Fatal Pursuit

One late Friday night/morning in the blistering Australian summer, I found myself unable to sleep and with nothing to do besides willing on a cold front, I turned on my T.V and found a film called 'Fatal Pursuit'. With my only other option being a Chuck Norris informercial, i settled in and watched quite possibly the worst movie i've ever seen (although 'Overboard' still holds that mighty crown). There is no intelligent way to describe how bad the film is, so i'll simply say this: It Sucks. It Just plain Sucks. The only possible reasons for watching this film are: the main Character's moustache, the big chin guy from Tango & Cash, and the refreshingly large amount of full body female nudity. Chuck Norris' Total Gym never looked better.

"Fatal Pursuit" opens with some unconvincing violent scenes, with punches that sound like a cushion being whacked with a ping pong paddle, and someone getting their hand off and burnt alive.

B-movie stalwart Robert Z'Dar (he of the huge face) appears wearing a wig that makes him look like a housewife on steroids.

Malcolm McDowell, whose presence in a movie at this stage of his career was certainly no mark of quality, makes an appearance, and so does Charles Napier.

The movie is set in New Orleans. Shannon Whirry plays some kind of career woman who is there investigating something or other. She meets a private eye played by Charles Napier and his coworker, a leisure-suit-Larry type.

You get the feeling the movie wants you to like the mullet-headed, moustachioed, leisure suit guy, which is funny, because he's so sleazy you recall from him. In one scene Shannon gets drunk and he takes her back to her hotel room. Probably nobody in the audience would not be wondering if sexual assault isn't on the cards. And yet, the scene is light-hearted.

Shannon comes to naked, and assumes she has indeed been raped. She gets a little cross with her sleazoid partner, but then they're friends again pretty soon. You'd think he showed her he can fart the national anthem or something, not that he made her the victim of a hideous violation.

You realise about half way through the movie that McDowell is the bad guy. They should have established that better, but the movie's opening scenes, with its unrealistic punches, hands getting lopped off, gunshot wounds, spontaneous combustion and exploding cars, were just too confusing for me to be able to tell what was going on.

Ferret-face himself, Larry Linville, shows up as a guy who can apparently afford a really babin' prostitute with a killer rack, though the filmmakers are dumb enough to not turn the lights on in the scene where she takes her top off.

I've said it already, but it bears repeating: this movie has perhaps the least realistic fisticuffs I've ever seen in a movie. The sound effects are particularly bad, so over the top that they make you realise the people in the scenes can hardly be considered to have struck each other. They look like they're wiping tears off each other's faces with their fists.

Shannon Whirry surprisingly only gets naked twice, with a long lull in between scenes.

I still found myself enjoying "Fatal Pursuit". It may not be a good movie by any measure, but it was still pretty entertaining.

Bad Acting!!! Bad special Effects... and I thought Witchcraft V was bad. o_O 2 out of 10 stars.. Avoid! Even if your as dumb as me for renting it, probably better to rent one of the Emmanueale movies..

I seen an edited version, no nude scenes; this movie was extremely funny and entertaining. The two "odd couple" pair, were perfect for each other, and I love when the movie comes to a great ending. I won't spoil the plot. Cute, a little dark incidents of crime, but the PI and British lady investigator, always brought it back to a lighter side of funny, and just a great crime, yet feel good movie, The investigation was like a little thrilling romantic adventure of two people that were an obvious "not made for each other" pair. I think the places and/or scenes they had to endure together, were hysterical, yet edgy in a thriller/crime way. The sexual overtones were not overdone, and made it more funny and more believable, in how these two people work together. If you don't mind a few people gettin blown up, it's a really cute, funny and entertaining way to spend watching a movie. But, it's only a movie, so it was really great. Imo.

Given that the user reviews for this film were so nose in the air, I was compelled to give the film a higher rating than it really deserves. (Forgive me Father.) Let's not make any bones about it; this is one of those run-of-the-mill, get it off-quick-on direct video (now DVD) action films, the kind you forget soon after watching. You can't expect anything special from such a film. So let me accent the positives, particularly after fellow reviewers have gone so far as to rate this among the worst films ever. (Yes, the sound you heard WAS a groan from the spirit of the Marquis of Queensbury.) I loved the relationship between our heroine and the hero. They obviously went all out to provide a study in contrasts, he a beer drinking slob from the Big Easy, and she a stuffy British bird who is not easy at all. And it worked! I wasn't familiar with the actress; I noticed in her listings she is something of a "B" queen, and I greatly appreciated her showing her wares (the film's dialogue comments, after she gets drunk and our hero brings her to bed unconscious, that she is a "10," and that not far from the truth. ((Those who might lecherously ask, "What, me Whirry?"... the answer would be a resounding "yes.")) By the way, let me jump ahead and provide another reason why I liked this film... it broke the rules, in this scene. Normally, the hero would be too much of a gentleman to take advantage of a lady in this state of stupor, but our cad of a hero actually did! I thought they were kidding, and at the end it was going to be one of those, "naw, I was a good boy" sort of thing, but that was positively ground-breaking..! Certainly only wonderful in movie terms; in real life we'd be talking downright contemptible, date-rape without question. She actually tells him, once she wakes up in the morning and over the phone, "I hope you used a condom." And her character was meant to be uncool!) So I loved this relationship. And our hero... whom I see from his listing has a tendency to cast himself, as the producer of many of his own vehicles... looked like a real hunk a' man as we used to appreciate in the old days, good manly build (in a natural way, without the superficial buff) hairy chest and all. And even though he was a rapist, there was a soft side to him, not one of those clichéd and boring heroes we would expect in a film like this. There were a lot of wonderful and clever lines in the film, I guess not too memorable as I can't think of an example now, but as I was watching, I thought to myself, hey. That was kind of witty! So the writing gets a plus... kind of. The plot? Well, what do you want. It moved. It's not boring. What do you want, for Pete's sake?

I'll tell you what else I liked. (Man, my glass is hopelessly half full compared to the other reviewers, thus far; theirs barely had a drop.) I love these B-movies that fill up the cast with familiar faces. I mean, Robert Z'Dar? Charles Napier? (At 62, a swinger with the chicks. This movie may not exactly rule, but it breaks the rules, I tell you!) And Larry Linville, an old guy here, but still getting it on with the lovely lasses. Again, not conforming to the rules of our youth-oriented society... yes, men still have sex after forty. (Women? Not in too many movies, alas, especially not this one. Okay, there are limits to the rule-breakings.) Malcolm McDowell can walk through the kind of evil boss role that he plays here, but he does a great job. Even if he's walking through it. His hopelessly young girlfriend (there's a trend here with the older men getting it on with the beautiful young women, yes I spotted it) is a kind of psycho, which is almost a cliché, but still kind of fun. We even get the obligatory twist ending... well, not quite a "twist," but you know how in horror movies we get the resolution, and after the dust settles with what appears to be the finale, there's room for one more cheap scare? We get that here too. And after the bodies pile up, our heroes (the lady has been won over by now; I thought her English accent was winning, by the way, as someone mentioned it was not consistent. I thought Ms. Whirry pulled it off) say, let's have sex! Yes, even with the dead bodies around them. Now if that is not a cool movie, what is?