Espiritismo infernal

Jag Mundhra's second stab at the slasher film (after 1987's snooze OPEN HOUSE) isn't an '80s Halloween-season classic like TRICK OR TREAT or NIGHT OF THE DEMONS, but schlocky horror fans will probably have a good time with it.

Hy Pyke (what a name!) is delightfully over-the-top as the grandfather (who is described as 'kindly' in the IMDb summary, but you're never given the impression he's anything but a scumbag) hell-bent on getting his eldest grandson to devote himself to his Satanic cult, a lame-o group that flash gang signs to each other and wear flannels under their devil robes. Meanwhile, someone in the cult is randomly killing people, and it's up to the other grandson, a boyishly handsome cop, to figure out what the hell is going on.

It's gorier than a lot of the slashers from this time period (though the body count is low), and just about every female cast member gets naked at some point (except, bafflingly, the most attractive one). Most of the leads have fun with their silly roles. It feels super padded, even at 90 minutes, what with random five-minute glam metal dream sequences and a head-scratching, unfunny stand-up comedy routine that grinds all the Satanic action to a halt.

Watchable for sure, whether or not it's worth watching could go either way. Don't spend too long tracking it down, but you could watch way worse.

The print I watched for this write-up was the British version, released on the 'Braveworld' label titled 'THE DAMNING'. Now if you were to see the cover in your local video shop, and read the blurb printed on the back. You could be rightly forgiven for thinking that this owed more to ROSEMARY'S BABY than it does ROSEMARY'S KILLER. But the silly satanic sheen is just a bad attempt to hide a routine plot for a whodunit / slasher. And not an extremely good one at that!

In the beginning, we are introduced to a typical 'house on the prairie' type family who apparently (or so it states on the cover) have a shocking secret lurking beneath their normal exterior. It looks like good old Granpa (Hy Pyke) belongs to a satanic cult and he seems pretty intent on his young Grandson Tommy (Gregory Scott Cummings) becoming a part of it too. The only person who knows of the evil old man's plans is Amanda (Katina Garner) and she confides in her husband Bill (Michael Potts) who bravely (and foolishly) suggests: "I'll go and confront him myself". She begs him not to, warning him that it's Halloween and he "shouldn't go there tonight". Now what good would a horror film be, if the odd hapless and innocent person didn't ignore a dire and harsh warning like that? The answer: not very good at all; so the somewhat confused 'have a go hero' husband sets of into the night to set the record straight. Of course it doesn't go at all how poor old Bill expected it to, and he ends up being brutally cremated in his own car with a claw hammer sticking out of his forehead! Now did you guess that was going to happen! So far so run of the mill. Roll on thirteen years, and young Tommy is, well...no longer so young and surprisingly enough his complexion and hair color have completely changed as well! We soon find out that tonight is 'his night' and he will finally be initiated into the mysterious and murderous cult. It also seems that there are two other major events occurring in that quiet remote town. The first one being a fancy dress party (hows that for cliche). And for the second a psychopathic killer in a cape and devil mask is going round freely executing people with the sharpest point of a trident! Now obviously every character and their Grandma featured in the flick have their own personnel reason(s) for wanting to chop people up. But it's you the lucky viewer's job to see if you can guess who the assassin is...

Somehow I just knew how this film was going to be before I had even watched it. I know a cheap flick when I see one and THE DAMNING is definitely just that! The crew behind the production of this typical late eighties genre addition seem to be incredibly proud of the fact that they've got Hy Pyke (who had a small part in BLADE RUNNER) in their movie, a fact that is emphasized by placing his name above the title. I can't understand why, he's a terrible actor. But then again, I guess that just made him feel more at home with the rest of the cast, in other words none of them got invited to the Oscars that particular year! They unconvincingly chat away their lines as if they've just finished learning them over a cuppa. Over and under dramatising as much as humanly possible. At the same time, a pathetic score - which, sounds like it was knocked up in five minutes on the local church keyboard - accompanies them. Director Mundhra (who also helmed OPEN HOUSE) attempts to make things trendy by sticking a silly hard rock video half way through, that would even make the most avid metal fan reach for his ear plugs. And when that's finally over, it's not long before it's 'plug in' time yet again as another 'never to be heard of after' group of young rockers take centre stage at the fancy dress party. Ah, yes...the fancy dress party, which is also the film's somewhat leisurely paced climax. Now has anyone else noticed who it's become almost customary for a cheesy slasher flick to have one of these friendly gatherings? I mean, think about it: DEAD KIDS, GIRL'S NITE OUT, DON'T OPEN TIL CHRISTMAS and KILLER PARTY. Need I go on. All the usual ingredients are here including loads of silly costumes, even sillier revelers, the rock band I mentioned before, the unfunny practical joker (who miraculously survives it intact!) and of course the psycho who finds his/her own source of entertainment in walking round and dispatching of people in the most gruesome means imagineable. And when you think you've survived the worst of the cheese, the corny ending springs up unannounced and just goes on to add insult to injury.

