- [when asked the secret of his successful chilli]
- Drayton: No secret, it's the meat. Don't skimp on the meat. I've got a real good eye for prime meat. Runs in the family.
- Drayton: [to Leatherface] You have one choice, boy: sex or the saw. Sex is, well... nobody knows. But the saw... the saw is family.
- L.G. McPeters: [seeing Chop-Top cutting up records] Hey! What the shit?
- Chop Top: Lick my plate, you dog dick!
- Drayton: [Hiding under the dinner table while Leatherface and Lefty fight] Maybe it's just time to just shut down. Time to shut down the show, yeah. Yeah, pull the plug. Come here, Nubbins!
- [Pulls the preserved corpse of the hitchhiker from the original film under the table and searches him]
- Drayton: Where... Where's that fuck you Charlie?
- Lefty: [after discovering a hall in the wall filled with entrails in the Sawyers' hideout] It's the Devil's playground.
- [When swinging for Stretch, Leatherface hits Chop Top on his head with the chainsaw by accident, exposing his metal place cover]
- Chop Top: Her, not me you dumbass! Leatherface, you bitch! Look what you did to my Sonny Bono wig do... oh, goddamn I can't believe it! You gonna have to buy me a new plate cover! You gonna have to buy me a new plate cover, Leatherface! Oh... I'm gonna have to go back to the VA hospital to get me a new plate cover!
- L.G. McPeters: Just had another cursin' caller. Your little ass is gonna be in big trouble with that tape girl.
- Drayton: [after Stretch runs right past the Sawyers] Some kinda crazy booger just skits through here!
- L.G. McPeters: [his final words; to Stretch] I guess I'm fallin' hard on ya, honey... Ah, shit.
- [sobbing, Stretch puts his skinned-off face and cowboy hat back on him]
- Stretch: L.G., I loved you.
- Chop Top: Uh, I wanna... I wanna buy some uh, radio add time.
- Vantia 'Stretch' Block: [getting nervous] Are you fucking crazy? We are closed. Off the air till' tomorrow. You'll have to just... come... back...
- Chop Top: No but... but yeah but... Whoa.
- Chop Top: C'mon Bubba. Cook's out here chewing ass like it was steak... "We gotta run for that money now! Chase that dollar, boy! Gotta go fast to catch it... "
- L.G. McPeters: [to Stretch, who is screaming after seeing him skinned] Darlin', don't be scared, darlin'...
- Drayton: [to Leatherface] Did you see it? Well, did you? Well, didn't you? Did you, didn't you? Go check it out boy!
- Chop Top: NAM-LANDDD!
- Drayton: Awww shut up!
- [to Leatherface]
- Drayton: I told you to go check it out before I start kicking your ass.
- [to Chop-Top]
- Drayton: Some kind of crazy booger just skitched through here.
- Chop Top: No, a booger? How big?
- [imitating Nubbins the puppet]
- Chop Top: Big, crrazzzzyyy booger! Let's haul butt bro!
- Lefty: Put it in the press. Get it in the news. Any information about this accident, and maybe, uh, some witnesses.
- Detective: Yes, sir, I uh... I know some old boys at the paper. We'll get your story out for ya.
- Lefty: Brazos.
- Detective: [affirmative head nod]
- Lefty: Bra-zos.
- Detective: [farewell salutes Lefty]
- Lefty: Bra-zos!
- Detective: Remember the Alamo, cowboy.
- [double-clicks tongue]