Blanco y negro

What kind of a show? Well, let's use something that history shows us will succeed. But let's not imitate one of Hitchcock's best films. That would be wrong -- also it would be obvious. So let's imitate Brian DePalma imitating Hitchcock. Two sure-fire winners. How can we go wrong?

I'm sympathetic to the protagonist, a red-bearded ordinary-looking social anthropologist, because I are one myself. And I am sympathetic too to Heather Locklear's character as the victim. Not because she earns any sympathy but just because she looks so good in skin-tight white slacks bending over to make the bed that any normal man would immediately want to attack her and squeeze and bite her.

Boy is this stuff recycled. It should receive The Palm from The Nature Conservancy. Let me see. Busfield, the anthropologist who likes to videotape people to study their movements, captures on film by chance a murder being committed across the courtyard of his apartment complex. We're in "Rear Window" territory here. But the victim is not the apartment's owner, Locklear, who turns out to be alive but in danger from her boyfriend, who has a habit of clobbering her for reasons the writer's don't bother to tell us about. The boyfriend, played with an Irish accent, which I consider outright racism probably perpetrated by Boston Brahmin Proddys, is the murderer of the first blonde, the victim who gets her brains bashed out with an iron. (Are you following this?) Busfield gets involved with Locklear and -- well, if you've seen DePalma's "Body Double," I needn't explain in too much detail. Of course he's reported the murder to the police but they are skeptical, as all police are in these situations. So Busfield begins following the murderer around, getting his nose popped in the process. (He's a pretty clumsy detective.) His Jewish auntie, Cloris Leachman, keeps warning him to look out, but does he listen?

By the end, the murderer is wised up to what's going on. There is a great deal of dashing around. Helpless blondes scream. Heroes run to the rescue, praying that they will get there on time. The murderer grows even more vicious and determined. And -- well, forget it. Want to see a good movie? Rent "Rear Window" and watch it again.

In one scene, Timmy Busfield is focusing his binoculars on the bedroom window across the way from his apartment. He sees Heather Locklear making up the bed, while wiggling her delicious fanny (encased in white slacks) to music on the radio. You can't the music but by the gyrations, you figure that is what is happening. Don't know how this would look on DVD, but when I recorded it on my VCR, I put it on ETP (extended long play) and then played it back one frame at a time. Heather sure knew how to move. That one scene alone made the entire movie for me which basically was a remake of Hitchcock's Rear Window. But Grace Kelly in tight white slacks wouldn't have been the same.

Greatly enjoyed the acting performance of Timothy Busfield, (Professor Del Calvin),"Heartbeat",2000, who likes to use a camera and look into various apartment windows and one night sees a very sexy looking blond being attacked by a man with a Steam Iron in his hand. Professor Del Calvin makes friends with Heather Locklear,(Victoria),"Money Talks",'97 and tries to tell her that she is in harms way and needs to go to the police. The story has many twists and turns and keeps you guessing right to the bitter end. Busfield entertains us with some sexy clarinet playing and has lots of fun with an elderly lady who gets around in a wheel chair and drinks up most of his booze! Timothy Busfield did a great job in making this film lots of fun to view.

One word will accurately sum up this film- excellent, riveting...dare I even say, confusing??? Well, that wasn't just one word, but gosh darndit, they all describe this marvellous film so well! Timothy Busfield's portrayal of the peeping Mr. Rosatia's pulls the viewer into this intricate web of deceit where you don't know who's good and who's bad; where you don't know what's white and what's black; where you don't know whether geese are really geese and why some people just never stop the spying! Heather Locklear has never before and has never since achieved the greatness that she does in this masterpiece of cinematography!!! And A++ all around- here is one fan who hopes that Mr. Rosatia will once again pair up with the talented Ms. Locklear for another gripping hour and half or so of entertainment!!