Citas

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Amy: Patty?
Patty Palmer: Yeah?
Amy: Do you mind if I ask you why you're selling? I mean, you've done so much to this place. You've obviously put your heart in it.
Patty Palmer: [Ironically] No, not really. It was just an investment.

Carter Hayes: [to Drake] You're a very brave and stupid man.
[Drake turned to Carter]
Carter Hayes: What are you doing, Drake? You can't come in here.
Drake Goodman: Listen, Carter. It's no big deal. I just want to go upstairs and see Patty, okay?
Carter Hayes: But you're breaking the law, Drake.
Drake Goodman: W... wait a minute.
[Carter shot Drake once and twice at his left arm. Hayes then plants a crowbar at the scene to prevent any criminal charges. Drake grunting]

James Danforth: [Here at the interrogation room. James Danforth is in jail] They're lying. These people are completely pathological. They took 1/2 a year's rent from me and they said I never paid them. They evicted me, they slandered me, they totally destroyed my credit. They physically assaulted me. They threatened my life. And now this. These people are parasites. Florence.
[sighs]
James Danforth: I am so sorry... that you were even touched by any of this. Oh, God, I'm so embarrassed. When I first met you, I was enchanted and I... I was dazzled. I'm sorry. No, it's not like I can't prove they're lying. I can prove, they're lying. It's gonna take a little time.
[sighs]
James Danforth: I'll have to take them to court, I guess, but for right now it's my word against theirs, isn't it? I don't know what these people want. You know that if they hadn't tied up my trust, I would never ask you for anything. But if the bail isn't paid, I can't get out of here, and I cannot prove to you, Sir. What I hope Florence already knows in her heart. At least I would hope that you know. Look... I'm just asking you to do... whatever it is your heart tells you to do.

Warning Cop: [Drake illegally cut off the heat and electricity to Hayes' apartment] If he decides to fight an eviction, you're already knee-deep in shit.

Drake Goodman: [Referring to the house] Whatta yuh think?
Dennis Reed: 750 grand, hunh? It's not a song - it's an opera.

Drake Goodman: [as they are house painting] You have to remember this is an investment, Patty. You can't afford to do everything at once.
Patty Palmer: It's not just an investment - it's our home.

[initiating sex with Drake]
Patty Palmer: I wish I had spurs.

[In court in the lawsuit hearing, the Honorable Judge Mitchell Black hands over the case file to the bailiff. And return it to the attorney Stephanie MacDonald]
Judge Mitchell Black: In answer to your suit against him, Mr. Hayes has submitted to the court affidavits A and B confirming plaintive's attempted unlawful eviction of a Mr. Hayes on the 15th of last May.
Drake Goodman: [Talk quietly to Stephanie] No, I turned his gas and electricity off. There's a policeman...
Stephanie MacDonald: Your Honor, my client and I...
Judge Mitchell Black: Miss MacDonald, I assume you have received these documents?
Stephanie MacDonald: Yes, I have just received them, Your Honor. I think there's been a mix up.
Judge Mitchell Black: I think the law is quite clear on this point, don't you? Mr. Hayes is entitled to a reduction of rent due to uninhabitability caused by Mr. Goodman's misguided attempt to force him from the premises by disconnecting his utilities.
[the decision]
Judge Mitchell Black: Court rules for the defendant, Carter Hayes. Let the records show that according to the lease, Mr. Hayes's legal cost to be paid by the plaintiff.
Stephanie MacDonald: Your Honor, I would like to ask for a 10-minute postponement.
Judge Mitchell Black: Miss MacDonald, I see you have other cases before this court today. I hope you're better prepared for them. I assumed you'll wanna cooperate with the bench now in keeping things moving?
Stephanie MacDonald: Yes, sir.
[Gavel thuds. Drakes explains to Patty]
Drake Goodman: That's it?

Sergeant Bobby Amato: Look, I don't have his name here. He's still probably at the 3rd Street Station. Gas stove, microwave, disposal, dishwasher, two sinks, one toilet?
[Patty figures it out]
Sergeant Bobby Amato: Um, about how many electrical fixtures would you guess?
Patty Palmer: I don't know.
Sergeant Bobby Amato: Okay, well, it's not important but, uh, you know, we will need it for your insurance. We're gonna need a complete list.
Patty Palmer: Our insurance was canceled.
[Phone rings. Sergeant Amato pick up and answer the phone]
Sergeant Bobby Amato: Yeah.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: [Baker over phone] Patricia Palmer still with you?
Sergeant Bobby Amato: Yeah, she's right here.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: [Baker on the phone] I'd like to speak with her.
Sergeant Bobby Amato: Yeah, sure. Come on in.
[It's from Lieutenant Lou Baker]
Sergeant Bobby Amato: Uh, that's my boss.
[Lieutenant Lou Baker has arrived to see Patty Palmer]
Lieutenant Lou Baker: I recognized the name on the report.
[Miss Palmer see]
Sergeant Bobby Amato: You two know each other?
Lieutenant Lou Baker: Bobby, why don't you take these upstairs, see if we can get a running start on where this cretin might fence the appliances.
Sergeant Bobby Amato: Sure thing, Lieutenant.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: Thank you.
[Lieutenant Baker is going to have a word with Miss Palmer]
Lieutenant Lou Baker: I guess you're wishing now you'd rented to the Black man.
Patty Palmer: You never brought back your application.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: Oh, I brought it back.
Patty Palmer: I never got it.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: Uh-huh. The Porsche in your garage was leased. Hayes made one payment, put stolen plates on it. They've been looking for him ever since. I sent a tow to haul away what's left of It.
Patty Palmer: He shot my boyfriend.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: I know. You're lucky he didn't kill him. This is a sick individual, Miss Palmer. Be grateful he's out of your life. Right now, you don't mean a thing to him. Leave it that way. If he's gonna get caught, we'll capture him.
Patty Palmer: He shot my boyfriend. My boyfriend is in the hospital. He destroyed our property. There are lawsuits, there's the foreclosure. I had a miscarriage. And you're telling me to forget about him?
Lieutenant Lou Baker: Next time, maybe he ain't so lucky. Next time, maybe he runs into the man who blows his brains out.
Patty Palmer: Next time?
Lieutenant Lou Baker: Let him go, Miss Palmer.
[Let him go]

