G.I. Joe: Arise, Serpentor, Arise!

Well, for those of us that remember the comic books more than the cartoon...watching it again is super confusing. And the military ranks seem to make no sense. Duke is in charge, and he's a Master Sergent...and he's in charge over Lieutenant Falcon.

Falcon is an O2, Duke only an E8, it should really be the other way around, right? Or was it inspired by Oliver Stone's Platoon?

Who cares, it also has a man dressed as a snake flying around on a regal throne thing...with lazers.

And in typical GI Joe cartoon fashion no one dies...and that was likely because of the trauma Transformers caused me and so many other children.

Really, honestly, it's just an absolutely awesome and insanely high quality cartoon that the adult can enjoy for more than nostalgic reasons.

I'll betcha I watched this film 25 times when I was 11 or 12. I actually didn't get into G. I. Joe at a very young age like many people from my generation. I was always more a Star Wars and Ninja Turtles kinda guy (kid). Somewhere along the line, I was introduced to the Marvel Comics G.I. Joe saga and realized just how genius and complex the storyline was. Larry Hama (whom can be found on this site for the three or four things he's acted in) is an excellent writer and I wish he'd work on more. However, the cartoon was always far less superior to the comic, and even this, which is one of the better stories for the cartoon, is not even close to the comic. Still, I believe any person who was a fan of G.I. Joe growing up might get a kick out of watching this. It is available on DVD now, though I have to wonder how easy it is to find. A little known fact about this film is that Duke originally died from Serpentor's snake. Larry Hama never liked the Duke character and Hasbro gave the cartoonists permission to kill off the character. However, the public outcry from Optimus Primes death in the Transformers film forced the filmmakers to alter the dialog so that it would say he went into a coma.

The first five episodes of G.I. Joe's second season make up this "movie," featuring the introduction of many new characters for Joe and Cobra, including the title villain. The plot has evil Cobra scientist Dr. Mindbender using DNA from historical conquerors (including Genghis Khan, Napoleon Bonaparte, and Alexander the Great) to create a new leader for Cobra, since Mindbender and Destro are fed up with Cobra Commander. The experiment is a success (sort of) and the new Cobra leader, Serpentor, leads Cobra in a takeover of Washington, D.C. But the Joes, of course, are there to save the day.

We're introduced to a lot of new characters here. One of the main complaints from non-fans about '80s cartoons like G.I. Joe is that they were just advertisements for the toys. In some ways that's true but I always felt the writing and characters rose above any crass commercialism that was behind the production of the series. That being said, it's hard to argue this isn't all about marketing new action figures (and vehicles). The new Cobras include the aforementioned Serpentor and Dr. Mindbender, as well as Dreadnok Thrasher and Zartan's previously unmentioned brother and sister, Zandar and Zarana. The new Joes introduced include General Hawk, Beachhead, Sci Fi, Lifeline, and Sgt. Slaughter (yes, the wrestler). As a kid, I hated Sgt. Slaughter's addition to the team and I especially hated how he was 'Super Joe,' able to take on a whole squad of B.A.T.s (battle android troopers) alone. No female Joes in this one, for some reason. No Lady Jaye and no Scarlett. The only females are on the Cobra side, Zarana and (briefly) Baroness. Also missing are some of my favorite characters, like Storm Shadow, Quick Kick, and Spirit. Even Snake Eyes is pushed into the background. Who needs a super cool ninja commando when you have a pro wrassler body slamming the bad guys? Well, me, for one!

Too much focus on lame new characters is the biggest negative about this one. Still, Mindbender's plot is a cool concept (executed much better in the comic book series). The best parts are episodes 2 and 3, with Cobra gathering the DNA for Serpentor and the Joes trying to stop them. The first episode is too focused on introducing the new guys. Episode 4 is too Slaughter heavy and episode 5 suffers from the presence of Serpentor, the tool of tools. The animation and voice work are good for the era. The exception being Sgt. Slaughter, who does his own voice and grates on the nerves fast. One of the more annoying aspects of this new season and direction was the constant shouting of Slaughter and Serpentor. Neither character ever dropped below a 9 out of 10 on the intense scale. It was ridiculous. Anyway, this is not a good jumping-on point if you are new to G.I. Joe. Definitely check out the superior first season and mini-series first, then start this. This season leads into the theatrical movie, which suffered from many of the same problems as this.

Due to Cobra Commander's continued incompetence as military leader, Dr. Mindbender and Destro hatch a plot to create the ultimate tyrant by combining the DNA of history's greatest conquerors (a concept which predated the similarly-themed Jurassic Park by a decade). The Joes launch an all-out defense of the crypts of Genghis Khan, Sun Tzu, Alexander the Great, and even Vlad the Impaler (Dracula), amongst others, taking them--as usual--all over the world to thwart Cobra's plans.

Unlike the previous G.I. Joe mini-series, this one tends to become somewhat redundant in the second act, as Joe and Cobra clash fangs time and again at grave after grave. Save for that minor liability, the story is intense, replete with humorous dialogue and memorable action sequences.

From the opening showdown against Cobra's new Battle Android Troopers (BATS) to Serpentor's megalomaniacal assault on Washington, D.C., this G.I. Joe adventure more than satisfies. In a cartoon filled with fascinating characters, with admirable heroes and redoubtable villains alike, the new Cobra leader is a welcome addition.