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Hercules Returns (1993) is a proud pi**take of 1960s Italian Hercules movies. Just as there were spaghetti westerns (mostly a decade later), the 1960s first kicked out spaghetti Hercules flicks, employing a myriad of pretty-boy wrestlers and bodybuilders, including Americans.

HR slays its 1993 audience not by mere spoofing, but by redubbing and reinterpreting the original B-movie vision, and plot, into something far more dopey and salacious.

For anyone interested, this is a feature film adaptation of the Double Take team's stage productions in Melbourne, realised onscreen here by Australian comedy festival host Mary Coustas (aka "Effie" to Aussies, playing the feisty Lisa), David Argue (as Brad), and Bruce Spence (as Sprocket). Yes, Bruce Spence is the lanky guy from Mad Max 1 & 3.

The silly excuse of a plot for this pi**take is the resurrection of an old moviehouse with the last film it screened some 30yrs before. That real-world original 1960s spaghetti gem was titled Samson and the Mighty Challenge (1964). Unfortunately the new theatre has some present-day enemies (Brad's old boss) who sabotages things by replacing the English-dubbed classic with its original and incomprehensible Italian version.

Somehow Lisa, Brad and Sprocket discover this looming disaster "in time" for the big show, rushing into the projection room to dub the film live on mics, complete with foley, their own falsetto voices, and an amazing "foreknowledge" of the plot (the pi**take). Well, it's all just an excuse for the Double Take team to do their thang. And what a talented thang it is: their timing, as well as their complete reinvention of plot fitting the existing vision, is truly awesome.

This farcical new plot often reinvents cynical modern hindsight as Romanised proper nouns. For instance, when Hercules (1960s Alan Steel) is hoeing into a chicken drumstick, his new English lines have him musing over somewhere he'd eaten good chicken before: "Oh yeah, Botulinia, that was it" (hinting botulism).

Hercules is now overdubbed as a dopey cabaret wannabe, wandering into the little town of "Climidia" (chlamydia) after rescuing a damsel from drowning. The damsel turned out to be a princess of sorts, remarking that Climidia needs a new cabaret act.

The princess' parents soon contemplate booking "that new singer from Crete, you know, Kylie Minogus", but reject her because "she's only popular with Cretans" (cretins). Instead, they "discover" Hercules, the son-of-a-god, mainly as a potential husband for their daughter. They desperately need some pretext to stop young Labia marrying her true love Testiculi, so they concoct Hercules' arrival as an edict of the gods. But the wily and not particularly chaste Labia has already seen through Herc: "Get real, mum, I'm not marrying someone with bigger tits than me", she scoffs.

Labia's mother Muriel is not very chaste either. She invites Herc up to her room "for a surprise" right in front of her husband Ted, who looks like a cagey "Benny Hill Show reject". Herc demurs that he "doesn't like to plan that sort of thing", so Muriel suggests she could sneak up on him. Without skipping a beat, Ted interjects: "-Nah; who likes old age creeping up on 'em?". Ted does have some of the funniest lines, apparently based on the original Italian actor's demeanor, who for some reason gave an all-too-knowing performance back in 1964.

It's very satisfying having the homosexual undertones of spaghetti Hercules B-movies explicated like this. During the course of Herc's Climidia stay, the local oracle "reveals" that the real reason Zeus sent him here was to declare Herc's true homosexual tendencies to the world. Hercules is completely incredulous: "You mean I'm a visitor to Vegemite Valley?!" The oracle then declares that Herc's perfect partner is in fact Samson, whom he must fight to prove his orientation. If Herc wins, he can marry Labia, but if he loses, he "must marry Samson".

