Ghost Fever

I LOVE THIS FILM!! This movie has everything: A breakdancing ghost, Hemsley in a dual role, Luis Avalos in a hot tub with a sexy ghost. The plot is fairly simple. Avalos and Hemsley (Who swears a lot for a PG film) must investigate a mansion haunted by a ghost of a plantation owner who is also a vampire who runs a zombie factory. Made in 1987, feels like 1982, but don't let that discourage you. It gets a little slow when it turns into a boxing film, but the SHOCKING ending will have you wondering if this was ever meant for kids. Rent it. Buy it. request your local Art House theater to show it on your birthday.

Alan Smithee strikes again. Yes, after watching "Ghost Fever" you'll see why this popular pseudonym (in placed for Lee Madden) was used. "Ghost Fever" is very corny and boisterous, but a very misguided slapstick low-budget horror comedy with little in the way laughs, but filled with constant annoyance and stupidity in the sketches. Well actually, I was somewhat amused by it. Not that I found it funny, but at least it didn't bore me. I guess that's got to count for something. Two cops, Buford and Benny are sent to a supposedly rundown southern plantation to evict the residents of the Victorian mansion. However to their surprise the occupants happen to be ghosts and they have no intention of leaving. Story-wise it's a slight, farcical and chaotic sideshow. There's not much of a story thread, as it's a one-idea joke with randomly staged set-pieces looking for nothing more than a laugh and to set-up the very next out-there, if clichéd haunted house situation to help move the film forward. But some things which do happen at the back-end, feel breezy and spontaneous with no real thought behind it but to simply to throw it out there. A vampire, zombies and a boxing match finds its way in the make up. Sherman Hemsley and Luis Avalos in the leads are comically silly in a very forced manner, but mildly agreeable. Also turning up is Myron Healey, Jennifer Rhodes and a cameo role for boxer Joe Frazier. The production looks cheap, as the special effects are gawky and filled with colourful lights to go along with the exaggeratedly decorated direction. Some moments do manage to install a bit of atmosphere. Plus you gotta love that catchy theme song.

"We dead people sure know how to live."

Comedy with its moments of comedy even if calling it a decent movie is an almost correct judgment. It is not so bad as to be memorable but it strives not to fall into the most desecrating ugliness.

GHOST FEVER is possibly one of the greatest bad movies ever made. MADE might be too strong of a word - regurgitated and somewhat spliced together in an editing bay is maybe more apropos. Hemsley had a lot of faith in this Ghostbusters-like rip-off and it tanked big time and messy lawsuits followed btwn Hemsley and the producers. The director, Lee Madden was so aghast at the finished product he took his name off and they slapped on the infamous Alan Smithee credit. The script is credited to three hacks and the script is truly awful. Terrible. Sucky. Not one good joke. Plenty of groin and crotch humor and a truly offensive scene where they find machines in the basement of a Southern mansion that were used on slaves. One of the machines (which of course Hemsley gets trapped in) has two large hammers coming down close to the person's groin while a device is twirled into their backside (supposedly to give them rhythm!!!) Yikes. Oddly though Hemsley seems to turn over lots of the movie to his co-star Luis Avalos and Avalos gives one of the worst "comedic" performances ever captured on film. His double takes fail, his funny faces, his "fear" of the ghosts, his physical comedy - all of it fails. Yet, because the movie is jawdroppingly incompetent, it is cruelly enjoyable. You keep getting shocked by another terrible set piece. Like when a mummy appears wearing shades a bow-tie and a top hat and proceeds to BREAK DANCE. Then Hemsley and Avalos do a dance number and then when you are begging the movie to end there is a looooong boxing scene where Avalos boxes Smokin Joe Frazier (this scene goes on and on and has not one funny moment). A true cinematic nightmare. Seek it out if you DARE!!!

I was telling a friend of mine about the time my grandfather actually picked this horrible piece of crap for us to see one night at the theater. He never picked another one again! It was that bad! Anyway, my friend then told me that her father did some of the writing for this garbage. I thought she was kidding. It turns out, she was serious. She had never actually seen it, and she said that it put a quick halt to her father's writing career. I told her not to waste her time. But, if she did actually break down and watch it, she would see within the fist minute why this ended her father's days as a writer. I mean, even for the 1980's, this crap is bad beyond description. I mean, Joe Frazier as Terrible Tucker? And why in the world would two cops care one bit about a house full of ghosts? And the movie poster? A ghost with his tongue hanging out? What is that about? Nothing about this makes any sense. Well, I told my friend that this crap not only ended her father's writing career, it ended the careers of everybody involved. Or, at least none of them ever fully recovered from being in this garbage of a movie. Let's just say that I will forever ridicule my friend for revealing to me that her father was a writer for this movie! That alone should tell just how bad this is!