Ultra Warrior

If ever there was a movie that needed MST3K to cover, this was it. This is not a movie to see alone, as you may suffer brain hemorrhages. If you want to practice picking out continuity errors and shouting out comments, this the movie to do it with. There is so much footage taken from other movies, I'm pretty sure that the only original shots are those with the actors in the movie-and even that is doubtful. This movie is so horrible that it makes you seriously wonder how it could have been made. On average, you'll cringe about once every three minutes. There are so many holes in the plot and script, that it's full...of...well, really big holes. If you enjoy fine cinema, you'll never even be in the same section as this video. Still, Ultra Warrior has found a place near and dear to my heart. Just about everyone I know has seen it at least once at my urging. There's just something about the way that the cast and crew knew that they were making a movie that would possibly never see the light of day. No effort is made to hide the impossible jumps in the plot, the disturbingly poor special effects, the incredibly cheesy delivery of lines, or the smashingly choppy scene cuts. In fact, they revel in it. This is a movie that the people making it had fun doing. Or they were all completely insane. Completely.

But it's fun. I recommend it. A little.

Definitely in contention for first place for "Most Unashamed Use of Stock Footage in a Motion Picture", along with Jackie Chan's "Master of Cracked Fingers". We see unconnected scenes from a dozen Roger Corman epics thrown together willy-nilly - including shots of George Peppard from "Battle Beyond the Stars" and even a repeat of what must be the most re-used scene in stock footage history: David Carradine's "Fight with Mutants at the Well" from "Warrior and the Sorceress", "Wizards of the Lost Kingdom 2", et. al. Maybe five minutes worth of original footage in the whole movie.

An incomprehensible mess, Ultra Warrior is far and away the most relentless assault on the senses I have been subjected to in ages.

Key scenes from a barely released 1990 film called WELCOME TO OBLIVION were reedited with footage from God-knows-how-many other films, resulting in the video-exclusive backwash known as ULTRA WARRIOR. It's little more than a string of explosions with a threadbare story about Dack Rambo being sent into a radioactive wasteland to evaluate mining potential, and being drawn into a bloody war between mutants and slave-drivers. This gala of fractional endowments is so imbued with 80s barbarian post-apocalypse cliches that it almost works as a satire of the subgenre.

A painful test of endurance, but surely a badmovie monger's dream, UULTRA WARRIOR is a must-see-to-disbelieve experience. You will *never* mock another movie again.

1/10.

And yet, with "Ultra Warrior" and a couple dozen other movies, Roger Corman has done just that. Ever since he invested a couple million dollars in "Battle Beyond the Stars" he's been making zero budget sci-fi and action movies re-using the same footage. "Ultra Warrior" is particularly bad, though, because the plot and all the exposition exists simply to hold together bits of other movies.

It is amusing, though. The plot involves this dude working for some big brother corporation in the future investigating mining a miracle mineral in an area controlled by mutants (and of course, evil mutant hunters) who eventually becomes "the chosen one". Every time two characters talk the film cuts away to "Lords of the Deep" or "Battle Beyond the Stars" to show us this giant fantastical plot that's supposedly going on at the same time. It's ridiculous, but that's why it's entertaining.

There are also two pretty good action sequences that were actually originally filmed for this movie, so it's worth watching even if you have seen all the source material.

*quote from Welles's "The Other Side of the Wind"

My review was written in January 1991 after watching the film on Concorde video cassette.

This threadbare sci-fi pic has the unusual locale of Peru to boast, but otherwise it's a forgettable effort released last year by Roger Corman's Concorde banner.

Dack Rambo brings little conviction to his reluctant hero role in another "Mad Max"-cloned universe. He's sent by The Company to a heavily irradiated district called Oblivion following World War III to secure zirconium mining rights.

Befriended by mutant heroine Clare Beresford, he gradually begins to identify with the downtrodden inhabitants of Oblivion. By film's end he has thrown in his lot with them and maneuvered it so the outside world won't exploit them overmuch.

Corny pic involves a gladiatorial contest reminiscent of "Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome" but executed on a low budget. Film is far too tame for its target audience and has poor makeup effects, such as phony-looking false ears worn by the mutants.

Rambo's haircut is designed to remind us of Harrison Ford in "Blade Runner", but the resemblance ends there. Some or the local supporting cast is dubbed into English, which negates the impact of the villain played by Orlando Sacha.