All the original characters are mercilessly pilloried using the existing footage. Samson's newly dubbed lines are utterly pathetic and hilarious. As he contemplates his upcoming championship against Hercules, Samson muses "If I lose, my reputation is buggered... But if I win, I have to marry Hercules and then I'm buggered again...". His reinterpreted scenes with his girlfriend Delilah are some of the most tear-inducing: "Delilah! Where are you? You're hiding in that bloody little box again, aren't ya?" (due to the original actor's bizarre checking of tiny spaces). But Delilah is "a bit of a bruiser" who doesn't mince words. She doesn't want Samson fighting any more after one of his opponents was killed. "It's a bit unfair bringing that up-- you stabbed him", retorts Samson. She's still smarting as she accuses him of wanting to carouse for chicks in his chariot. So he butters her up with "What would I want with a beautiful young thing when I've got you, eh?". "-Suave bugger", concedes Delilah.

My favourite scene is with the farm chickens as they run across the screen. I recall watching the 1964 rerun one schoolday afternoon, and thinking that the last chicken was a little slow. Well, I should've known some comedian would notice the same thing. So now the chickens too have hilarious internal narratives: "Cluck, cluck, cluck, cl-aaaf*ck this for a joke". The punchline is the last chook, as it laments "Oooooh, I missed me cue"!

Some of the language is rather "Strine" (unsophisticated Aussie slang), but that's just leverage against other unlikable characters, like all the bodybuilders prancing in tight supermini loincloths. All are pilloried.

The last best gift is heard under the end credits: Des Mangan's Hercules Rap. He is the unseen talent behind the whole Double Take show. Although dated now with its 1990s clap machine, the song refers to itself as "rap with a capital C". Mangan as Hercules raps, "...I'm a bachelor again, but I ain't cryin'; If I don't have a girl, I can always pump iron!"

Hilarious, and addictively quotable. 9.5 out of 10.

You don't have to be appreciative of Australian humour to absolutely love this movie. For those of you who don't know who Des Managan is, it really makes little difference.

I discovered this movie purely by chance and have spent the last five years trying to get a copy of it.

The pure comedic genius of the humour coupled with the protagonists love of cinema theatre - he leaves his boss with a simple presentation of "the bird" in visual form, makes this movie great.

It is endlessly quotable for us true geeks with such wonderful phrases as "geese mum I'm not gonna marry a guy with bigger tits than me" and the spoof performance of "oh yes I'm the great pretender" I cannot fault it in anyway and strongly suggest you watch it if you can get hold of a copy at all - this is an all time classic which all too few of us have had the pleasure of watching.

If you don't laugh til you wet yourself, I'll personally give you your money back...........

Ever since I first saw this film in 1995 I have made it one of my all time favorites. The smutty filthy humour, the 'f****n prawns' and Delilah had me in tears, true belly laughs are to be had watching this movie.

This movie is very entertaining, hilarious and full of memorable one liners that you can drive your friends crazy with! A very funny movie!

This film is brilliant.

If you want to see a serious movie with a great story, acting, and drama, don't bother.

This film was made for laughs, pure and simple, and it succeeds. And boy does it succeed! The film is basically like a feature version of the "Whose Line is it Anyway" game "Film dub".

In the movie, a group of friends decide to buy an old run-down old-fashioned cinema, spruce it up, and bring back the old-fashioned feeling of the cinema. As their premiere movie, they decide to show the last film that was shown in the cinema, a 1960's Italian film called "Hercules". Unfortunately just minutes before the film is to be screened to a group of very prestigious people, they find out it doesn't have any English dubbing or subtitles. In a desperate attempt to save the film, the 3 friends decide to turn off the sound, and create all the characters voices and sound-effects within the projection room itself.

There are a couple of other subplots, but the film is just chaotic brilliance as the friends try desperately to carry on.

I couldn't stop laughing when I saw the film, and you should seriously try and see it next time you get the chance. You won't be disappointed.

The comedy is simple: we see a 1963 Italian Hercules movie, with an "ad-libbed" English language soundtrack. We've seen this kind of thing done before. Many of us have seen it done better. I wouldn't be surprised if the people responsible for this very film have done better: it's based on their live performances, after all, and it would be surprising if they hadn't, on some nights, hit higher peaks than they do here. But that doesn't matter: the great thing about "Hercules Returns" is the way the frame story enlivens everything else about it.

