Transylvania 6-5000

Horror spoof that is probably best remembered as the film where Jeff Goldblum met his future ex-wife Geena Davis and vice versa.

Jeff plays a skeptical tabloid reporter who feels that he is not making any great contributions to the world of journalism who is forced to go on a wild goose chase for in Transylvania with hapless believer Ed Begley Jr. (also the son of their boss). Along the way, they encounter a number of oddballs who are not actual monsters but are really just downtrodden, misunderstood misfits. Among them is Geena Davis as a sex starved vampire wannabe. Geena fell for Ed, but Jeff walked away with her off camera.

Film takes a while to get going but briefly comes alive here and there when a pre-Seinfeld Michael Richards is on screen as a goofy hotel worker. The film also gets a good shot in the arm from Joseph Bologna as the mad scientist whose entire personality changes depending on whether or not he's in his lab. Geena does what she can and Jeff & Ed have their moments as the reporters.

"Good. Everything hurts." - Joe the mad scientist.

"If I didn't keep you chained up, no man in town would be safe!" - another good line from Joe the mad scientist.

I remember seeing this movie so many years ago,i liked it then and i love it now.I'm a huge fan of New World movies from the post-Corman era of the mid-late-80's.They made cheesy but good B-movies such as "Night Patrol","Tuff Turf","18 Again"and this one.Jeff Goldblum does an excellent job as the dead-pan straight man who does'nt believe in monsters(same as Bill Murray who did'nt believe in ghosts in"Ghostbusters")and Ed Begley,Jr.is also good as the monster believing neurotic.This movie would of been made from a bigger studio if there had been a bigger budget,cuz of the all-star cast.

Michael Richards is funny as the comedian butler,although he's been funnier on Seinfeld and in"UHF".John Byner,Carol Kane,Joseph Balogna,Geena Davis,Jeffery Jones and Theresa Ganzel are also good as a supporting cast.The plot is great,the characters are quirky but they work,the editing is fine,and the locations are adequate.The soundtrack even has its moments.Transylvania 65-000 is an 80's campy classic comedy.10 out of 10.

Two reporters (Ed Begley and Jeff Goldblum) travel to a strange castle in Transylvania to investigate the apparent reappearance of Frankenstein's monster...

One would think that with this cast (besides Begley and Goldblum, you have Jeffrey Jones, Geena Davis, Carol Kane and Michael Richards) it would be a non-stop fun romp through Transylvania. But, it really is not all that. While there are some decent jokes, most of them just fall flat or are never really properly explored.

Seeing a pre-Seinfeld Richards is a treat, with his antics being more along the lines of his role in "UHF" (the doofus with the childlike behavior). But although he may be the highlight of the film, he is not enough to carry the entire picture.

I feel like there was a lot of potential here and it was an idea that just never got fully cooked. But, you know, that happens.

Two tabloid reporters head to modern Transylvania - now a charming eastern European tourist trap - in pursuit of a story about monsters, and find the place over-run with vampires, mummies, werewolves etc. Ed Begley Jr. and Jeff Goldblum have good on-screen chemistry together as the luckless writers, but the script does them few favors. The tone of the movie is all over the place, aiming for wacky and scary by turns, but that sort of approach (familiar to Abbott and Costello fans) takes finesse that is not on display here. The production designers worked hard to create an attractive and convincing modern monster movie setting and mostly succeeded, but the script has a too-many-rewrites-by- committee feel and the material is very weak for the most part. Geena Davis has a very appealing bit as a beautiful vampire wannabe, but most of the supporting performances are not well fleshed out and are occasionally just absurd. Joseph Bologna, as always, chews the scenery outrageously as a mad scientist, plus Michael Richards is just annoying and unfunny as a clumsy bellhop. There are a few genuine laughs here and Davis' first appearance in vampire gear is worth a rewind, but most of the movie is just exasperatingly unfunny and tiresome. Avoid.

I loved anything connected with horror as a kid. As such, as a boy, I watched many stupid horror comedies that I didn't know any better than to watch at the time, case in point, Jim Carrey's ridiculous Once Bitten. However, this movie is one of three horror comedies I loved as a boy that is still funny to me today (the other two being A&C Meet Frankenstein and Young Frankenstein). Mostly because it was writer/director Rudy DeLuca's (very funny man who works for Mel Brooks today) 1980's update of the classic Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. It's funny as hell, and anybody who didn't think so at the time should pick up the new DVD and check it out again.

Interesting post scripts to the movie's production:

1. Goldblum and Begley's parts were to be played by Bosom Buddies' own Tom Hanks and Peter Scolari respectively, but New World would not let them play the parts because they didn't know who the hell they were. 2. Michael Richards' dimwitted servant Fejos was not originally the clumsy idiot he is in the movie. Richards was recommended for the role by his friend Begley, and characteristically fell all over himself at his audition. As a result, he ad-libbed every one of Fejos' physical acts and they were all kept.

I just have to mention this. My favorite line in the movie is after Geena Davis' lady Dracula attacks Begley from Goldblum.

Begley: Do you smell perfume?

Goldblum (mock scared): Yes. I know what was in this room.

Begley: What?

Goldblum: The Creature from Estee Lauder!