- Alan Partridge: That's not racist. French people chomp onions and go "hoh-hee-hoh-hee-hoh", that's a fact.
- Alan Partridge: Phillip Parsons, if you're watching, in five minutes' time, I will be strapped to a Wheel of Death and you will have a plate with some words and a knife and a fork. What I'm trying to say is you're going to eat your words.