Cuentos macabros

Seen much better Anthology horror films than this. Worth a watch but do not get your hopes up.

Bongzilla should make an appearance prior to watching.

Three stories, only one is good, the others are okay. The gimmick of twisted fairy tales is stretched a bit, but works well enough. Where it falls apart is with the framing device and the last story, which is so hokey and over the top that it almost ruins the movie. The middle one is the best with the first one being a solid meh. Still worth seeing as a whole, but there are far better anthologies.

My review was written in May 1986 after a Cannes Film Festival Market screening.

"Dead Time Stories", originally titled "Freaky Fairy Tales", is an unsatisfactory horror comedy in three segments. Only audienced is diehard fans for special makeup effects.

Structure closely resembles that of "Creepshow", with a little boy demanding that his uncle recite scary bedtime stories to help him go to sleep.

Only the first tale is effective: a low-budget but interesting to look at medieval story of Peter (Scott Valentine), a fisherman's son sold into slavery to two witches. He saves a girl they intend to sacrifice in order to conjure back to life their warlock brother (using remains of his heart fetched from his grave). Makeup effects are very impressive here as the heart gradually recreates the whole body by spouting blood vessels, sinews and red creeping flesh in an amazing set piece. Half-hour story also features a funny trick ending.

The following two segments of "Dead Time Stories" are truly terrible and a test of any audience's endurance. Part Two has the story of Red Riding Hood updated to the present with Rachel (Nicole Picard) as a sey girl in red jogging togs who goes to the drugstore to fetch Maalox for her granny. The Maalox is accidentally mixed up with a drug fix for wolf Willie, who is a sleazebag as well as a werewolf. He bites, and kills granny when he goes to her house to exchange the drugstore parcels and is in turn done in by resourceful Rachel. Guess what Granny turns into?

Idiiotic finale revamps the "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" tale into sophomoric slapstick. Goldie (Cathryn De Prume) is a blonde with a big chest who killed her parents at age eight, followed by other killing sprees. She's just escaped from an insane asylum as have Mr. Baer and his lame-brained son, sprung from stir by Ma Ma Baer (Melissa Leo). The four of them team up and fight it out with the local cops. Oddest element of this amateurish segment is the casting of Melissa Leo, a talented young actres, with black wig and some makeup as the matriarch with an adult son.

Technical credits and acting are weak throughout.

Three fairy tales are given ghoulish twists in what should have been a homerun for the horror genre. However, a slack production and a director who seems confused as to handle the stories sink it. Tale one, a romantic horror fantasy with attractive leads and a lush score is a moderate success compared to the other tales.

A little boy begs his uncle to tell him bedtime stories. The uncle does, but gives them all macabre twists in this fair-to-middling anthology film.

"Peter And The Witches" is about a young man (Scott Valentine) who is a slave to two witches. This segment is slow and almost plot less.

"Little Red Runninghood" has a high school girl in a red jogging outfit picking up medicine for her sick grandma at the drug store. She's given the wrong prescription, and the man the medicine belongs to has a very special reason for needing it before the full moon (hint, hint). You'll guess the punchline, but it's still a funny segment.

"Goldi Lox And The Three Baers" is a very broad, very black comedy about a telekinetic young woman (the very sexy Catheryn DePrume) and a homicidal family - Papa Baer, Mama Baer and Baby Baer - that team up together and go on a crime spree. Sort of a R rated Looney Tunes cartoon, this is the best segment of the film.

Perhaps not the best horror anthology around, it's still amusing in spots. Apparently this movie was shot over the course of four years. The British title is Freaky Fairy Tales.