Necropolis

My review was written in May 1987 after a screening at Liberty theater on Manhattan's 42nd St.

"Necropolis" poses the thorny question: how does Empire pictures' brass decide which of their films will be released theatrically? This meager, N. Y.-lensed effort is far below the level of quality of several of Empire's recent direct-to-video releases, yet it popped up unannounced on 42nd Street on a triple bill to bore the pants off a horror-hungry audience. Home viewers at least will have a fast-forward option.

By an unfortunate application of the Peter Principle, erstwhile bit player LeeAnne Baker graduates to a leading role here, sashaying trashily through "Necropolis" as a 300-plus-year-old devil worshiper, preying upon New Yorkers to suck out their lifeforce. It seems, per a ludicrously cheap prolog set in New Amsterdam in 1686, that she was interrupted in a satanic ritual and must now complete it in order to obtain eternal lif for herself and a grisly bunch of ghouls. Most interesting gimmick is an Ed French makeup effect giving Baker three sets of breasts with which to sucklethe ghouls with the genre's requisite (ever since "Alien") daily requirement of KY jelly.

Al Pacino-lookalike Michael Conte unconvincingly plays the cop on the case, while British-accented Jacquie Fitz is a bland heroine and William K. Reed the neighborhood black reverend, ever ready with a set of wooden crosses to stake Baker and her ghouls.

Campiest material has b aker, looking hideous with short-cropped platinum blonde hairdo, eyelids covered in black, garbed in trashy black outfits emulating Vanity and Madonna, doing exotic dnces by herself without warning. Under Bruce Hickey's limp and static direction, even this isn't funny on a camp level.

This movie is a Great Waste of Time! A tired witch turned punk-rock bimbo tries to keep her youth (Duhh!) by sacrificing a virgin in New York City, but seems to have a bit of a problem finding one. I never have understood *why* a virgin has to be (a) female, (b) teen-aged; and, (c) pretty! However, if you want to see more of the same with the obligatory T&A - here's your chance! Poor acting, sloppy direction and choppy scenes. I hate to mention that the sound quality also seems to be lacking! Don't bother!

This movie is about a witch that comes back 300 years later and dominates people by using mind control ideas into making people commit murder and suicide. This movie is awful, cheezy dance moves that aren't even fit for the oldest disco club in the world, cheap makeup that makes even the 80's version of Barbie look more attractive and fake rubber looking boobs. Need I say more, this movie is just plain terrible.

A few moments of creativity in an otherwise terrible film.

First and foremost, this is a bad movie.

However, there were a couple nice moments like cutting between the Christian wedding and the Satanic ceremony. There is also a fun special effects moment where the witch feeds the undead ectoplasm.

But the acting is terrible. The cinematography is terrible. The "action sequences" are so, so, very bad.

At the end of the day, you should skip this one.

A 300 year old motorcycle riding punk witch looks for a virgin sacrifice in order to keep her youth.

Tries for style but falls flat on its face with some of the most inept writing, direction, and acting ever. This movie is one painful experience to set through. And the ending leaves an open door for a sequel, but think goodness one hasn't been made!! My rating: 1 out of 10.

Rated R for Strong Violence, Nudity, Language, Mild Sexual Content, Adult Themes, and a woman with more then two breasts. 77 minutes. It seems more like 2 hours though.