- Grimm: When you say "near" the airport...
- Bus Driver: .48 miles.
- Grimm: Alright. When do we get there?
- Bus Driver: 22:30 hours.
- Grimm: When is that? In human time.
- Bus Driver: 10:30.
- Grimm: 10:30. Say you had to walk it...
- Bus Driver: With that injured individual?
- Grimm: Yes.
- Bus Driver: I can't give you a precise figure on that.
- Grimm: Come on! Make a guess.
- Bus Driver: 21 minutes.
- [boarding a plane at JFK]
- Flight Attendant: Do you think you're late enough?
- Grimm: Oh, you must be from around here.
- Phyllis: Honey, babe? You've got a gun - shoot them.
- Grimm: I want to, but they're fur-bearing. I'd need some kind of permit, wouldn't I?
- [to construction workers, sarcastically]
- Grimm: You know, I want to thank you guys, you could've given us help, but you've given us so much more.
- Street Sign Worker: [cheerfully] Hey, that's what we're here for, right?
- Street Barker: Nude women! Nude women
- [Grimm dressed as a clown walks by]
- Street Barker: Clowns Welcome! Clowns welcome!
- Chief Rotzinger: Listen, I've had just about enough of your comedy, clown. We're coming in through the plate glass.
- Grimm: Alright, I gotta hang-up now, because I gotta go kill everybody.
- Chief Rotzinger: All we've got going for us is the city. Our only hope is they're mired down in the same shit that you and I have to wade through every day.
- Grimm: [sobbing] The man is an animal! Ripping out phones, urinating on desks... you see what he did to Ms. Cochran's shirt? There's a scratch here, I mean, it's not deep, but... it's there.
- Phyllis: It's okay.
- Chief Rotzinger: Did he hurt anybody else? Is the strain beginning to show on him?
- Grimm: "If I could sleep ten days and nights in a rice paddy, I could certainly last in this lousy bank." This is what the animal said to us! He says to Ms. Cochran here:
- [makes humping motions at Phyllis]
- Grimm: "Baby! Up your butt with a coconut!" I think he was prepared to do it! Except I saw no coconut. He, uh, he had no coconut to my knowledge.
- Grimm: Have you looked back there? I don't think anybody is going to object.
- Bus Driver: I look back there every night friend. That's why i conduct my own affairs in a clean and hygienic fashion.
- [Hispanic woman is shouting on a street corner]
- Grimm: There must be alot of competition for that corner.
- Phyllis: It's a good thing she's not too symbolic or anything.
- Loomis: what does that mean anyway? Flores por el muerte?
- Grimm: I sure couldn't tell ya'.
- Phyllis: Aw, you know Grimm, it means flowers for the dead.
- [shoots her an angry glare]
- Loomis: Oh! We're all gonna die! We're a-a-a-ll gonna d-i-i-e!
- Chief Rotzinger: What's your name pal, what should I call ya?
- Grimm: Well, I've always liked the name chip. Would you call me chip?
- Chief Rotzinger: Alright. What was that shooting just now, Chip?
- Grimm: Oh wait! Call me skip.
- Chief Rotzinger: Okay, Skip, what was that shooting?
- Grimm: The cameras, I was shooting the cameras. They were looking at me. Quit looking at me!
- Grimm: [shoots the camera]
- Grimm: Thank you Roy. God! Alright, Roy's going to get us the duggle bag, a wheelchair and some skis out of lost luggage to cover your limp.
- Loomis: Did you give him a couple of bucks?
- Grimm: Yeah, try $1200. Scary but Roy's sixth sense told him we were in some kind of jam...
- Loomis: ESP exists, Grimm. They've proved it.
- Grimm: Yeah, you picking up anything from me right now, pal?
- Bus Driver: Please hold on to your transfer, you need a transfer to re-board. Please hold on to your transfer, you need a transfer to re-board. Please hold on to your transfer, you need a transfer to re-board...
- Hugh: [to other hostages] Can it, here comes Clarabelle.
- [Loomis is driving the car backwards]
- Phyllis: [sarcastically] Oh, we're REALLY making good time now.
- Grimm: [frustrated, to bus driver] You better get some help! You're becoming Ralph Kramden's evil twin!
- [From a shadowy alley]
- Flower Lady: Flores! Flores para los muertes! Flores! Para los muertes! Los muertes! Los muertes! Los muertes!
- Bank Guard: I said "we're closed," Bozo.
- Grimm: [dressed as a clown] : I wouldn't. And that's Mr. Bozo, okay?
- Chief Rotzinger: [not knowing he's talking to the bank robber he's been chasing] Ok, Dan. I wish there were more like you.
- Grimm: Don't say that.
- [last lines]
- Chief Rotzinger: [getting into car] Hey, we gotta commend this Skipowski... I mean, Chipowski.
- [Rotzinger pops out of car and looks in total disbelief at the plane taking off]