Desk Clerk Victor: Yes, Andre. I need it delivered immediately to room 1550.
[Patty Palmer has arrived]
Patty Palmer: Excuse me.
[Give him a minute]
Desk Clerk Victor: Yes. Thank you.
[Hang up the phone]
Patty Palmer: Do you have someone named Carter Hayes staying here?
Desk Clerk Victor: Hayes? I'll check.
[Keyboard clacks]
Desk Clerk Victor: No, I'm sorry. We don't.
Patty Palmer: How about Goodman? Drake Goodman.
Desk Clerk Victor: Goodman? I'll check.
[Keyboard clacks. Beeps]
Desk Clerk Victor: We do, but I see that he's out.
Patty Palmer: Oh. Well, um...
[Got a wallet]
Patty Palmer: He left this in the store where I work. Do you think you can give it to him?
Desk Clerk Victor: Certainly. Would you care to leave your name and number?
Patty Palmer: No, thank you.
[Phone rings. Victor answered]
Desk Clerk Victor: Front Desk Victor.

Stephanie MacDonald: Why didn't you tell me you tried to force him out?
Drake Goodman: I didn't think it mattered.
Stephanie MacDonald: You set us back months.
Drake Goodman: He's lying!
Stephanie MacDonald: This guy has been playing you like a piano concerto.
Drake Goodman: Me? What about you? I got a guy livin' in my building who hasn't paid one cent! Not only can't you get him out, but now I owe him money?
Stephanie MacDonald: Maybe you'd like to retain another attorney.
[Stephanie McDonald walks away. And Patty Palmer has to stop her and give her a minute to talk]
Patty Palmer: Stephanie.
[sighs]
Patty Palmer: Please don't quit. Drake's been under a lot of pressure. The bank is threatening to foreclose on us.
Stephanie MacDonald: This isn't a moral question, Patricia. Morally, you're right. You win. Big deal. This is a game and the object of the game is to get Hayes out of your building before he destroys your lives. He knows you're gonna get him out eventually. He's just trying stay there as long as he can.
Patty Palmer: Why?
Stephanie MacDonald: I don't know! Because it's possible. Because he's evil. What difference does it make? It's nothing personal. God forbid he ever makes it personal.

Lieutenant Lou Baker: I guess you're wishing now you'd rented to the Black man.

Hotel Front Office Manager Neil Spisak: Mr. Goodman, may I please have a word with you? I'm sorry to trouble you, sir, but we seem to be having a problem with your credit card.
Carter Hayes: Really? What kind of problem? Well, listen, why don't I just write you a check, take care of things until we get this straightened out?
Hotel Front Office Manager Neil Spisak: I don't... That wouldn't be acceptable. I'm sorry. We called your bank, as a backup, you know.
Carter Hayes: Yeah.
Hotel Front Office Manager Neil Spisak: They said that your account has been frozen.
Carter Hayes: Well, I assumed you got the necessary approval when I checked in.
Hotel Front Office Manager Neil Spisak: Well, yes, but when a customer charges over $100 to their room, we generally run a card again for approval and that's when we discovered the problem.
Carter Hayes: Right, except I didn't charge anything to my room.
Hotel Front Office Manager Neil Spisak: It's probably a clerical error on their part but we just have to look out for ourselves, you understand?
Carter Hayes: I didn't charge anything to my room!
Hotel Front Office Manager Neil Spisak: Well, maybe it was your wife.
Carter Hayes: My what?