To be fair HALLOWEEN NIGHT has the odd enjoyable moment in a cheapo kind of way. It manages not to get too tedious and even chucks in some amusement just for good measure. In one scene one unlucky victim who thinks the masked killer's her boyfriend, strips naked, closes her eyes and cheerily asks "are you gonna surprise me?" Lets just say that I bet she was more than surprised at what happened next. There's also a fun bit of gore to brighten up our screens (although ten seconds was edited in the UK print) including one man getting a shovel 'dug deep' into his head. But still, unfortunately HALLOWEEN NIGHT can't help but feel extremely cheap and somewhat rushed. It's worth watching if you can take it with a pinch of salt. But be warned the only similarities between this and HALLOWEEN are those in the title!

A grandpa (Hy Pyke) tries to lure his grandson Tommy (Gregory Scott Cummins) into his group of Satanic worshippers.

Forget Hereditary (2018): Hack-o-lantern is a lot more fun.

Instead of confusing slow-burn horror, we get cheesy '80s goodness that moves at a fair lick.

Instead of drab, washed out cinematography, we get a vibrant Halloween setting.

Instead of miserable characters, we get a colourful collection of likeable fashion disasters.

Sure, the acting is less than perfect, and the direction by Jag Mundhra (the man responsible for forgettable slasher Open House) is basic, but the film more than makes up for this with some bloody killings, more than its fair share of gratuitous female nudity (the three Bs... boobs, butts and bush), and several 'WTF?' moments guaranteed to bring on the giggles.

Pick your jaw up off the floor as dirty ol' grandpa fondles his own daughter's tits on her wedding day.

Witness Tommy popping on his headphones to listen to some metal on his weather-proof Walkman. As he closes his eyes, we are privy to his thoughts: an MTV-style music video nightmare in which a band plays heavy rock while a woman fires laser bolts from her eyes and severs Tommy's head. Hilarious.

Wonder what the hell is going on as a woman strips naked at a Halloween party while a man outside breaks into an impromptu stand-up comedy routine.

And don't forget to play my Hack-o-lantern drinking game: a shot for every time someone throws the 'devil horns' hand gesture.

\m/ ( - - ) \m/

Hack-O-Lantern (1988)

** (out of 4)

Extremely bizarre horror film about a Grandpa (Hy Pyke) who is the leader of a Satanic cult and who wants his oldest grandson Tommy (Gregory Scott Cummins) to take over.

HACK-L-LANTERN has a terrific title but sadly it's not really a holiday classic. It's certainly not in the same league as HALLOWEEN or even TRICK OR TREAT for that matter but the film has enough strange moments to make it worth viewing and especially if you're a fan of the 80's low-budget horrors.

Director Jag Mundhra had made OPEN HOUSE the year before and there's no question that this here is a major step up. The film lacks any real money but I will give the director a lot of credit because the film looks very professional and it certainly looks like a "real" film unlike so many of the low-budget movies from this period. Another major plus is that the death scenes are rather gory. There aren't too many of them but when they happen they are impressive and fun. Finally, the biggest benefit is that just about all of the ladies are willing to get naked so there's a lot of T&A scattered throughout the picture.

As far as the problems go, there's certainly a major issue with the pacing. I'd also argue that the setting just didn't seem right as it really didn't make me feel as if it was really Halloween. With the lack of a good setting it also caused the film to have any sort of atmosphere. Some of the performances were really, really bad and some of the dialogue was even worse. The main sister's boyfriend is especially bad.

With all of that said, if you're a fan of low-budget horror movies then HACK-O-LANTERN is worth watching but it's certainly not a good picture.

Really, really bad, but hilarious in that way that only cheesy 80's slashers can be. With the way the mother acts, this could have been taken as a light satire on the whole 'sex drugs and rock n roll' thing but I genuinely doubt there was any such self reflection present in the making of this movie. In fact I don't think there was a single joke the entire running length but I still found myself laughing pretty often. Well, other than when that comedian came out at the party. I wasn't laughing then. Bad acting, bad dialogue, bad sets, bad cinematography. Classic case of 'so bad its good'... but not too good.