They Call Me Macho Woman!

The main character of "They Call Me Macho Woman" is Susan Morris(Deborah Sweaney),a nubile young woman,who is being stalked by Mongo "Unicorn",big bad drug lord and his cohorts of merciless criminals.But Susan ain't gonna become easy victim.It's not in her style.After visiting some kind of tool shed and sleeping there she arms herself with instruments of steel and begins to kill gang members one by one.Hilariously funny action flick with bad acting and hysterical death scenes.There are a couple of really dumb scenes that made my jaw wide open.There is also a lot of running through the woods and a bit of gore.If you like non-stop action with hatches,blades and axes give this funny Troma release a chance.7 nine inch nails out of 10.

City girl Susan Morris (Debra Sweaney) and her Realtor head down a country road to check out some property, but run afoul of Mongo (Brian Oldfield) and his drug peddling gang. Like any good movie villain, Mongo can't let them live and Susan endures a long series of chases, captures and escapes before she puts her foot down and fights back RAMBO-style. Wielding two axes, a whip and some nine inch nails, our heroine takes out the crew of 80s looking thugs.

If I whisper "Joseph needs you" in your ear and it gets you all excited, then you need to see SAVAGE INSTINCT. Director Patrick Donahue delivered the bad-yet-amazing actioner KILL SQUAD in 1982 and this was his sophomore feature, which is just as goofy. Sweaney is a terrible actress and her transformation is about as convincing as Olivia Newton-John's in GREASE. There are some good stunt bits (the Donahues always deliver in that arena as co-star son Sean is also the stunt coordinator) but they are almost always undermined by some seriously wonky staging. Look for the scene where Susan escapes by running on top of the heads (!) of the gang and then adds insult to injury by flicking them off and grabbing her crotch. On top of this is some seriously priceless dialog. For example, Susan is saved by three partying dudes who don't heed her warning about the killers after her. Sure enough, the gang members kill the dudes and, while viewing their corpses, Susan says, "I bet you never listened to your mothers either." What?

I saw this on cable. Someone had to lose their job for greenlighting this one for air. Just because a movie is made does not mean it has to be shown! Savage Instinct should be shown in ALL film classes. It is the perfect template for how to not make a movie. The editing alone is so jumbled you'll think it was assembled by a team of trained (poorly) monkeys, traveling across unpaved canyon road in the back of a jeep, blindfolded and drunk. The audio is often not legible. Acting? I can't call anything I saw here acting. Reciting? Hmmm. Can't call it that either. Failing? That works. All that being said...IT IS HILARIOUS! I cannot stress enough that there is not one redeemable factor in this "film" other than the hilarity derived from it's own incredible ineptness. Fun, in a strictly masochistic sort of way. Watch it...if you dare.

Susan (Debra Sweaney) is checking out some quite rural real estate with her wimpy real estate agent Cecil (Lory-Michael Ringuette) when they encounter Cocaine manufacturer Mongo (Brian Oldfield) who is a dead ringer for TV series Night Court's Bull (Richard Mull). Susan has a habit of escaping and then being recaptured by mongo's band of misfits lead by the mean diminutive Terk (Sean P. Donahue). Susan finds her inner MacGyver and creates a number of deadly weapons from items in an tool shed after a much needed afternoon nap. More importantly she loses her Sister wife's with shoulder pads outfit and shows off her impressive abs. Mongos Merry Men experience misfortune at the hands of Susan which adds up to an impressive kill count by the end of the movie. A very enjoyable "B" action flick with quite well placed humor and a genuinely scary physically imposing bad guy Mongo. The one misstep is the overbearing music score which is too loud and distracting at times This is a must see for for all "B" Action fans.

If you like really shocking movies this is for you. The acting is the worst I've ever seen and the story line goes no-where. If you come across this film in your video shop don't even consider borrowing it. The chick on the front cover isn't even the one in the movie.I gave this movie 1/10 only because I couldn't vote 0. Avoid it at all costs.