Carter Hayes: Mr. Palmer, right?
Drake Goodman: Goodman. Drake Goodman.
Carter Hayes: Sorry. Very good.
Drake Goodman: Hi.
Carter Hayes: Hi, I'm Carter Hayes. I stopped by a couple weeks ago and spoke with your wife about renting the studio apartment.
Drake Goodman: My--my girlfriend.
Carter Hayes: Oh, your girlfriend? Oh sorry. We don't wanna rush anything, do we? I assume it's still available?
Drake Goodman: Yes, it is. Um..
Carter Hayes: Is Patty here? I don't wanna keep you if you've got...
Drake Goodman: No, it's no problem. You know, I'm taking care of the rentals. Did she show you the apartment?
Carter Hayes: No. No, I'd like to take a look at it, if I might.
Drake Goodman: Oh, good. Yeah, we can go this way.
Carter Hayes: Listen, is it all right if I leave my car here?
Drake Goodman: Yeah.
Carter Hayes: Thanks.
[Overlooking the studio apartment]
Carter Hayes: boy, you've done a beautiful job here.
Drake Goodman: Thank you. It's taken just about every cent we've got.
Carter Hayes: Yeah. I'll bet. I love these old victorians. My grandmother, my father's mother, I guess it was, grew up in a mansion in Pacific Heights.
Drake Goodman: Oh, yeah? Whereabouts?
Carter Hayes: Uh, Broadway and, uh.. I don't know. I don't know. They tore it down. I'd never actually been there but I've seen the photographs, you know, and I'd heard all the stories. Boy, can you imagine what the piece of real estate would be worth today, huh?
Drake Goodman: Well, you know, we all gotta start somewhere.
Carter Hayes: Yeah. Is this your first place?
Drake Goodman: Yes it is.
Carter Hayes: You and your, uh, girlfriend went in on it together?
Drake Goodman: Yeah. You know, partners.
Carter Hayes: Yeah. It's hard, isn't it?
Drake Goodman: Well, it's the first time we've lived together. It's working, though. Not to mention the rent we're saving.
Carter Hayes: When can I move in, Drake?
Drake Goodman: Oh, well, I just have to have you fill out an application...
Carter Hayes: You know I'd like to, if you don't mind, pay you the first six months in advance.
Drake Goodman: Right. I still need you to get this...
Carter Hayes: I may even have it on me. Uh, the reason for the six months is I travel a lot in my business and I'm in and out of the country so I can't always guarantee that I'll be here first of the month. Damn. I've only got about $2,900 on me. How about if I pay you 2,000 now and then of course, I could pay you the rest next week. Or I could wire you the entire amount, which would be 70...
Drake Goodman: 7,500.
Carter Hayes: 7,500 from my bank at San Antonio.
Drake Goodman: Um, you know, I'm sorry, I still have to get this application filled out. It's just a formality.
Carter Hayes: Yeah. It's a credit history, that sort of thing.
Drake Goodman: Yeah. Um..Is there a problem?
Carter Hayes: Well, no. It's just that I work for a private trust and the trust pays me my expenses and my salary. They pay my bank cards, my room and board, et cetera. So I don't really have that traditional kind of credit. You understand?
Drake Goodman: Um, could I verify the trust?
Carter Hayes: Well, see, I'm bound by client confidentiality. I mean, they're a prominent family, and they've got interests worldwide. Boy, believe me, I would if I could. Let me think. I'm always running into this problem, you know? Do you have a phone?
Drake Goodman: Yeah upstairs.

Carter Hayes: You know, better yet, I'll tell you what. Why don't I give you some local personal references? Or you can call the trust private attorney, Bennett Fidlow.
Drake Goodman: Yeah, okay. A previous landlord.
Carter Hayes: [pulls out a pen] I got it. Yeah, I hope you don't mind calling out of town. I don't think you'll have a problem.

Ann Miller: He's far and away the most intelligent man I've ever met. He's not your type. Oh, it's okay to want him. It's a free country. I could tell, you know? When I saw you up in Frisco. I could tell you had a thing for him.
Patty Palmer: Are you his type?
Ann Miller: What do you think?
Patty Palmer: I think you're sitting here waiting for him and meanwhile, he's blown you off and it's pretty pathetic.
Ann Miller: You don't even know him. You don't even know his real name. It isn't Hayes, you know. It isn't Carter Hayes. Carter Hayes is the stupid old man who owned this condo. He tried to throw us out, he sent his tough guys after us to rough us up. But now look who's here and look who's not. You're the pathetic one. And he didn't blow me off. He sent me a postcard just yesterday. Read it. He's not like anyone else. He does whatever he wants. We understand each other. That's what we have. You? You're just chasing a shadow.