Our three heroes have just opened an independent cinema, and an evil multiplex baron has seen to it that the only film they have to screen is cheesy, thirty years old, in Italian, without subtitles. They screen it anyway, ad-libbing all the dialogue and sound effects. Of course, the actors don't really ad-lib: they've seen the film before and they know what's coming next. But it's much more fun pretending that they're making it up as they go along than it would be to attend a performance in which they really were. Whenever they say something that turns out to match up with what happens NEXT rather than what's happened already, it's a delightful miracle - and because it really wasn't a miracle, because we knew all along that the performers were in no danger of slipping, we don't feel nervous on their behalf, so we're free to laugh. It's like watching the barn front fall on Buster Keaton, who survives because he by happy accident standing where the window landed. It's both thrilling and funny. If it really WERE a happy accident it would be neither.

The reaction shots at the start serve a similar purpose. Every few seconds, at first, we cut away from Hercules to the cinema audience, who are laughing merrily - and at first I though this was an insulting way of telling us, the real audience, that what we were watching was funny. I was wrong. The film does away with reaction shots after a couple of minutes, but they were needed early on to reassure us that the cinema audience was indeed enjoying, and would continue to enjoy, the show. Once satisfied on that point we're free to enjoy it ourselves. Not only do we laugh all the more helplessly, but every time we do, we feel more certain that the heroes are going to succeed.

This movie was highly recommended, so, I gave it a chance and watched it till the very end. Well, this is one of the most annoying movies I've ever watched. I am a keen fan of comedy series and movies but this is just crap. there wasn't one moment I had to laugh. I thought I could rely on the ratings of IMDb but this proves it completely wrong. Sorry guys, if you can laugh with this then I don't know how you react when you watch some normal comedy. Can anybody try to explain what's so funny about this? I don't mind Australian comedy altogether but definitely not this one. It's definitely not a promo for Australian movies to the outside world.

So far I only know of one person who does not like this film, the rest absolutely loved it! It's probably one of those films whether you love it or you hate it.

I don't know much about Aussie stuff (being NZer myself) but this was amazingly humoured, I've watched it about 15 times by now and still want to.

I thought the first bit was pretty bad, it only got better when the voicing started, and that's where all the essence lies! The hay-stack joke's one of my favourite. Anyone know where I can get the tape to keep???? Please let me know!!

Absolutely no prizes for style or taste could ever be attributed to this film. However, it is riproaringly funny. The voices dubbed on to the incredibly tacky original add so much humour. Leave brain at the door, lay back and die laughing - a 9 out of 10 from me

One of the shining moments in my aussiedom was when I watched this film and realised that it takes a very special kind of mind to create this kind of masterpiece and that that mind was aussie.

Take a budget of say hmmm AUS$2000? Perhaps thats a little generous hehehe, some relatively unknown actors, an old Italian muscle man version of hercules and a very warped and creative script writer and you have... tears running down your face and aching sides.

It has everything, good guys, bad guys, action, comedy..... lotsssssss of comedy and of course 'I love movies with muscle men in them' hehehe. Its been about a year since I've seen this movie though I've seen it about 20 times because I keep getting it out to show it to other people, but I still remember scenes and lines and sit there and giggle quietly to myself. My friends and I often sprout a line when it seems appropriate (or inappropriate as is usually the case) and we'll start giggling hillariously all over again.

Watch It!! Just do yourself a favour and watch it, because I don't think they will be re-releasing this gem and the old vids are getting worn down by the fans.

For all you poor deprived people over the pond, lobby whoever you have to and beg them to get it released in your country. Call it cultural education hehehe I swear you wont be disappointed.

I actually wanted just to vote, but I cannot find it in a separate page from the review one. The film is hysterically funny, and it takes a while to understand what are they all about here. They took an older real movie, and using a plausible reason, got to the point where all the lines from the old movie are replaced by some comical lines the voices doing the characters managed to come up with. For me it seemed even more funny because it is familiar: I used to see dubbed movies in cinema and often the translators "comixed" them up as they invented lines just to keep up with the action. But this here is taking such a random act to the hilarious level, they contort their voices, they adapt the lines and you either watch glued to the screen to get every witticism, either laugh your pants out.

