Hangmen

This movie is from the 80s, but it looks like it was made in the stone age. The effects are way too cheesy. My copy has Sandra Bullock on the cover, which was why I bought the movie. She was in the movie for about 5 minutes of total screentime. She would most likely deny all involvement.

In short, there is no part of this movie worth seeing, except to laugh at how bad it sucks. Rent this to see the worst film ever made, bar none.

This movie is #1 in the list of worst movies I have ever seen, with "Lessons for an Assassin" on the #2 spot.

The acting is lousy (sorry, Sandra Bullock, but even your performance was horrible!), the music score could have come from a bad x-rated movie and the story was downright ridiculous. It had this in common with a typical action movie: the dialogues were short and consisted mainly of one-syllable words. But contrary to the average action movie, there was no real action in this one. Boring.

The only reason I continued watching it was in the hopes that at one point, there would be at least one interesting scene in this movie ...

Thumbs down on this one.

You don't find movies like this anymore. These are the kind of films that really take you back, transport you to an entirely different time and place. The world revealed in this film is so far gone and so out of our range, that movies like these are almost an historical artifact. This separation from our time is what makes films like these so interesting. Not every day do you get to see how old-time computers worked, and it's amazing that Danny's dad was able to send him a message on his computer console through the phone line (basically the precursor of texting, probably something that phone phreaks used to do). I love any movies that show computer terminal text, as it gives a glimpse into the development of the Unix system, the ancestors of modern day Mac OS and Linux. Also, not every day does one see old Conan the Barbarian posters-which papers Danny's dorm room. One also gets a glimpse of a hot babe swimsuit model poster - and it's not Farrah Fawcett either!

The film is basically about a boy, Danny Greene, whose father, Rob, is an (ex-)CIA agent, and whom he never sees, since Rob and Danny's mother are apparently divorced. Rob just wants a relationship with his son, a thing that Danny does not want, as he feels hurt from his father's absence in his life up to that point (Danny doesn't know what his dad did for a living). Rob reaches out to Danny to spend more time with him now that Danny is almost done with college, and wants to hunt and fish, offers that Danny refuses, as he is not interested in such activities. Nonetheless, assassins are out to get Rob. Rob urgently sends Denny a message on the phone line system mentioned above to not trust anyone and to find someone named Dog Thompson. Hooked already?

The bad guys intercept the data message transferred over the phone line (encrypt your messages). While Danny is gone, they send a hit-woman posing as an escort to his room, who seduces and slays his roommate. Da fuq? Now, they are watching him from every angle and have him cornered. Can Danny escape?

He runs to his mom's place. Suddenly there is a knock at the door. "Please mom, don't answer that," Danny pleads. But too late, mom doesn't believe him, and suddenly two "firemen" who need to do a fire inspection are at the door, and inside the house. They take out Bowie knives and slay his mom. He hides under the bed, then runs out. Will they find him? You'll have to watch to find out!

This movie may have the only instance of a first-person, POV shot of a man holding a gun, i.e., the camera is at the rear of the gun, and shows the hands holding it, just like Halo style. If not, Halo got it's inspiration from this movie.

The gratuitous violence in this movie is off the charts; each character seems to be shot with at least 20 shots. It's hard to generalize, but this movie seems more violent than many modern movies, including Tarantino; although I haven't seen the Crank or John Wick series. This movie also reinforces for me the idea that guys in the '80s loved guns--guns, guns, guns. This film spots the most intense and large number of guns of all styles, tiny ones, big ones, and all sizes in between. There is one extended scene where Rob has to go to a crime boss to purchase a large amount of weapons, and another where members of the good guys squad bring in an AR to a diner and show it to the waiter, who fondles it for many minutes even as other customers come in. Apparently, in the '80s it was common fare for waiters to examine guns in restaurants. You don't see so many automatic guns like this in movies these days. At other times, it almost feels like a horror movie (e.g., the firemen scene). You gotta give '80s movies their due; if not anything, '80s movies had a lot of guts and gusto.

This movie obviously wasn't well-known, as it seems it went straight to video in the US, whereas in Brazil it actually opened in theatres. Despite its flaws, this film is a great addition to one's VHS collection, especially those that like the '80s, like movies in the DIE HARD/SILENT TRIGGER vein, or want to see retro-tech involved in an espionage/assassin-type plot.

Notable only as the acting debut of future big-time Hollywood starlet, Sandra Bullock, this ludicrous action flick is so full of holes that one might easily suspect termite infestation. The storyline is incomprehensible and very poorly thought out. The production values stink of cheese. In fact, a total LACK of production values would have been better...at least the film might have seemed grittier that way. The ADR is laughably bad and omni-present in the film. It's debatable as to whether or not ANY of the dialogue tracks from the actual shoot were used.

The performances are, for the most part, horrible, though there are a few exceptions. In those exceptions, however, the performances are undermined by the fact that the director was obviously giving the actors poor direction and making them act completely out of character at times. (i.e. characters going from passive to panicked in the blink of an eye. Bad Direction.) Also, the constant "weapon sound effects" (magazines being loaded, slides being cocked, etc.) are completely overused and, more often than not, totally out of sync with the on-screen actions. Add to this cheesy "Bad Guy" vocal distortion for the lead villain (mainly so that you KNOW he's the villain in this incomprehensible mess of a film), and you have a recipe for disaster.

The situations in the film go well beyond standard "suspension of disbelief" and become downright laughable. One lead character spends a good portion of the film tied to a chair before he DECIDES to use the butterfly knife tucked in his sock in order to free himself. So, my questions are...why didn't he do this sooner, and why does he even HAVE the butterfly knife. He wasn't searched? RIGHT. This is one of a hundred examples of completely ludicrous situations which have somehow been crammed into this 90-minute package.

In whole, "The Hangmen" plays like an unbearably bad R-rated TV movie from the '80s. If not for the subsequent success of Sandra Bullock, this would have NEVER found its way to DVD. But it has, so my only advice is to steer clear. Watching this film may actually impair your IQ.

But certainly a serious contender for one of the worst 10 of all time.

I got this DVD cheap, with Sandra Bullock as headliner on the case. This is false advertising - she's on-screen for almost 10 minutes of the movie.

On the other hand, there was no other selling point for this movie - the dialog was horrible, the editing was apparently done by someone who was strung out on Quaaludes, the directing was ... well, let's just say that my 14-yo daughter could do better, but I hope she never sees such faint praise from me. It's possible that the family cat could have done better.

Sandra does a creditable job for a first film, in the short time she's on-screen - and that's the only redeeming quality of this film. Stupid story, poorly written, and transferred to film as only a 7th-grade Media class should be able to do.

In short, this is dreck.