Drake Goodman: I don't care if he comes through with the money now or not. I just want him out. No harm, no foul. He leaves right away, he doesn't owe us anything. Goodbye. Good riddance.
[the intercom buzzes]
Patty Palmer: Now what?
Drake Goodman: Jesus.
[Answers the intercom]
Drake Goodman: Yes, who is it?
Warning Cop: San Francisco Police Department.
Drake Goodman: They were doing construction at two-fucking-30 in the morning! They won't answer the door! I can't use my key to get in, because they've changed all the fucking locks!
Warning Cop: I don't appreciate foul language, sir.
Carter Hayes: Officer, may I say something? My friend is a sculptor, and he was working a little late last night. I'm very sorry if he kept anyone up.
Drake Goodman: Bullshit!
Warning Cop: You back off!
Drake Goodman: Look, he hasn't even paid his rent! Ask him!
Carter Hayes: Apparently, there has been a mix up in the wire transfer of my money to San Francisco, I'm sorry.
Drake Goodman: They've moved in there, they've changed all the locks, so I can't see what he and his little buddy are destroying.
Carter Hayes: I've signed the lease.
Drake Goodman: He hasn't paid the rent! Or even a security fucking deposit!
Patty Palmer: Drake, take it easy.
Drake Goodman: Look, I can handle this, Patty!
Patty Palmer: Fine.
Carter Hayes: Listen, listen, listen. I understand why Mr Goodman is upset. His bank lost my money, I was out of town. The man's caught in the middle. I don't even wanna file a complaint. But I don't understand why he wouldn't wanna give me the opportunity to straighten things out, unless he's found somebody he'd rather rent to.
Drake Goodman: This is such bullshit!
Patty Palmer: Oh, come on!
Warning Cop: Look, let's take a walk, come on. Now!
Drake Goodman: I just want the guy to pay his rent!
Warning Cop: Come on. Cool it down.
Drake Goodman: What? What?
Warning Cop: What you did is against the law
Carter Hayes: Well my other tenants are-...
Carter Hayes: Listen, Patty. I'm truly sorry it's come to this. The bank assures me that the money's been sent. I don't think Drake...
Patty Palmer: I'd like you to not talk to me.
Warning Cop: Listen to me. Listen.
Drake Goodman: I just want the guy the hell out of my house!
Warning Cop: Well, then you better listen to me, or he's gonna be so far up your butt, you're gonna be pickin' him out your nose. Now, I want you to turn back on all the heat and all the power to this man's apartment. You apologize, and you do not, and I emphasize, do not harass him again. Then go out and get yourself a lawyer. Because according to California Civil Code, Mr. Hayes can sue you for this stunt you just pulled. And most likely, he'll win.
Drake Goodman: He doesn't even have a right to be in the apartment! He hasn't paid the rent!
Warning Cop: Are you listening to me? Are you listening to me? If he's in, he's got rights. That's how it works. And I'll tell you something else, friend. If he decides to fight an eviction, you're already knee-deep in shit. Get a lawyer.

[talking on the phone]
Drake Goodman: No, thank you. I've left my number before and Mr Fidlow has never returned my phone call.
Woman on phone: What was that name again?
Drake Goodman: Carter Hayes. H-A-Y-E-S. I've left you all this information before!
Woman on phone: Well, I'm sorry, sir. We do not have a client by that name.
Drake Goodman: Well, maybe, maybe you can explain to me how it is Mr. Fidlow doesn't know a Carter Hayes when Mr. Hayes, who's locked himself into my goddamn apartment and hasn't paid me any rent, keeps telling me to call his goddamn attorney, Bennett Fidlow in San fucking Antonio, Texas! Hello? Hello!
[slams the phone]

Drake Goodman: No, no, no, Mr. Hayes listed Mr. Fidlow as a personal reference on a rental application.
Woman on phone: I'm sorry. What was that name again?
Drake Goodman: Carter Hayes.
Woman on phone: Hayes. Mr. Fidlow only handles...
Drake Goodman: Ma'am, ma'am. Yes, Mr. Hayes told me that it was a private family trust. This is just a personal reference.
Woman on phone: Yes, well, he'll have to give you that information himself.
Drake Goodman: I see, well, when Mr. Fidlow gets the time could you please have him call me?
Woman on phone: I will. Goodbye.
Ann Miller: No, no. He was a model tenant. Always paid his rent on time, left the unit spotlessly clean. In fact, I-I think I gave him his whole security deposit back. That was the first time I've ever done that.
Drake Goodman: So you can definitely recommend Mr. Hayes?
Ann Miller: I can recommend him to you with no hesitation at all.
Drake Goodman: Thank you. I'd like to thank you for your time.
Ann Miller: Listen, um, just out of curiosity, uh, where has Carter moved to, Mister uh... Mister...
Drake Goodman: Goodman.
Ann Miller: Mr Goodman. Just--just out of curiosity. Do you --do you have that address?

Patty Palmer: What about Mr Baker?
Drake Goodman: What about him?
Patty Palmer: He was here first.
Drake Goodman: Well, where's his application? Maybe he's one of those minority scam artists.
Patty Palmer: What are you talking about?
Drake Goodman: They try to get you worried about discrimination so you don't check their credit.
Patty Palmer: That's not what happened.
Drake Goodman: Some of these people can be pretty shrewd, Patty.
Patty Palmer: How would you know?
Drake Goodman: It's not a racial thing. It's just common sense. Look, I spoke to the woman at the bank and she told me that Carter Hayes's income is over $200,000 a year. I've checked him out.
Patty Palmer: Okay, fine. Then let's rent to him, if you say he's okay.
Drake Goodman: He's a nice guy. You met him.
Patty Palmer: When?
Drake Goodman: Couple of weeks ago. He said he came by and talked to you.
Patty Palmer: I don't think so.
Drake Goodman: He knew your name. Why would he say he talked to you if he hadn't?
Patty Palmer: I don't know.
Drake Goodman: Look, Patty, I'm just taking up the slack here. I mean, you're worried about the paint and the wallpaper. Somebody's gotta rent these two apartments so we can make next month's mortgage.
Patty Palmer: You're losing your sense of humor.
Drake Goodman: No, I'm not.
Patty Palmer: Yes, you are. You're becoming a crotchety old man with his building. Next thing I know, you're gonna have hair growing out of weird parts of your face and be wandering around with a toilet plunger and griping about property taxes and people who take long showers.
Drake Goodman: No, I won't.
Patty Palmer: Yes, you will.
Drake Goodman: [chuckling] No I won't.
[He hugs her]
Drake Goodman: you don't think I can handle this?
Patty Palmer: Yes, I do.

