Mata payaso, mata

Prior to watching Director Bill Rebane's opus, BLOOD HARVEST, it helps to know a little about it's star, Tiny Tim. He might not be the main star, but he's definitely the one you'll remember, whether you want to or not.

If you are old enough to remember him during his "heyday", plucking at his ukelele and warbling his way through the 1970s talk show circuit, you already know what to expect. However, if you are too young to know who he is / was, then it is recommended that you do a bit of research on this extremely odd, some might say, annoying character.

In any case, the fact that Tiny Tim owned his own clown suit, and was ready to go after meeting Mr. Rebane for the first time, tells us all we really need to know.

BLOOD HARVEST is among Mr. Rebane's highest achievements in the annals of schlock filmmaking. It has every ingredient necessary to make it a classic.

The only characters in the film that need to be mentioned are the aforementioned Mr. Tim, and the lovely Itonia Salchek, who plays the lovely Jill (she shows a lot of her loveliness here!). Sadly, Ms. Salchek mysteriously went missing after making this, her one and only movie. People have been trying to find her for years.

The plot of BLOOD HARVEST is about a series of murders around the time that Jill's father becomes responsible for dispossessing a lot of local farmers. Jill's friends soon start disappearing, while Mervo the Clown (TT) lurks around looking and acting completely nuts.

Not a bad way to spend a late-late night of mindless movie viewing...

I just watched this fave old horror movie of mine, Blood Harvest, in its DVD incarnation.

Do NOT buy this DVD, unless you can't get this movie elsewhere.

(And, yes, tho IMDB doesn't show it, Amazon is offering a DVD version of Blood Harvest for around $13 as of today, 9-20-03.)

This is edited in AT LEAST two key scenes. First of all, in the famous shower scene, Jill gets forced out of the shower when a "mysterious stranger" turns off the cold water. In my recorded-from-cable VHS version, an additional short scene shows Jill not only jump out, but grab a towel and flash a brief, but lovely, full frontal - and if you're familiar with the movie, you know the character Jill is especially gorgeous.

That's gone from the DVD. It shows the brief, unrevealing dash from the shower, then cut to Jill wearing a robe in the kitchen.

The scene of her friend hung upside down in the barn, stripped to lingerie, then her throat slit: on the DVD version, the portion where the girl's throat is slit, followed by a brief-but-gory squirting blood shot, is gone entirely from the DVD. Only a brief flash of the dead girl is shone.

There's more missing, but I haven't noted everything because of my extreme disappointment, and because I was too ticked not to get this review out and stop some poor soul from buying it.

Worse, the picture quality varies tremendously from the beginning (almost looks 3rd generation videotape), to almost passable high video tape quality. Nothing APPROACHING typical DVD quality, even for old films transferred.

In the credits, it mentions "International Director's Cut", or some such. What baloney. The film looks like religious censors when after it with hedge trimmers.

You've been warned.

Wait 'til late night cable shows it again, and record it on a good new tape or DVD.

This is a ripoff pressing, and I'm one of the suckers. Luckily, it was low price. But I'll continue watching my uncut, nearly as good picture (and warmer colors) VHS tape of 13 years.

This review DEFINITELY refers to the DVD version.

A young woman (Itona Salochek) comes back from college to find her parents missing and their home vandalized. She suspects the worst since her dad was in charge of foreclosing on local farms for the bank. The local sheriff is less than helpful though (he's much more interested in his softball league). Meanwhile, she finds herself the object of rather obsessive attention from her former childhood boyfriend and his oddball, mentally challenged brother (Tiny Tim) who sings creepy songs and dresses up like clown (the "Marvelous Mervo").

