Keaton's Cop

If you are about to die very soon, make sure you see this film and it will send you to your death bed with a huge smile on your face. This film is soooo bad beyond belief, it makes for a great film to watch with your mates at home with a few beers. Every cop/buddy movie cliche' is pulled out the hat. You've heard of Police Squad, well this is truly "Geriatric Squad". The main cast of old stooges combined age must be close to 4 digits. Anyway, the plot focuses on Lee Majors looking after a guy (Keaton, played by Abe Vigoda) at a nursing home after a messed up assassination attempt. I mean this hitman walks through this nursing home calmly, not looking like a hitman at all (moustache, sunglasses, blue suit, and a package under his arm - for crying out loud!). Before this, Lee Majors character is introduced as a burnt out, on-the-edge veteran cop who like to throw people out of windows - the police captain refers to him throwing people out of windows at least 7 or 8 times throughout the movie. Don Rickles is the ill-fated partner. As the credits roll at the start, the script writers were on hot form writing a conversation for these two to have in their car! Standout scenes include the p*ssing in the alleyway conversation scene between Majors and Rickles - what a way to get the plot moving boys - and the scene at the docks where the police badge on Major's blazer magically disappears and re-appears. Fantastic! There are also some really evil bad guys on the loose, who are gay and listen to heavy metal music in their convertible ("Wild in the Streets......"). Oh, and the love interest - a girl young enough to be Lee Major's daughter from the nursing home - helps Lee face his demons and get over the death of his partner etc etc. There is an amusing romantic run along the beach followed by a shower scene as the two get naked and Lee tries so hard to suck in his paunch. Yes, Lee gets over his partners death quite easily. Takes about 2 minutes actually and then is never mentioned again. Gunfights and car chases follow (to classic hillbilly getaway music) and the climax of the 1hr car chase made me spit out my beer with laughter. So if you are a fan of seriously bad movies.......don't dare miss this one!!!

My review was written in June 1990 after watching the film on Warner/Cannon video cassette.

Abe Vigoda's flavorful turn as a crusty gangster enlivens the uneventful cop thriller "Keaton's Cop". Released regionally by Cannon in March, pic recently played on 42nd Street.

Vigoda is the Keaton of the title, paired with cop Lee Majors after Majors' partner Don Rickles is murdered. They're out to unravel who put the hit on Vigoda and ended up wasting Rickles.

Trail laboriously leads to Big Mama, a well-cast, well-endowed and well-preserved June Wilkinson, who's now running a gang in Galveston. Unfortunately, the former pinup and dinner theater ("Pajama Tops") star is off-screen for most of the picture and not well utilized by director Bob Burge, who previously cast her in other films ike "Vasectomy". Tracy Brooks Swope has a better role as Vigoda's nurse who, natch, fals in love with the one-time $6,000,000 guy.

Majors and Vigoda make an okay tem, with the latter getting in some bon mots and fun physical shtick. It's sort of a geriatric version of "48 HRS.".

Low-budget lensing in Galveston is unspectacular and the film almost sinks under the turgid weight of a subplot focusing on Majors' cute son.

I was in this movie. I played a cop guarding Abe Vagoda.It was shot in Galveston with a budget at The Galvez Hotel, but there are so many small problems. Lee Majors was playing it straight, but doing scenes with Don Rickles makes it kinda hard. Rickles was a nut on the set. Abe Vagoda was searching for his character. Even the actors were struggling with this script, the holes, the cheese. One of the best bloopers is watching the car chase pass the same convenience store 3 times in a row.

The actor's were trying hard to be serious. But the props, the bomb...??..what the hell!?? They should have went for the comedy..the god father this wasn't.

The film also has a orange tint to it.You see, the film used to shoot the movie was apparently old and developed improperly in spots throughout the film...that's the inside word anyway. Ahh yes, A classic Bob Burge production. This was the kind of movie that ended careers. Once it came out it vanished. It took me 4 years to find ans outta state copy for 75 bucks. That is called burying it. Now, we can watch and laugh...why not. All I know is I got to hang out 2 days with Lee Majors and Abe Vagoda, for that I AM thankful.

I have replayed my decision to watch this movie over and over in my mind and only wish I had mental illness or a drug problem to blame it on. But alas. I watched it all. Some recognizable TV actors delivering some terrible dialogue inside a plot that is so easy to follow. Career high performances from Abe Bagoda and Don Rickles (not including anything else they ever did).

So Lee Majors is rude to this pretty nurse but she decides to go him with him anyway and apparently never leaves. Oh Lee. Didn't your mama warn you about those kind of girls?

Movie has that wonderful budget production made for TV - straight to VCR (look it up kids) quality to it.

The sound track was pathetic with music during car chases coming from the tunes deemed too bad to make it in a Smokey and the Bandit movie.

Nudity could have helped a lot.