[Patty and Drake are home. In the garage, there were Porsche messed around. Patty press button clicks and the music stops the radio that turned off. Drake is jealous. Wood clatters]
Patty Palmer: Drake!
Drake Goodman: Son of a bitch!
Patty Palmer: Stop it!
[Drake has been gone mad. Clattering and clanging]
Patty Palmer: Drake, stop! Stop it, Drake!
Drake Goodman: What? What?
Patty Palmer: Damn it!
Patty Palmer: What is happening to you?
Drake Goodman: I want him out of here!
[Patty sobs in tears. Patty slams the door shut in the car. And she heads straight upstairs to her room. Metal clunks. Drake breathes heavily]

Bill: [Last line] I know you love it, but we're talking about $900,000.
Amy: I bet we can offer them an 850 or 825.
Bill: Oh. Oh, that's all, okay. Um. What if we don't qualify for a bank loan?
Amy: [Amy chuckles] We will. First thing I'm gonna do is take these curtains off these windows.
Bill: Can we talk about the purchase price before you redesign the entire place?
Amy: Well, I just have so many ideas.
[Bill clears throat]
Amy: It'll be okay.
Bill: It'll be okay, huh? Well, as long as you say so.
Amy: I know so.

Stephanie MacDonald: He's taken possession. So, whether he signed a lease, or whether he paid you money or not, he's legally your tenant now. And he's protected by laws that say you have to go to court and prove that he deserves to be evicted. However, the net effect of these laws is to protect any pointy-headed cretin who moves into your property, and slowly drives you bankrupt and insane.
Patty Palmer: So, what do we do?
Stephanie MacDonald: I can take on the case.
Stephanie MacDonald: What are our chances of winning?
Stephanie MacDonald: No guarantees. My base fee for an uncontested case is $250. We charge $90 an hour thereafter, and a minimum of $360 for any court appearances.
Patty Palmer: How long will it take?
Stephanie MacDonald: Uncontested, six to eight weeks. If he contests? Six to eight months, worst case. And then you have to go after him in court again to collect.
Drake Goodman: Wouldn't it just be a lot easier to throw him out?
Stephanie MacDonald: Easy and wrong. This is the process, folks. There aren't any shortcuts. I need a description of Hayes for Mr. Revilla, my process server, and I need the key to your front door.

Loan Officer: The only way I could swing it is if you deposit $5,800 with us. If you do that, I can give you $5,000. That's what we call a secured loan. You'll probably get the money in a couple of days. No qualifying.
Patty Palmer: If I had $5,800, I wouldn't need to borrow anything.
Loan Officer: Right. Well, I guess we won't be doing any business, then.
Patty Palmer: Wait a minute. You're ad in the yellow pages. Your ad said that you give high risk loans. That you specialize in giving loans to people who can't get a loan any place else.
Loan Officer: Lady, don't believe everything you read, okay? I've gone through the figures three times. I cannot do it.
Patty Palmer: All I'm asking for is $5,000 to get us through the next few months.
Loan Officer: You have a 750,000 piece of property here. Sell your building and keep the change.
Patty Palmer: I can't sell the building.
Woman: Is she done yet?
Loan Officer: She's done.

Lieutenant Lou Baker: Just got separated from my wife. I'm hell in the kitchen. I've been thinking about taking a cooking class or something, I don't know.
Toshio Watanabe: Excuse me. We will take the apartment.
Patty Palmer: Oh, great! Okay.
Toshio Watanabe: We would like to start moving in by tomorrow.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: Pardon me. 1,000 a month?
Patty Palmer: Yeah. Oh, and a $1,5000 security deposit.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: I can handle that.
Patty Palmer: I'll have the key for you in the morning, then.
Toshio Watanabe: Thank you.
Patty Palmer: Thank you, Mr Watanabe. So long, Mrs Watanabe. Bye-bye.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: Any chance I could pay you half now, half at the end of the month? I'm in this 90-day CD and...
Patty Palmer: We'll have to check your credit.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: No sweat. My credits solid. Actually, I've been looking to buy a place but I haven't found anything I like for the price, you know?
Patty Palmer: [hands him a form] Mm-hmm. here you go.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: I said my credit is solid.
Patty Palmer: Well, you still have to fill out an application and Drake'll wanna check it out.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: Understand something. I want this apartment. My credit is good. I don't want to lose it because...
Patty Palmer: Obviously, you're at the top of the list, Mr Baker. You're the first person who's seen the place.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: [chuckles] Yeah. Okay. Thank you.
Patty Palmer: You're welcome.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: Uh, Miss Palmer?
Patty Palmer: Yeah?
Lieutenant Lou Baker: I'm sorry. I just get the runaround so much, you know.
Patty Palmer: That's okay. No sweat.
Lieutenant Lou Baker: I'll get this back to you as soon as I can.
Patty Palmer: Okay.

