The Tomb

This movie was average, but worth checking out! We have a couple of familiar faces like John Carradine and a special appearance by Sybil Danning. But there were alot of virtual unknowns. This marks scream queen Michelle Bauer's first horror film as she portrays a possessed mummy from an ancient Tomb. She's mellodramatic at many times, but she's that way in most films. There's some great music in this movie and it probably did play in theatres in it's time, Unlike the movies you see Bauer in these days that has an awful budget! Someone says that B-movie director Fred Olen Ray's films don't hit theatre's, but what do they know?! This one definetely stood a chance and twice it showed the opening credits saying "The Tomb!" The ending is the best part no doubt about it, even you horror fans will agree! There's also a cameo by cult actress from the film "Surf Nazis Must Die!", Dawn Wildsmith who plays a lesbian and gets eaten alive by Bauer's snakes!

This is not the worst film ever made. I can't think of what that one is at the moment. I'll have to wait for my eyes to stop bleeding.

Actually, there are two mildly redeeming factors. John Carradine, whose two minutes on screen probably comprised half the movie's budget, and Kitten Natividad dancing topless for about thirty seconds total. Yeah, that's it.

Another line. Another line. Another line. Another line. Is that enough for that ridiculously arbitrary ten line rule? Apparently not. Let's keep adding pointless text until this so-called comment meets the minimum requirement for mindless bureaucratic self-aggrandizement. Some suit trying to qualify his or her paycheck came up with this rule, undoubtedly.

Mid-eighties grade-Z Indiana Jones knockoff starring David O'Hara as beer swilling tomb raider John Banning who unwittingly awakens an Egyptian sorceress Nefratis (Michelle Bauer) and becomes a pawn in her resurrected plans for world conquest, or something to that effect.

When looking at the cast of actors one might get the impression that with such B-movie royalty like Sybil Danning, John Carradine, and the always entertaining Cameron Mitchell that this movie might not be as bad as it sounds. You would be very wrong on that assumption. While all aforementioned actors try their best to elevate the "talent" level on screen they are collectively in the film for only about ten minutes with Mitchell making up the bulk of that time. Instead you get to watch the "don't quit your day job waiting at Spago's" performance buy the woefully inept Richard Hench who becomes the central character in the film about halfway in to it. The scenes with Hench and his professor sidekick are the visual equivalent of banging your skull off of a concrete wall. David O'Hara's character John Banning is so unlikeable that it's confusing as to why he wasn't rewritten better as the film clearly wants him to be the hero. Michelle Bauer's nudity free Nefratis sleepwalks throughout the movie. If anyone can tell me what the hell actually killed her at the end I would greatly appreciate it as I rewound it many times and failed to see what exactly happened. My word of advice for wary B-movie fans is if it says Olen Ray stay away!

This is an Indiana Jones-type film that was made on the cheap (VERY cheap). It features hot young guys running about sets that looked LESS convincing than the props in a spook house! It also features an airplane that explodes with one shot from a pistol, a band in pharaoh head gear and others dressed like mummies or wearing a fez singing "Tutti Frutti" (presumably in the Middle East), BAD dialog and acting and one embarrassing moment after another. When the film began, I knew it was crap--simply because of the cheapo soundtrack. It's all synthesizers and sounds pretty much like what other cheap 80s films sounded like (such as "Warlords of the 21st Century"). And, it features John Carradine--a guy who would have starred in ANYTHING (including tampon commercials) if they paid him in cash! It also features Cameron Mitchell--a once decent actor who, by 1986, was seriously looking for work. As for the rest, they're mostly unknown actors (aside from Sybil Danning, who made a career out of appearing in low-budget films)....and I can see why. Overall, it's the sort of picture that would have gone straight to videotape or been seen on the USA Network back in the late 80s. If you like crap, then give this one a try. As for me, I couldn't even finish this one...it was that lame.

Tomb raider, John Banning (David O'Hara), bites off more than he can chew when immortal ancient Egyptian, Nefratis (Genre scream queen, Michelle Bauer) gets peeved that he stole from her and so follows him to America to wreck havok. Think of this film as a fifth-grade Indiana Jones crossed with a third-rate Mummy. Not among the best Fred Olen Ray films, and the usually great Sybil Danning & Bauer are all waisted here, yet it's serviceable enough in a 'there's nothing else on and i'm bored to death' kind of way. But really, Natividad's minute long cameo provide the only two noteworthy reasons to watch.things about this film.

My Grade: C-

Eye Candy: Dawn Wildsmith gets topless; Kitten Natividad shows T&A