For some reason, slasher fans don't seem to care for this movie, perhaps because the first murder doesn't occur until some forty minutes in. They're certainly suitably bloody though with victims being tied up upside-down and their throats slit so they can be bled like pigs. There's also a lot of time for character development, which in the case of Ms. Salochek fortunately means many long, completely gratuitous, full-frontal nude scenes (She's actually not that attractive with her clothes on, but wait until she takes them off. Wow!) This is also kind of an unusual setting for a slasher movie. If John Cougar Mellencamp ever made a horror movie it might look something like this. The director, Bill Rebane, is one of these guys who can't really be called "good" or "talented", but his movies are always interesting. He once dressed a VW Bug up as a giant spider in "The Giant Spider Invasion". "The Capture of Bigfoot" was one of the most wacko of many wacko 70's bigfoot movies. "The Demons of Ludlow" was the touching story of a small Midwestern town and their demonically-possessed grand piano. This movie is pretty much the same way, especially considering the main stars were a never-to-be-seen-again Eastern European actress who can't keep her clothes on for five minutes, and Tiny Tim, a VERY odd folk singer from the late 1960's. (He's surprisingly good though).

It does have its flaws. It's pretty slow in places, and the identity of the killer is pretty obvious as there are only two or three possible suspects (and one them is the reddest herring imaginable). Still, I saw this movie back-to-back with "Nail Gun Massacre", a movie slasher-movie fans really rave about, but I liked this one far better. Recommended, no matter what anyone else says.

Extremely odd flick about a young woman (Itonia Salochek) who returns from college to discover that her parents are missing. Her neighbors are none other than preppy Dean West and his brother played by that lovable minstrel Tiny Tim, who may or may not know what has happened. Meanwhile, a masked killer slaughters whoever comes near the woman and just who it is becomes more and more obvious to the viewer past the first thirty minutes. Despite being notorious for Tiny Tim's one and only starring feature, this film is comprised mostly of hopeless time filler. Tiny Tim is fairly decent, however, as the creepy clown-faced weirdo who skulks around the farm. In fact it's his antics, Salochek's abundant nude scenes, and relatively realistic special effects which save this less than thrilling time waster. The only really effective scene is the opening sequence; featuring Tiny Tim squawking a tune in the dark. That's guaranteed to make your skin crawl in any film.

Blood Harvest (1987)

** (out of 4)

Jill (Itonia Salchek) returns home to her parent's farm in Wisconsin and she quickly learns that the town people aren't too happy with them. She also soon realizes that both of them are missing and before long she and her friends come under attack by a masked maniac who enjoys cutting throats. Is it the mentally disturbed Mervo (Tiny Tim)?

Director Bill Rebane (THE GIANT SPIDER INVASION) apparently saw TIny Tim at a local fair and decides to pitch him on the idea of appearing in a slasher film. Apparently Tim liked the idea or perhaps he needed the money but either way the end result is a rather interesting slasher and one that for the most part is entertaining.

If you're expecting a masterpiece or some sort of high art then you're going to be disappointed because BLOOD HARVEST clearly wears its low-budget. The various trappings of low-budget horror films from this era are on full display but if you're a fan of the genre then you know that you just have to deal with those. Outside of that there's a fairly interesting movie here that works on several levels.

For starters, I actually thought the story itself was good enough for this type of film and I really enjoy the lead character even though the screenplay allows her to do some rather stupid things. I thought the entire set-up was decent and I'd argue that the settings were good. The film also offers up some good gore effects as long as you're watching the uncut version. Apparently the director went back and edited out some gore and nudity when he was running for office (?!?!?) so be sure you get the complete version.

The film also offers up quite a bit of nudity from lead actress Itonia Salchek and that's certainly not a bad thing. In fact, I must say that I thought she delivered a good and fun performance. As I said, there are countless low-budget issues here but I thought the actress helped make the film entertaining. The supporting players are decent but, again, the low-budget leads to some less- than-wonderful performances. With that said, seeing Tiny Tim in this kind of movie just adds a whole new atmosphere that you won't find in any other slasher.

BLOOD HARVEST isn't a masterpiece and it's certainly not a classic. It's not even a "good" movie but if you're a fan of the genre then it's certainly worth watching and I think the film rightfully deserves its cult following.