Stephanie MacDonald: There's nothing you can do until the arraignment tomorrow morning. He needs a criminal law specialist, Patricia. I'm out of my depth here. I can recommend somebody. My guess is that Hayes doesn't care about the criminal charges. He's gonna go after Drake with a civil suit. This is what he wanted. Game's over, Drake loses. Can I give you a ride home?
Patty Palmer: What does this do to the eviction?
Stephanie MacDonald: Ironically, nothing. We'll get him out. Of course, Hayes might get the building, before he's through, because of the civil suit. It's lucky you're not married, otherwise Drake would pull you down with him.
Patty Palmer: I had a miscarriage last night.
Stephanie MacDonald: I know. I need to know where Drake will be staying.
Patty Palmer: He'll be at home with me.
Stephanie MacDonald: Patty, Hayes is asking for a temporary restraining order because of the assault. Drake can come within 500 feet of the building, as long as Hayes is there.
Patty Palmer: This is our home. This is all happening to us in our home.
Stephanie MacDonald: I know.

District Attorney Henry: We have no case because Hayes was technically within his right to protect himself. I mean, Goodman threatens Hayes, who, fearing for his life, justifiably, based upon the previous assault complaint, defends himself.
Stephanie MacDonald: You're the DA, Henry. Make a case! There's a history of mutual animosity here.
District Attorney Henry: There's a history of Goodman assaulting Hayes. I can make a case but I can't win it. What's the point?
Stephanie MacDonald: 'Cause they're a nice couple.
District Attorney Henry: Right?
Stephanie MacDonald: Well, at least the default judgment came through today. We're evicting the son of a bitch tomorrow.

Bennett Fidlow: How can I help ya?
Patty Palmer: Um, yeah, you represent Charles and James Danforth?
Bennett Fidlow: I'm an executor of a family trust, a special conservatorship benefiting James Danforth, but this should not be confused with being his attorney, whatever he's told you.
Patty Palmer: Mr. Fidlow are you aware...
Bennett Fidlow: And furthermore, whatever James has done, the trust cannot be touched and neither i, nor his brother, can or will be held accountable for his activities.
Patty Palmer: You mean his family pays him to stay away?
Bennett Fidlow: I'm afraid I can't comment on that.
Patty Palmer: Well, where is he now?
Bennett Fidlow: Look, you just best let this sleeping dog lie.
Patty Palmer: Where...
Bennett Fidlow: Lady. He's been out of control for a long time.
Patty Palmer: Well, maybe I should just go to his brother directly.
Bennett Fidlow: You can't touch him, Miss Palmer. James has no assets, the trust cannot be attached and he is legally severed from his family!
Patty Palmer: I don't want money, Mr Fidlow. I just wanna know where he is.
Bennett Fidlow: He doesn't tell me where he is. Ever.
Patty Palmer: Well, then tell me where he's been.

Drake Goodman: Hello.
Patty Palmer: Oh, good. I'm so glad you're home.
Drake Goodman: You're not. where are you? You went after him, didn't you?
Patty Palmer: Absolutely. Look, I don't have much time and I need you to help me, okay? Call and cancel all your credit cards. Hayes is using duplicates with your name on it.
Drake Goodman: [scoffs] Great.
Patty Palmer: Then call the bank and put a hold on our checking account.
Drake Goodman: Why?
Patty Palmer: There's a 24-hour hotline. I think the numbers on top of...
Drake Goodman: On top of the last bank statement, I know. What are you doing?
Patty Palmer: Something that's gonna make us feel really good.
Drake Goodman: Well, be careful.
Patty Palmer: I'll be back tonight. Bye.

Gary: Hello, room service. Gary speaking.
Patty Palmer: Hi, this is Mrs Goodman in room 1031.
Gary: Yes?
Patty Palmer: Yeah, my husband and I would like to have a small dinner party up here tonight and charge it to the room.
Gary: Of course. What would you like?
Patty Palmer: Um, let's see, I'd like to have a vichyssoise.
Gary: A vichyssoise.
Patty Palmer: And Caesar salad.
Gary: Caesar salad.
Patty Palmer: And filet mignon.
Gary: Filet mignon.
Patty Palmer: Oh, and what do you have for dessert? Do you have crème brûlée?
Gary: Of course we do, yes, with raspberry sauce.
Patty Palmer: Oh, that sounds really good.
Gary: Yes, very good. What beverage would you like?
Patty Palmer: Well, we'll need a full bar.
Gary: Full bar?
Patty Palmer: And coffee with the dessert.
Gary: Of course, and how many people is this for?
Patty Palmer: 18.
Gary: 18?
Patty Palmer: Mm-hm.
Gary: Very good.
Patty Palmer: How long will that be?
Gary: At least two hours.
Patty Palmer: Two hours? Can you put a rush on it?
Gary: Oh, we try. We try, yes.
Patty Palmer: Great. By the way, it's our anniversary today, and my husband would like to send a bottle of champagne to everybody staying on the 10th floor.
Gary: Everyone on the 10th floor?
Patty Palmer: Mm.
Gary: That's very generous.
Patty Palmer: Well, that's the kind of man that he is. Thank you.