How anyone can find those high pitched voices funny is beyond me. And they even say bad jokes, not even clever ones. You know the biggest failure on this attempt of comedy? The original was a comedy also! This movie is akin as making fun of the 1963 Batman TV show, a parody of a parody. The original( Samson and the Mighty Challenge 1964) is already a clever parody of its own genre. A movie making fun of itself, but that time (and well 30 years before!) worked beautifully because the makers of the original knew how to measure our, how to ration. A joke of a joke of a joke is what this movie is , and that is pretty dumb. In short, watch the original you'll watch a clever comedy with great comic tempo and plot, and if you think it dates 1963 pretty ahead of it's time. Any lover of stuff like This is Spinal Tap or The princess bride should enjoy it plenty.

Still without doubt one of the funniest Australian films ever made. The comedy writing stands as some of the best ever done in this country and the movie has so many funny lines it is almost painful to watch from the laughter it induces.The fact that this movie still has not been released on DVD is mind-blowing.

The movie is of course based off the live show by Australian Comedy team Double Take who toured around Australia with this and other shows. Information about Double Take can be found at their website http://www.doubletake.com.au.

Perhaps if we all petition them we can get them to finally release this movie on DVD.

This movie is totally terrible....i thought that the first 10 mins was funny and i was expecting a classic movie......i was asleep about 20mins later! so do yourself a favor when you see this movie and spit on it!This however does not mean the actors did a bad job..they just had a revolting plot!!!!!!!

i liked steve oederkirk's farcical 'kung pao: enter the fist', and for anyone else who liked that movie, CHECK THIS ONE OUT ;-) .

it's sort of the same working premise- take a ridiculous old 'b' movie and interject a new plot, new dialog, and new sound effects.

the result here (after the first ten minutes of boring, but needed 'setting of the stage') is a light-hearted, fast moving romp which includes every smart-**s remark i ever wanted to make. for example: enemy, "i'm going to chew you up and spit you out, ya little turd!!" hercules, "well, if that's any indication of your dietary habits, it certainly explains your breath." if you like a good farce, check this one out, if for nothing else, to laugh about how hercules sounds like, but pre-dates, 'butthead'. have fun

In a nutshell a disgruntled man quits his job to open his own cinema and his old employer swaps the film hes showing on the opening night for an Italian version so he and his 2 employees have to dub it themselves. I laughed so much it hurt.

The rude names they give to the characters and the fact they make Samson sound like a girl are just 2 of my reasons for watching this film again and again. If you haven't seen it you ARE missing out. Unless you have no sense of humour, in which case you should probably watch a documentary or something....

A big fat 10 out of 10.

The producers of Hercules Returns shows the world that corner cutting when it comes to movie making is not only acceptable but should be promoted.

I can imagine the initial board meeting when planning the movie.

"We're gonna make a funny as snot comedy based on the Greek legend of Hercules" They look around and see the money men hypo ventilating with budget induced panic attacks.

"BUT, we're not going to spend a fortune on actors, sets and costumes if that's what you're thinking, instead we're gonna take a long forgotten early 1960's Italian Epic based around Greek Mtyhology and turn the sound off".

There you have your plot and therein lies your comedy. An Australian movie theatre with technical problems, who's over zealous staff decide to show the movie and dub in their own voices with an audio which they hope will match the visual story, though someone should have warned them that at least a small inkling of the plot would have helped them.

I can imagine that a deaf person who could lip read in Italian, probably got a completely different cinematic experience than the rest of us, (Who are those annoying bastards in the cinema projection room ruining this fine Italian feature film!!!), but I'm sure they'd enjoy it too.

See this movie ASAFP, but have some spare pants at the ready, 'cuz you're gonna need 'em.

