- [Miller punches Ubu Pearl]
- Ubu Pearl: I give you a thing... make your heart forget to beat! Your blood boil in your veins! You die... you die!
- Fred Miller: What happens if you die first?
- Ubu Pearl: [smiling] I *still* gonna kill you!
- Nick: Chief, am I gonna die?
- Xavier: Yes, man... but we're gonna try to put it off for a little while, we're gonna take you to the hospital.
- Policeman: He knows the cops are after him, and the man is bang into the fourth dimension.
- Maubee: Why you think we doing this?
- Xavier: Because you are a fucking lunatic who got his ass in a mess and don't know how to get out of it!
- Maubee: No, not because I don't know how to get out, but because you and your men couldn't catch me, Xavier!
- Xavier: Shit, I never even tried!
- Maubee: Yesterday you tried to run me off the road, remember?
- Xavier: I coulda shot your ass!
- Maubee: You can shoot my ass right now!
- Xavier: I might!
- Fred Miller: Who the hell was that?
- Xavier: Ubu Pearl, the local witch.
- Fred Miller: I'm gettin' to like this place more and more.
- Thomas Elgin: What'd you tell him, Hadley?
- Hadley Elgin: Comfortable answers to uncomfortable questions.
- Xavier: The man never grew up, that's all. Just like everyone else, but he never even tried.
- Fred Miller: Peter Pan.
- Xavier: Bugs Bunny.
- Fred Miller: You're not Elmer Fudd are you?
- Governor Chalk: Look, don't spread this thing out too far, Xavier, or it's gonna get so thin you won't have shit.
- Xavier: You mean like my job?
- Governor Chalk: I mean like your ass!
- Cocodink: I want to make a complaint about Lt. Jump Jones! He's not giving me no phone and I want it now! And I'm not being allowed to make no calls!
- Jump: Who would you call?
- Cocodink: Never mind my personal business! That lizard fish with the cowboy hat gets to make one call, and out he goes!
- Xavier: You want to get out, Coco?
- Cocodink: You're a tricky man. Never mind the phone!
- Xavier: Aren't you ever going to stop?
- Cocodink: Never! Because that's the way I am! I am the blight and scourge of the jails! I am the vengeance of the poor-ass prisoner, man!
- Xavier: You sure are.
- Xavier: [sees a large chest] What's in here?
- Ubu Pearl: Why don't you open it and find out?
- [Xavier does, lifting a fetish - beneath which is a venomous snake! It hisses and lunges at him. He jumps back, and Ubu Pearl starts laughing]
- Xavier: You're gonna get in trouble fucking with me, Guma.
- [She only laughs louder]
- Wedding Singers and Band: [singing] So let's give thanks and praise, Natty Dreadlocks, I appreciate the herb you brought for me, Natty dreadlocks...
- Xavier: The man typifies what's wrong with this whole island. He had to invent a life because he can't face what's expected of him. He's no more important than we let him be. He's just a man.
- Thomas Elgin: What should I be worried about, Mr Quinn?
- Xavier: You think you have it made, don't you? You come down here and do what you want, take what you want, kill who you want.
- Thomas Elgin: You're fucking nuts! You've gone too far.
- Xavier: I'm goin' all the way.
- Hadley Elgin: He liked it so I gave it to him.
- Xavier: What else?
- Hadley Elgin: What else do you do with a big old tomcat? If he's friendly, you play.
- Xavier: So here I am, Chief of Police, on an island where the poultry inspector gets to be Governor, and a guy who lies on his back smokin' ganja and gettin' laid his whole life long, gets to be a hero. You like Bugs Bunny?
- Hadley Elgin: Yeah, pretty much.
- Xavier: What about Elmer Fudd?
- Hadley Elgin: No, I don't like him.
- Xavier: Yeah, I don't like him either.
- Xavier: [singing] Well, I woke up this mornin', Feelin' so good, You know, I laid back down again, Throw your big leg over me, Mamma, I might not feel this good again...
- Xavier: I better go.
- Hadley Elgin: Quinn. Are you sure you want to leave? Then why are you leaving? You liked me this morning.
- Xavier: I like you now.
- Lola Quinn: [singing] Sunshine is for everyone, Sunshine come back again, Come on without, Come on within, You ain't seen nothin', Like the mighty Quinn, Come on without, Come on within...
- Xavier: Look, I didn't come in here to hear myself talk. I want you to do somethin'.
- Governor Chalk: Well, the best thing we can do is to - stay out of the way.
- Xavier: Governor, I'm in the way.
- Dr. Raj: You may cut a man's head off, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you kill him. Especially if he's already dead, which appears to be the case in this case. The victim died suddenly, but not instantaneously, due to a combination of searing, profound pain, and the emotional shock of seeing his arm turn deeply cyanotic. Uh, that means purple.
- Xavier: Yeah, go on?
- Dr. Raj: He died of a snakebite.
- Xavier: Way back in the old days, plantation owners, they imported a snake to discourage the escape of slaves.
- Henry Quinn: That was us.
- Xavier: Yes, that was us. But - the snake don't know the difference between black and white.
- Henry Quinn: You mean, the snake start bitin' the white man too?
- Xavier: That's right. So you know what they did?
- Henry Quinn: No.
- Xavier: They brought in the mongoose to kill off the snake. But you know what them forget? They forget that the mongoose is nocturnal. See, that means he likes the night; whereas the snake, he likes the day. So, while one was on his way to work, the other was on his way to bed. Now, what you think of that?
- Henry Quinn: I guess that's the kind of place this is.
- Jody: Why don't you sit down at the piano and help us out, Xavier?
- Xavier: No, no, no. Just an innocent bystander.
- Lola Quinn: He doesn't play the piano any more.
- Jody: Probably not innocent, either.
- Governor Chalk: You've got the book. You've got the weapon. All you need is Maubee.
- Xavier: Well, a motive would help.
- Governor Chalk: Motive? You kidding? His whole life long that little nigger watches the laughing rich, and finally his poor impoverished heart screams murder. How about that? It's my job, Xavier, to see that this thing doesn't hurt us.
- Xavier: Us?
- Governor Chalk: Yes, us. The ones responsible for the welfare and economy of this country. That's Mr. Elgin, me, and you. We've all gotten this far by each of us doing his job. I expect you to do yours.