Exterminator: The San Francisco roach is generally German, or Oriental in derivation. With your Krauts edging out your rice grinders in the overall disgustingness factor. I think these were American.
Drake Goodman: How are we supposed to pay for this? We're 1,100 dollars short this month!
Patty Palmer: Don't yell at me! If we don't do it, MacDonald says we lose the eviction. We can't afford that, either. Maybe we should borrow money for this.
Drake Goodman: No! No, we're not gonna borrow money.
Patty Palmer: This is stupid! We should just let this building go!
Drake Goodman: Oh, okay. Fine! You can do whatever you want. I'm not letting this jerk chase me out of my own property.
Exterminator: It's that promiscuity factor that makes it hard to hammer down. I'll be using your chlorpyrifos and pyrethrin in a high pressure injection system. I've also got the RSU.
Drake Goodman: What's that?
Exterminator: Roach Sucking Unit. it's just a backup.
[Opens the kitchen sink and sees them crawling everywhere]
Exterminator: Oh.
[He starts spraying them]
Exterminator: They're coming in from next door! Oh, shit!
[They crawl out of the kitchen sink and he starts stomping on them]
Exterminator: Call reinforcements. Holy shit.
[Uses the RSU]
Exterminator: They're probably camped out in the other apartment. If we go at it from over there, we have a better chance of containment.
Drake Goodman: What if we can't?
Exterminator: Get a whole bunch of little tiny leashes and pretend they're pets!

[Drake is drinking and getting drunk]
Patty Palmer: Drake? Drake! Drake?
Drake Goodman: What?
Patty Palmer: Oh, god? I almost ran over that guy from downstairs. I thought maybe you gotten in a fight with him.
Drake Goodman: They've got our cat down there. And there, uh, breeding roaches. Apparently, screwing people over is just a job to them.
Patty Palmer: What are you talking about?
Drake Goodman: Isn't that the best? I mean, our life is coming apart and this son of a bitch thinks it's business as usual.
Patty Palmer: Oh, Drake.
Drake Goodman: This is what he does for a living.
Patty Palmer: You're drunk.
Drake Goodman: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Patty Palmer: What?
Drake Goodman: You'll like this, too.
[Shows her a piece of paper]
Drake Goodman: This was under the door when I came in. It's from the Watanabe's.

Greg: Hey, is there something you wanna tell me, man?
Carter Hayes: What do you mean?
Greg: I think there's a lot of stuff you're not telling me, Carter.
Carter Hayes: I'm sure there are a lot of things I'm not telling you.
Greg: Your girlfriend came by the other day.
Carter Hayes: So?
Greg: So she told me that the two of you made 250 grand on a real estate deal like this. She didn't see any of it!
Carter Hayes: She's mistaken. She's a useless bitch anyway. She was paid. She didn't even have to do anything. I had the whole thing wired. Listen to me and listen to me carefully, okay? This is my business and I'm very good at it, Greg.
Greg: Yeah?
Carter Hayes: Yeah.
Greg: Well, then how come we're getting evicted so soon? You said, man, that wasn't gonna happen.
Carter Hayes: It's a non issue. I told you from the fucking get-go! There was gonna be certain risks involved and you have to be flexible!
Greg: Yeah, well don't bullshit me, Carter!
Carter Hayes: What're you talking about?
Greg: Look, I just want you to know that I know, man. If you try and cut me out, man...
Carter Hayes: What, Greg?
Greg: Just don't do it!
Carter Hayes: Or what?
[Carter shoves him and beats him senseless]

Dennis Reed: All right, all right. Let me just guess what they said. "As much as we'd like to help you, we just can't afford to string out the loan. It wouldn't be fair to us, and it wouldn't be fair to you," right?
Drake Goodman: Right.
Dennis Reed: They tell you the bank is pulling for you. That no one wants to foreclose a loan. They tell you that? That's horsepucky. Banker speak.
Drake Goodman: So, what--what do we do now, Reed?
Dennis Reed: I can loan you maybe a grand, but that's not gonna help. It's not gonna do it. There are alternative lenders, you know. High interest houses that specialize in burying you.
Patty Palmer: "Let a smile be your umbrella."
Drake Goodman: Great
Patty Palmer: I could start riding again.
Drake Goodman: Oh, that's a good idea, Patty. You're pregnant with a blown knee. You seriously think that you could ride a horse in compet...
Dennis Reed: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Are you pregnant?
Patty Palmer: My knee is fine and I don't have to be pregnant.
Drake Goodman: Look, I'm not going to lose you, I'm not going to lose our child and I'm not going to lose our house.
Patty Palmer: Well, I guess we can just stop worrying now.

