Échame la pelota, chica

If you folks remember that John Wayne/Donna Reed film Trouble Along The Way, Wayne is a divorced father living with his little daughter Sherry Jackson who has learned all about sports especially football from her dad who was a football coach. Imagine Sherry growing up to be Goldie Hawn and you have an idea of her character in Wildcats.

She wants to invade the male preserve of the boys sports because she knows a lot about the game, it comes naturally from her dad. But it isn't that simple and the only job she can get is in Principal Nipsey Russell's inner city school a really rough place.

Some future big names like Wesley Snipes and Woody Harrelson are some of Goldie's players. Best however is Tab Thacker one mountain of a kid critical to defense, but Thacker requires special motivation.

She also has custody issues with her most uptight ex-husband James Keach and his extremely prissy wife Jan Hooks. Those kids from her team try to help, but mess things up.

This one is really Goldie's show she has a fine comedy part with a bit of family drama thrown in. Basically because she has invaded that male holy of holys, the boy's locker room.

It's a good comedy, Goldie Hawn really shines.

I saw this on television once sometime on the late 1980s (I don't think the movie had been in theaters more than two or three years before). I liked it but haven't thought anything about it since. WILDCATS came on television this morning, and I started watching it to kill time before getting hooked on the goofy but likeable story. It is really a funny, cute movie.

First, let me say I am not a fan of football movies; however, I have enjoyed movies such as THE LONGEST YARD, NORTH DALLAS FORTY and AGAINST ALL ODDS (to name a few) where an interesting story and characters add life to an otherwise "sports film." Yes the football scenes are fun to watch, but what makes the movie truly watchable is the feeling Goldie adds to her character (like in PRIVATE BENJAMIN) plus the developing struggle between her ex-husband concerning her new career and raising of her children. Its predictable in many ways, but hey, it was nice to watch a movie that made me feel happy for a change (rather than depressed or confused as so many contemporary movies seem to do).

WILDCATS was a funny and entertaining comedy with Goldie Hawn at the top of her form as a high school track coach, who wants more than anything to coach football (her late father was a football coach). She finally gets the opportunity to coach a high school football team at a tough inner city high school where the majority of the students are Africa American or Latino. Of course, Goldie's Molly McGrath meets the obvious resentments from high school boys that you would expect finding out their new coach is a woman, but she does eventually win them over, even at the risk of losing custody of her two daughters to her uptight ex-husband (James Keach). Nothing new or inventive here but Goldie lights up the screen presenting a smart yet flawed character trying to live her dream. Nipsey Russell has one of the best roles of his career as the principal of the school that hires her and there are some very funny moments provided by the members of the team, especially Woody Harrelson, Nick Corri, and in a star-making turn, a very young Wesley Snipes. Bruce McGill scores as a sexist coach from the opposing school, Prescott and Jan Hooks has some cute moments as GOldie's ex-husband's new girlfriend. I love the scene where Goldie outruns the boys on the team and calls them "pussies" and the rap song over the closing credits is hysterically funny. A terrific feel-good comedy starring a great actress at the zenith of her personal charm.

In the 1980's there wasn't a bigger female comedy star than Goldie Hawn. She excelled at playing the 'fish out of water' character in films like 'Private Benjamin,' 'Protocol,' and 'Overboard.' 'Wildcats' has the same formula those films had, only instead of the Army, Washington DC, or abject poverty, Goldie finds herself coaching football.

Here Goldie plays Molly, a divorced mother of two who has always dreamed of coaching a football team. But throughout her coaching career all she's been allowed to do was coach female track and field. When Molly gets the opportunity to take a head coaching job in an inner city school, she jumps at the chance. When she arrives at the school she is faced by a disorganized and disrespectful team of players. They don't want her as their coach, but she sticks to her guns, and she fights to gain their respect and obedience.

Of all the comedies that Goldie has starred in, this isn't one of her best. She's still great in this, but the film is overlong, bogged down by a buzz killing custody storyline with her schmuck ex-husband (Keach) and her two kids. There's also a lot of unfunny 'fart humor' on display, but thankfully not from Goldie's character.

But when the film is good, it's good. Besides the custody storyline, things move at a brisk, fun pace. It's fun to watch Goldie work to get the team to see eye to eye with her, or hunt down the truant quarterback in the ghetto and almost get herself caught up in a robbery, or hide a rival teams goat mascot in the locker room.

This isn't really heavy stuff here, but it is a fun 80's comedy with a great star doing what she does best. So if you're a fan of Goldie Hawn and 80's comedies, check this out.

The trailer for "Wildcats" showed 3 ghetto-riffic cheerleaders stomping around a pile of dirt and chanting, "U-G-L-Y, you ain't got no alibi, you UGLY! What-what! Yo' mama says you ugly!"

Okay, you got me. I'm there.

Ha-ha low-brow highlights include--

* Goldie Hawn's purple-headed teenage daughter gets sloshed at a team party. Wesley Snipes comes to the rescue: "We're taking you home. If your mother sees you like this she's gonna' turn your ass the same color as your hair" Funny, rite?

* Goldie's team kidnaps the rival school's mascot, a goat. When principal Nipsey Russell invades the locker room and asks, "You all wouldn't happen to know what happen to the Cougar's goat, would you?" The goat, hidden in a locker, starts to baaaaah, which prompts Goldie to simultaneously reply "Naaaaah!" See? Hysterical!

Fans of Jan Hooks (like me) will love her turn here as the uppitty stick-up-the-butt wife of Goldie's ex. Fans of Woody Harrelson should note that a brief cameo is made here by his bare butt. Fans of Swoosie Kurtz should contemplate bathing with downed powerlines. Just kiddin', she's good too.

TEN! 1 point for the fat guy, 1 point for flatulence, 1 point for LL Cool J's lamest rap ever. The rest of the points go to Goldie. Goldie rocks.

Love, your pussies