and endearing leading lady, and Basil is a hoot as the mom. Other familiar faces like Tony Cox ("Bad Santa"), Rick Zumwalt ("Over the Top"), and Bill Brochtrup ('NYPD Blue') turn up, but it's a crying shame that Diddley doesn't get more interesting things to do.

All things considered, "Rockula" has enough quirks to qualify it for some sort of cult status.

Six out of 10.

From writer/director Luca Bercovici, the man behind "Ghoulies" and "The Granny," comes another oddball horror/comedy. Dean Cameron, best remembered from the underrated 80s teen comedy "Summer School" as Chainsaw, plays an ancient vampire cursed to watch his lady love be reborn and then killed again and again every hundred years. This curse happened after Cameron stood by and did nothing the first time she was killed. Now in modern day 1990, Cameron has determined this time around is his last chance to save her. In order to gain her trust, he decides he must first become a rock star (perfect sense, right?). Rockula is then born, becoming a wildly popular act, and he then goes on to battle with the forces of evil, which includes sleazy businessman (and real-life 80s rocker) Thomas "She Blinded Me With Science" Dolby. The story is dumb and predictable, but then again, what romcom isn't? The film is greatly helped by it's likable cast, which besides a solid performance from Cameron includes mostly a likable cast of unknowns who all do quite well, but also small supporting parts for Toni Basil, Bo Diddley, Susan Tyrell, and future musical choreographer and director Adam Shankman playing a driver. It also helps that watching the film now provides quite a bit of late 80s nostalgia, which always goes a long way for me. I'd probably have been harder on this film back in the day, but now it's 80s hair, music, and fashion are all quite entertaining in and of themselves. Overall, "Rockula" is far from being a classic 80s musical or romcom, but it's watchable and makes no pretensions of taking itself too seriously. FUN FACT: This film was the second feature film by cinematographer John Schwartzman (half-brother to Jason Schwartzman, stepson of Talia Shire, and nephew of Francis Ford Coppola), who'd later go on to earn an Oscar nomination and work on major films such as "Jurassic World," "The Amazing Spider-Man," "The Rock," and "Seabiscuit."

Gleefully cheesy movie that features Toni Basil, Thomas Dolby, Bo Diddley, and the furry eyebrows of Dean Cameron. Centuries-old vampire starts rock band to impress woman and overcome centuries-old curse. Along the way, we're treated to classic vampire rock and rap, a bit of blues, and even some Sheena-Eastonish prancing and pouting by Tawny Fere. Not a great movie by any estimation, but a good party flick.