La magnífica aventura de Bill y Ted

WOW. Talk about a childhood classic! Bill and Ted first surfaced when I was nine years old. Those were the days...I don't know how many times my best friend and I watched this one, but it must have been every day during our third grade year. I've watched it countless times after that and it has yet to lose its charm. When Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey came out a couple of years later, the process repeated itself. These are two movies about a couple of (seemingly) burn-out teens who don't take drugs, which leads one to the conclusion that they were just born idiots. Thing is, just by being stupid, everything seems to happen right for them wherever they go, thanks to good ole Rufus (George "the king" Carlan).

Excellent Adventure starts with our idiot duo, doing what they do; jamming out in the garage (on guitars they can't play) and talking nonstop about how someday, somehow, their band "Wyld Stalyns" will open for Iron Maiden. When their dream is threatened by the reality that they are flunking out in history, things take a turn. What it all boils down to is that they need to have a badass history report or they're both going to flunk out and Ted will be sent to military school by his mean, police officer dad.

This is where Rufus comes in. He shows up in a time machine (in the form of a phone booth) and claims to have all the answers to their problems. The time machine is just what they need for their history report so it's "back in time we go", to capture historically significant figures (Socrates, Napolean, Billy the Kid, Joan of Arc, Abe Lincoln, etc.). The fun never stops.

I'm really not sure why this movie works as well as it does. It takes an idea that would sound completely stupid on paper, and somehow, makes it all come together. The characters are completely likeable and the script is sharply written. Best of all, this movie is just good fun. The music is awesome too. If you have never seen this movie or its sequel, you are seriously depraved. Go put on your old Megadeth t-shirt, ragged out jeans, and a few beers, plop down on the couch and enjoy.

If you weren't around in '89, when this became a surprise cultural phenomenon, well, you kinda had to be there. Looking back with critical eyes, it's a rather thin, desperately low-budget production that doesn't probe beyond the superficial layer and constantly winks and nudges the audience to ensure they know when to laugh. Yet, recognizing all that, I found myself wrapped up in its oddly naive warmth and charismatic magnetism. The jokes and gags are hammy and contrived, but I still snickered. The most memorable lines are clumsy and blunt, but I gladly recited them (surprising myself, as I hadn't seen the film in twenty-plus years). Bill and Ted themselves are the narrowest of stereotypes, basically the male equivalent of Frank Zappa's valley girls, yet I felt a rich tingle of satisfaction when they saved their academic careers. It's one of those films that defies logic, succeeding in spite of itself, and there's something of value in that.

Any idiot can sit down and spend four or seven years of his life writing out his "masterpiece." You do some research, you do some hard work, you get a little help from friends and family, and you get it done. But, it takes a true writing genius (or geniuses, in this case) to create something as original as "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure." The ingenuity of the movie can even be seen in its delightful tagline: "History is about to be re-written by two guys who can't spell." This tagline is both simple and clever, while being both corny and slightly comical. Like "Real Genius," this film utilizes ideas from both the highest form of screenwriting while still delving into the lowest common denominator, somehow doing both at the same time. For instance, to perfectly grasp the concept of Bill and Ted's "lingo," one would truly have to stoop to the lowest rung of the intelligence level. But, with such ingenius ideas as having Bill and Ted meet each other in the beginning of the film, then later finding themselves, allowing the audience to gain insight on what happened in the past is just a stroke of cinematic brilliance. And the running gag about "when the Mongols conquered China" was one of the many cherries on the cake. Even some of the background comments (after being told he's "too tall, man" making the phone booth even more crowded, Lincoln responds: "That's how I'm built.") Any movie where Genghis Kahn is tempted to come into a phone booth by a Twinkie has to be something special. If only production companies and filmmakers would take a chance on something as original as a time travelling phone booth carrying two idiots on the course to better the future, the public could finally go back to watching movies in theaters again.

Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure was probably one of the most compelling films I've experienced since I first watched it. It has an idea only an indie director could possibly think of, but it avoids all of the campy expositions which would turn it into some bad "B" film. The story was great, and it was really one of the best depictions of high schools idiots in the history of Hollywood. I mean, you did not see these guys taking tokes or drinking in their spare time, which really vexed some people. They're just stupid for the sake of the story. While the technical aspects weren't special, they worked when they needed it. This film also had one of the best music soundtracks in the history of Hollywood, even if it was from the 1980s. Too many good things to say about this film besides the fact it is a film which doesn't take itself seriously.

Despite the success of such films as "Speed" and "The Matrix" trilogy, to a lot of people, Keanu Reeves will ALWAYS be Ted, the taller, darker half of the Bill & Ted duo. And it would seem that Ted, of all Reeves many characters, is possibly the only one where he really seemed to have put himself into the role and felt like a natural.

One of the great dopey dude slacker classics, the title characters Bill (Alex Winter) and Ted (the aforementioned Reeves) are a pair of aspiring musicians, the Wild Stallions, who are in danger of being both separated if Ted can't pull up a good enough grade (which = military school) and flunking history class in general. But since they are destined to be "the 2 Great Ones" who's music will unite the Earth and even alien races together in universal harmony, the most excellent dude Rufus (George Carlin) shows up and gives them a time traveling phone booth to help them pass their history class by bringing back real historical figures like Billy the Kid, Abraham Lincoln, Napoleon, Joan of Ark and what not. Now all they have to do is keep them from getting separated and jailed before they have to pass history! Along the way, Bill & Ted also fall in love with two sexy virgin princesses from the medieval circa.

Yeah it's not great cinema, but it's a fun romp of slacker dude madness thanks to the energy and enthusiasm of Alex Winter and Keanu Reeves as the title characters.

Followed by "Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey".