Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold

"...makes Plan 9 from Outer Space look like Citizen Kane...(?)" C'mon. A bit of hyperbole now and then is OK but this comment is a bit overdone. Hey, I liked this movie. Dumb? Yep. Lousy script. Yep again. I would guess that H. Rider Haggard would be rolling in his grave at the considerably less than good job they did on this one. Is it dog? Likely. I think that not only James Earl Jones did it for the paycheck. I think Richard Chamberlain, Sharon Stone and Henry Silva did it for the paycheck too. But, then Chamberlain made the Towering Inferno, which was not only bad but boring, in which he played a bad guy. But, seriously folks, getting back to this amusing remake of King Solomon's Mines, you can't take this film seriously. Too bad, though. Being one who loves costume dramas, the script does leave some talented people with little to do but try and keep a straight face while stumbling through the action. Check it out for yourself.

This film is in truth a terrible movie, there is hardly any credible acting, even with a average cast involved. The humor is even more awful, and the film is a carbon copy rip-off of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. But this movie can still be enjoyed by just about anyone, even with the whole family. When I watched this, when I was little, on tape, I really didn't care how bad it was, and I enjoyed it, I still do, but now only to a certain magnitude. This movie is for anyone who loves cheap film flam movies, like godzilla, or the famous cheap kung-fu ones made during the Bruce Lee era (not saying of course Bruce Lee movies are this bad). In truth, I saw this movie before the King Solomon's mine one that precedes it, and this makes THAT movie look like a actual wonder of a movie, and if you like one star movies, give this one chance, it really isn't avoidable in appearance only in content. My rating a VERY respectable 2 out of 10.

Now... I have read everyone's reviews on how terrible this movie was. May I say... why? What is so terrible about it? No... you shouldn't take it too seriously. But, what in television should be scrutinized so much you can't even enjoy it? This movie has all the qualities I admire in a movie. Action, adventure, comedy, and the hint of a myth beyond the whole thing. All in all, it is an excellent movie.

Richard Chamberlain. Sharon Stone? James Earl Jones?? Cassandra "Elvira" Peterson??? Filled with laughs--some even intentional--and thrills--such as when the title card reads "The End". From Cannon Films, the house that Chuck Norris built. Strictly for those who enjoy such B-movie schlock, as I do.

Fun facts!... and opinions.

• Martin Rabbett, who played Quatermain's brother in the film, was actually Chamberlain's partner at the time (and for many years after). I didn't know this while watching the movie, but when the two finally meet up in the third act it's pretty clear Chamberlain has more chemistry with Rebbett than Sharon Stone.

• The music is essentially cut and pasted from the score Jerry Goldsmith did for the previous film, King Solomon's Mines. It's pretty obviously so at times, but the music itself is fantastic.

• It's more than a little painful to watch a dignified actor like James Earl Jones have to slum his way through thankless roles like these.

• Speaking of JEJ, during one scene his character is being mauled by a lion, and I'm %97.8 sure that his too obvious stunt double is Patti LaBelle.

• There's actually a character billed as "Toothless Arab". Funny thing is, that's like maybe only the 10th most politically incorrect thing in this movie.

There's bad movies, and then there's bad movies. And "Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Gold" fits in the B-movie criteria! Richard Chamberlin and Sharon Stone, before she was even a well-known actress play the protagonist explorers in Africa trying to look for Allan's lost brother and some treasure. Along the way the encounter savage natives and just the whole concept is just to embarrasing to explain! Even Richard Chamberlin and Sharon Stone looked embarrased to be in this movie! Guess they were just trying to earn a buck. This movie was even disliked by critics! Who could blame them?

This movie is great to watch with friends, that is if you want to do an MST3K thing while watching it. This movie should be listed in every B-movie book out there! It's so laughably stupid that it's a good movie to mock or induce vomiting whichever comes first! The title ought to be, "Allan Quatermain and the Lost City of Quaaludes"!