Drake Goodman: Who--who are you?
Greg: Who are you?
Drake Goodman: I'm the landlord.
Greg: Oh. Carter went to Seattle on business. He'll be back on Friday.
Drake Goodman: Carter was supposed to wire me some money for his rent and his security deposit, it never came.
Greg: Look, I don't know anything about that. You're gonna have to talk to Carter, okay?
Drake Goodman: What's your name?
Greg: Greg.
Drake Goodman: Greg, listen. If you speak to Carter before Friday, would you please tell him that he's got this problem with his rent and his security deposit...
Greg: Yeah, well, that sounds like your problem. Okay?
Drake Goodman: Ask him to call me with the transaction numbers or give them to you to give to me so we can straighten this out.
Greg: Yeah. I'll be sure to give him the message.

Bank Teller: I'm sorry, but we have no record of a wire transfer to your account, Mr Goodman.
Drake Goodman: My tenant assured me the money would be wired today. Bank of Texas. 7,500 dollars. You know, maybe the bank lost the money or got credited to the wrong account?
Bank Teller: It's doubtful, but I'd need the transaction numbers to tell you anything more. It is possible he never wired the money, Mr Goodman. For his own reasons.
Drake Goodman: Look, please, just check the account one more time.

Realtor: I just love this house. It's such a classic Victorian. It was built around 1886. Probably remodeled slightly in the '40s. I know what you're thinking. It needs a lot of TLC and it's a little pricier then what we were talking about originally, but remember, you've got two rental units downstairs to help you cover the mortgage. And I really think, relatively speaking, we could get this place for a song! Up here...

Drake Goodman: So, what do you think?
Dennis Reed: 750 grand, huh? It's not a song, it's an opera.
Patty Palmer: Between my savings and Drake's, we can cover the down payment. And the realtor said we could get one of those home equity loans for improvements.
Dennis Reed: You'd be totally tapped out.
Patty Palmer: But we'll have rental units.
Dennis Reed: Well, what if you can't rent them?
Drake Goodman: Oh, come on. The vacancy rate in this area is less than two percent.
Dennis Reed: Look, do you want my advice or my approval?
Drake Goodman: Your advice.
Patty Palmer: Approval.
Dennis Reed: Pass. It's too risky a call. I mean, if someone misses one month's rent, you're gonna go down like the Titanic. I don't even--I don't even think you can get approved for the loan at your income level.
Patty Palmer: We'll fudge the numbers a little.
Drake Goodman: Yeah. Everybody does it. It's expected.

Patty Palmer: You look so serious.
Drake Goodman: Rough day at work. It's a kite-eat-kite world out there, Patty. You know, I was thinking maybe we could sneak out tonight. I made a reservation down at Mama Chan's.
Patty Palmer: I don't know if I'm up to it.
Drake Goodman: Oh, a bottle of wine, a nice dinner. It'll do us both good.
Patty Palmer: I went to the doctor's today.
Drake Goodman: Why?
Patty Palmer: Well, I can't seem to shake this flu that I've been fighting, so, I figured I'd just make an appointment and go.
Drake Goodman: What did he say?
Patty Palmer: It's definitely not the flu.
Drake Goodman: Well, that's good, then. You know, maybe we'd both feel better if we both went out and had some fun.
Patty Palmer: Hayes rent didn't come, did it?
Drake Goodman: No. Tomorrow, probably.
Patty Palmer: Probably?
Drake Goodman: Yeah, it's a bank mix up. Look, I'm on top of it. Don't worry about it.
Patty Palmer: Drake.
Drake Goodman: Look. I got us into this, Patty. I'm gonna get us out of it. End of discussion.
Patty Palmer: End of discussion?
[sighs]
Patty Palmer: The doctor says I'm pregnant.
Drake Goodman: Oh. Wow. Congratulations.

Carter Hayes: Oh, hi. I thought you were from the, uh, phone company.
Patty Palmer: Who are you?
Carter Hayes: I'm, uh, I'm your new tenant. I'm Carter Hayes. You must be Patty, right?
Patty Palmer: Yeah.
Carter Hayes: I think I spoke with you a couple of weeks ago.
Patty Palmer: No. You didn't. How did you get in here?
Carter Hayes: Well, the door was open a little, and I, uh, I just opened it and came on in. I didn't wanna ring the buzzer and bother you so early. So I just let myself in. Hope that's okay. Drake said it would be all right if I came by for the phone installation.
Patty Palmer: Oh. Was that you hammering?
Carter Hayes: No. You did a great job restoring this place.
Patty Palmer: Thanks.
Carter Hayes: Did you pick those light fixtures out?
Patty Palmer: Yeah.
Carter Hayes: You have nice taste.
Patty Palmer: Thanks.
Carter Hayes: Nice meeting you.

Drake Goodman: I found a roofer. It's gonna cost us 75 bucks for an estimate. It's a good thing I rented that other apartment.
Patty Palmer: Mr Hayes is downstairs.
Drake Goodman: What do you mean he's downstairs?
Patty Palmer: In the apartment.
Drake Goodman: Did you let him in?
Patty Palmer: He was already in period
Drake Goodman: Well, I told him he can't move til we get his money.
Patty Palmer: Well, I heard hammering and there he was.
Drake Goodman: What was he hammering?
Patty Palmer: He said he wasn't.

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