Robot Wars

There's nothing quite like watching giant robots doing battle over a desert wasteland, and Robot Wars does deliver. Sure, the acting is lousy, the dialogue is sub-par, and the characters are one-dimensional, but it has giant robots! The special effects themselves are actually quite good for the period. They are certainly not as polished as today's standards, but it contains a minimum of computer graphics and instead uses miniatures, so it has aged fairly well. Its shortcomings are easily overlooked given the films short runtime, and it does have a certain tongue-in-cheek humour in parts that make it quite enjoyable. I would recommend this to any fan of giant robots or cheesy sci-fi who is looking for a lighthearted hour of distraction.

In the future of 2041, a cataclysm has reshaped the power structure of the world with the North American based North Hemi in alliance with the pan Asian collective of the Eastern Alliance. North Hemi is in conflict with marauders known as the Centros, and its relations with the Eastern Alliance are of importance to keeping the Centros at bay. Maverick pilot Captain Drake (Don Michael Paul) pilots the Mega Robot with his co-pilot/mechanic Stumpy (James Staley). The Mega Robot is used to conduct tours for civilians, but also carries weaponry for defense against the Centros. Drake is at odds with OpCom Chief Rooney (Peter Haskell) over his recklessness involving taking civilians through hostile territory and Rooney's dealings with General Wa-Lee (Danny Kamekona) of the Eastern Alliance whom Drake suspects may be hiding ulterior motives involving the Centros. When Drake's fears soon prove to be real, Drake, Stumpy, and archaeologist Dr. Leda Fannon (Barbara Crampton) must work together to find a way of stopping Wa-Lee's plot.

Another attempt from Full Moon Entertainment to follow-on loosely from Robot Jox, Robot Wars is in some ways an improvement over the studios previous effort Crash and Burn in that the Robots on the box cover and trailer have more presence and importance in the movie, and also unlike Crash and Burn there's more thought put into the production design with OpCom actually feeling like a tangible area and not just a repurposed abandoned industrial building. But while Robot Wars doesn't have the problems of Crash and Burn's presentation, it's exchanged them for problems with comprehensibility and storytelling with its narrative a confused mess using jargon it's made-up wholesale and rarely (if ever) tells you what it means.

Clocking in at a meager 72 minutes (not including credits) the movie throws the audience into this post-apocalyptic world where the world powers have shifted but unlike Robot Jox that at least opened with an info dump at the beginning giving us context for the world, Robot Wars does the cinematic equivalent of throwing its audience into the deep end of a swimming pool and calling it a day. The movie never lets us in on what exactly North Hemi entails nor does it give any insight into the motivations behind the Centros or the Eastern Alliance so even if you "know" what's going on you'll be hard pressed to figure out the why. The movie also has an unappealing lead in Don Michael Paul who seems to be going for a "devil may care" maverick a la Tom Cruise in Top Gun, but instead comes off more like Biff Tannen from the Back to the Future films if he were framed as the "hero". Much like Bill Moseley in Crash and Burn, Danny Kamekona is having fun as the underwritten villain General Wa-Len who's basically Dr. No by way of Colonel Kurtz, but as stock and shallow as the character is you have to admire Kamekona dedication.

The effects by noted stop-motion artist David Allen are once again employed as they were in Robot Jox and Crash and Burn, and they do give Allen a bit more leeway to stretch himself with the Robots, not as much as in Robot Jox, but it's a DTV film so we're lucky we got what we did. Most of the robot sequences are pretty reserved and don't cut loose until the last 10 minutes, but I will say that as far as robot fights go it's not bad, even if it has a rather BS Deus Ex Machina button in the hero's robot that ends the fight.

Robot Jox improves upon the short comings of Crash and Burn while also adding a whole bunch of new problems. The movie's story and characters are an absolute mess with Don Michael Paul rather lacking as a lead, and the world building and motivations are muddled and confusing. David Allen's Robot effects look nice and you get more of them than Crash and Burn, but not to the point I'd recommend a viewing.

This movie doesn't have an awful lot to do with it's predecessor "Robot Jox". This must be also the reason why its most common name is "Robot Wars" and not the alternate name "Robot Jox 2: Robot Wars".

"Robot Jox" was basically a fun movie to watch because it had a nice premise of giant robots battling each other in the near future. This concept has been abandoned for this movie and instead it features a totally dull story that besides isn't very original or cleverly written. A shame it tried to be so much different from its predecessor really, for else this perhaps could had been a more fun movie to watch.

Just like "Robot Jox" this is a B-movie but with as a big difference that it's just not a very good one. Perhaps this also has to with the fact that "Robot Jox" got made during the '80's, when B-movies still had a certain bit of charm and class over it, even though the movie got released in 1990. This really can't be said about this movie. It's just lame, badly made, poor looking and not exciting enough. It also has an ending which leaves you thinking 'This is it? That's all?'.

What the movie its story is lacking is good clear main plot-line really. Perhaps a good main villain would had been a good idea and some other stuff such as an actual point to the story, some action, or likable main characters.

Seriously what were they thinking when they picked the actors for this movie. All of them are simply not likable in their roles and especially Don Michael Paul is annoying as the main character, who behaves as if he's God's gift to woman and Mr. Perfect who can compete with anyone. Weren't they even simply able to get the actors from the first movie?

For such a futuristic movie, with a concept of having large battle droids in it, this movie surely is lacking with its action. Had they put some more and bigger action into the movie, the movie would at least had been a more entertaining one to watch. Instead now we have a movie that fails to impress in basically every way imaginable.

You can better watch a "Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers" episode, for some more action and likability.

3/10

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I bought this movie at a flea market mainly because it had a neat box. It's really not all that good. Let me put it this way, the title is misleading. The giant robots are pretty cool. But you don't get to see them that often. This could have been a good movie but it isn't quite good enough to bother buying (or renting) unless your a hardcore sci-fi fan. Oh, and the acting is pretty bad, too.

Lightly entertaining but instantly forgettable follow-up to the earlier movie "Robot Jox". The story has to do with rebels dubbed "Centros" who are a threat to survivors of some sort of apocalypse. In this setting, guys like Drake (Don Michael Paul) function as pilots of enormous robot spiders that both transport passengers and can be used as battle vehicles. Drake meets crusading archaeologist Leda (Barbara Crampton), and although they get off on the wrong foot, it seems that romance will be in the air. Soon Drake's going to have his hands full battling a megalomaniac named Wa-Lee (Danny Kamekona).

Veteran film director Albert Band ("I Bury the Living") took the reigns of this one for his son, Full Moon head honcho Charles Band. While "Robot Wars" manages to be amusing to a minor degree, it's of no real distinction. It's very much a good thing that it runs a trim 72 minutes long. The cast selected is interesting: Paul (writer / director of "Half Past Dead") is a good looking but fairly bland hero, but Crampton of "Re-Animator" fame is spunky and sincere, and Peter Haskell ("Child's Play" 2 and 3) is a hoot as your standard issue greedy corporate creep. It's also amusing to see the two villains from "The Karate Kid Part II", Kamekona and Yuji Okumoto, acting together. James Staley ("Sweet Dreams") supplies the comedy relief, and Ms. Crampton and Lisa Rinna ('Melrose Place') supply the eye candy.

The two most successful elements here are typically excellent David Allen effects, and a soaring music score by David Arkenstone.

This may be passable enough for B movie junkies, just so long as they don't expect too much going in.

Five out of 10.