Now i have seen plenty of bad movies in my time.....and let me simply say that this movie is one of the absolute worse ! bad humor, bad acting, bad story! i watched the first 10 mins of this movie and thought it had potential, that is until they actually started covering the voices on the italian film. all the jokes fall flat, and the only 'people' (and i must use that term loosly)that would find this grub of a movie funny is madmen, retards, and lovers of crap films! i found it almost impossible to NOT turn this garbage off. i swear i didn't laugh once, and right after this torture session ended i packed the movie up ever so quickly and threw it back to the vidio store with the explicit recommendation to NEVER EVER subject people to this cruelty again!!!! total waste of 3 dollars it was.

I can't recommend this movie enough, it is absolutely hilarious, a mate introduced me to this and I was a bit reluctant to give it a go, but having finally seen it it is one of the most hilarious movies I have seen in ages.

Good honest slapstick humour is provided by the campy acting of the original movie and this is only enhanced to a peak of hilarity by the superbly written dubs.

Anybody who sees this movie and cannot find anything to laugh about it are either devoid of a sense of humour (A good career lies ahead of them in accountancy or other equally bureaucratic careers) or are currently in a coma on a life support machine.

One can only suppose why anybody would give this movie anything but a good review since the humour works on all levels, in slapstick and the more cerebral ironic.

The scarcity of public access to this and other movies poses a serious question of the Movie Industries opposition to P2P file sharing networks, that such wonderfully comedic masterpieces as this should be consigned to oblivion at the fickle whims of unimaginative bureaucratic humourless movie industry corporate bosses is perhaps a greater crime than that of those prepared to keep movies like this alive and publicly accessible through file sharing and is perhaps something worth thinking about.

Just found it. Look on the net for DVD ATALANTIC and search their catalog. Of course it is a zone 4 DVD but for anyone like many of us who have been looking for it for ages it will do. I couldn't find if it has English subtitles or any other for that matter but being one of the funniest movies ever to have shown on movies or TV's anywhere in the world I do suggest you buy it. And I can assure you it's worth it. Well worth it. Even if you don't understand most of the dialogs in typical Australian slang you will find enough slips through to make it a worthwhile flick. It's one heck of a dubbing wonder and I sure would like to see the double take act but I guess they'll never come to Portugal. And their site seems to be down so...

I found this little gem of a movie under strict orders that I was not to return from the video shop without a good comedy. And

Hercules Returns certainly gave me something to laugh about, it's corny and so simple but myself and my friends found ourselves quoting lines weeks later. In fact it's become something of an in-joke, that nobody understands until they've seen this film. When it started, it reeked of very bad B movie and I was getting loads of dirty looks. The plot itself is simple, it's an equally corny Italian B movie - Australian style.It makes you curious to see how bad the original was. It's hilarious because although all the jokes are juvenile there memorable. I wouldn't recommend taking this movie too seriously, it's definitely a case of leave your brain at the trailers. I would definitely recommend this movie, if your looking for something silly and at the very least have you smiling between the belly laughs. Do yourself a favor and see it.Don't be put off with the B movie look or you'll end up missing out on a lot of laughs.

The first few minutes of this film is the setup--a down-and-out loser opens a old theater that's been closed for a long time. The problem is that the film they've gotten for the theater's big debut--Hercules--is in Italian rather than English. The hero and two friends decide to save the day by lip-synching over the film. There are a few good jokes in the beginning part, but the real magic is in the voice overs they choose to create for the film, from commentaries on Austrlian cuisine to educated conversations during fight scenes and truly "Aussie" deathbed laments. I saw this movie when I was living in Australia and my gut literally hurt from laughing when it was over. It remains the funniest movie I have ever seen. The timing of the voice overs is unbelievable. This is a hard-to-find one for American audiences, but it's worth it.

One of Australia's best. It is Australian, but not the way Americans would make an Aussie movie. My favourite quote is when the one guy burps and says: "Pick the prawns out of that one!"

I give it 11/10, it's so good. You think it's a typical B-grade movie to start with, but it really is fantastic. I love Effie (Mary Coustas) and she was good, too.