Assault of the Killer Bimbos

Even in the rarefied air of b-movies this is a stinker. Unlike the work of the fun B directors (H. G. Lewis, Fred Olen Ray, Al Adamson, even Ed Wood) this commits the cardinal sin of being boring. There's no energy, style or fun to this movie. It's just a tedious, drawn-out chase plot featuring three scantily clad women, of whom only Elizabeth Kaitan is worth a second look. (It's no coincidence that she's the only of the three who subsequently had any sort of career.) Even the bad actors (and there are plenty) are boring. Only Kaitan and supergeek Eddie Deezen bring anything to this party. The picture also deserves special mention for two of the lamest performances ever given by famous actors' offspring in one movie, courtesy of Griffin O'Neal and Nick Cassavettes as zonked out surfers. How did this mess ever develop a cult following?

I can never understand those out there who " love B-movies" yet render actual expectations , rather high ones at that, for movies that clearly were not made to be taken seriously.. when you rent a movie called assault of the killer bimbos it's pretty obvious what your getting into. I admit there are those movies that are horrific camp,big-budget and other wise but this is not one of them. Hilarious one liners , and a very drug induced performance by Griffin O' Neal perk this classic to new heights ... I suggest renting it if your a true B-movie freak and/or just need a break from the next guaranteed big budget turd of year .....

After getting in an argument with their boss named "Shifty Joe" (David Marsh), two go-go dancers by the names of "Peaches" (Christina Whitaker) and "Lulu" (Elizabeth Kaitan) hear a gunshot and go to Shifty Joe's office to find out what's going on. When they get there the murderer named "Vinnie" (Mike Muscat) hands Lulu the gun and flees the scene. A moment later several people arrive in Shifty Joe's office and see his dead body and Lulu holding the gun. Unable to convince anyone that they are innocent they quickly make a break for it and head to Mexico in their car. Along the way they stop at a diner and when they are recognized they grab a waitress named "Darleen" (Tammara Souza) as a hostage and once again make a break for it. Now rather than reveal any more of this movie I will just say that for a low-budget "bimbo movie" this one wasn't too bad as the plot was mildly entertaining, the wardrobes were pretty nice and Elizabeth Kaitan was certainly attractive. On the flip side, the comedy wasn't exactly on the cutting edge and it could have used a bit more sex appeal than what was shown. Again, it wasn't a bad movie but even so it wasn't that great either. Accordingly, I rate it as just slightly below average.

Then you'd get this movie about 2 beautiful girls and Elizabeth Kaitan who go to Mexico to hide from the cops while being chased by the nerd from Grease. There the valley girls hook up with some surfer dudes. As if! I'm sure! Gag me with a spoon. Not enough nudity cause it was directed by a broad.

Lonely B-movie addicts seeking jag-off material, yet too timid to rent porn, should probably skip this title. There's hardly any sex or violence, and no used up Scream Queens. It does have three cute, working class girls on the lam from gangsters, red-neck chauvinists, and Eddie Deezen, beating a trail to Mexico. This sure sounds like Thelma and Louise, and there are scenes Thelma shamelessly lifted right out of Bimbos. Considering Bimbos probably had the same total budget as Ridley Scott had for cafe lattes, you have to admire this spunky little movie's quirky feminist ethos and originality. Elizabeth Kaiten is adorable. Three mariachis pretend to play instruments that have no bearing on the music, just like the Monkees. A blast.