Pocket Ninjas

This movie is, flat out, atrocious in every way. The acting is awful, the stunts are laughable, the fights are very poor, there is no plot, and what little plot that exists is ridiculous. However, I highly recommend it as a tutorial on how not to make a movie, and for any big group of people who wants to end up rolling on the floor laughing.

A friend of mine purchased this movie in a bargain bin, with a few others. Now, I am generally a fan of bad movies, particularly bad horror movies... This film however, left me aghast.

I can summarize this simply, with the event that transpired after the film completed.

Me:"I will give you a quarter to let me microwave that." Friend:"5 cents a second."

The quarter was more then enough to put that poor DVD out of its misery. It then was aptly flung around until it shattered on a radiator.

This movie is firmly placed at the status of "The Worst Movie Ever". And anytime someone brings up an alternative, I merely offer this one up as evidence. This movie has only a single place, that of forgotten obscurity, it is unfortunate that it was so bad, it has been wedged into my mind forever.

That includes the worst movies ever made by a five year old kid with his parent's video camera. Trying to follow the plot was like looking at a Escher painting, but without anything interesting to see along the way. The acting was terrible, and the directing was worse. The best thing about the movie was making fun of it with my friends.

I highly suggest that you don't see this movie unless you are:

A) brain dead

B) deaf AND blind

C) punishing yourself

D) a cinematic masochist

E) all of the above

Preferable E.

And this year's Oscar goes to.......Pocket Ninjas!! Ladies and Gentlemen, forget Million Dollar Baby, Ray, and Sideways, they don't even compare to this wonderful movie directed by Dave Eddy. One could say that salvation could be obtained just by watching half a second of this movie.

Between the fantastic lighting, brilliant sound, and with a villain no older than 10, this movie combines fantastic writing (like "You're not only a dumb blonde, but you're a vegetarian" and "Oh yeah, well you're a fat Republican") you're bound for a four star movie.

Honestly, this very well could've been the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life. If you and a few buddies want some gut-wrenching laughs, however, or you're just a big fan of bad movies, I would highly recommend this movie and all its hilarity.

Lets just say after I watched the first three minutes it was already off. The movie is so bad it is almost laughable. I can't even tell you what its about, but if your looking for the worst movie ever, then I think you've found it.