Robowar

"Reb Brown stars in this action-packed adventure story of fighting men pitted against an unseen enemy, a force more powerful than the fiercest weapons. Recruited by the CIA to rescue hostages held by guerrilla fighters in a Central American country, Brown and his men encounter an enemy unimaginably more deadly than any on Earth - because the Omega One is not of this Earth!"

What you have just read (save the references to Reb and Omega One) is the VHS plot synopsis of the Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle PREDATOR (1987) because that is exactly what this Bruno Mattei flick rips off! Why waste my time cooking up a synopsis, right? A virtual scene-for- scene, shot-for-shot remake of the big budget sci-fi epic, ROBOWAR is bad. So bad that it is amazing. There are some liberties taken with the "source" material though. Reb Brown's top secret unit is named B.A.M. (Bad Assed Mutherfuckers). When they assault the village, Brown throws a smaller knife into a mercenary and then quips, "Hang around!" as opposed to Arnold's "Stick around." Oh yeah, and the group's native empath is named named Quang and of Filipino descent. Sadly, no "What's got Quang so spooked?" line. Mattei usually wouldn't settle for just one flick to rip off and throws us a curve ball by also copying 1987's other classic sci-fi flick, ROBOCOP. You see, Omega One turns out to be part man, part machine. Even funnier, the human chunks inside are Brown's old Nam buddy Woodrig. And, yes, Brown does say, "Woodrig, it's you!"

After the explosive opening credits -Literally, stuff is blowing up all over the place!-, ROBOWAR begins.

It seems that a cyborg has gone rogue, and a team of ultra-abrasive, tub-of-testosterone commandoes are dispatched to hunt it down and neutralize it. Into the jungle they go, so that everyone can wear RAMBO gear and sweat a lot. A definite PREDATOR vibe is prevalent, and it's obvious that most of our musclebound heroes will become prey.

Some scenes are direct PREDATOR lifts, adding to this movie's parody of that movie's characters.

Intergalactic omni-star, Reb Brown plays Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator, Major Murphy Black. Brown, along with his fellow performers, make Arnold look like the greatest actor who ever lived! However, this movie's crowning achievement is their quarry, called Omega One, that looks fairly solid. Alas, it speaks, emitting a squeaky, buzzy "voice", best described as C3PO shoved up R2D2's cannister!

Irredeemably absurd, at least there's something going boom every few minutes to distract our lilting attention. Plus, something hilarious happens every few seconds!

The idiot robot is a wonderment all on its own!

DO NOT MISS: The explosion / flying trousers scene toward the end! It's a riot!...

Standard and mediocre cash-in on known American films taking parts here and there , dealing with a platoon : Massimo Vani, Romano Puppo, Mel Davison , Max Laurel, Gaines led by Major Murphy : Reb Brown assigned to a dangerous mission in the lush jungle . Along the way they meet and save a prisoner woman : Catherine Hickland, who at the time married David Hasselhoff, and all of them take on a lethal cyborg with fateful results .

This Robowar 1988 contains thrills , chills , gory scenes, jungle landscapes from Philippines , crossfire, violent deaths and lots of blown-up. It results to be an exploitative clone , rip-off of boxoffice successes , mixing scenes from expensive Rambo by George Pan Cosmatos with Stallone , Missing in action by Joseph Zito with Norris , Robocop by Paul Verhoveen with Weller and especially Predator by John McTiernan with Arnold . Played by an international cast and starring the hunk Reb Brown as one army man , giving a lousy performance and overacting, at times , as he's usually shouting and shooting . His best movie was Uncommon Valor , following several similar roles as brave heroes who frequent eliminate villain people such as : "Yor the Hunter from the future" , "Captain America" , "Captain America 2 death too soon" , "Death of a Soldier" , "Strike Commando" , "The Cage" , "The Firing Line" , "Street Hunter ," Last Fight to Hell", "Mercenary Fighters" , "The Cage 2 Arena of Death", and "Space Mutiny" . Support cast is formed by regular secondaries of the Italian B-movies, such as : Massimo Vanni , Romano Puppo , Luciano Pigozzi or Allan Collins , though the scenes of the latter were eventually deleted . And screenwriter Clyde Anderson or Claudio Fragasso himself who often used to play as cameos and brief interventions , in fact here performing the deadly Cyborg and he fainted at times , due to the real warm. All actors lost a lot of pounds when she worked on the film due to the sweaty , hot conditions of the Philippines jungles and extremely heat.

It displays an atmospheric cinematography by Riccardo Grassetti , shot on exotic location in Pasanjan, Laguna , Philippines Islands. Catching and thrilling electronic musical score from Al Festa , composed by means of synthesizer . The motion picture was regularly directed by Bruno Mattei , assisted by his habitual collaborator Claudio Fragasso who also wrote the screenplay along with his wife Rosella Drudi . Bruno Mattei was a hack professional who directed a lot of cheap films in all kind of genres, such as : "Cage Women" , "Hell of the Living Dead" , "Seven Magnificent Gladiators" , "Rats" , "Strike Commando I", its sequel "Strike Commando II" and several others . Rating : 5/10 , a regular and disconcerting production that will appeal to Reb Brown fans .

Bruno Mattei must be the only person in on his own joke. I simply cannot understand how he made such a career out of such blatant ham-fisted ripoffs of famous Hollywood movies. Sure, Italy and The Philippines are known for cashing in on the latest trends - like with all the post-nuke flicks to flood out of both countries immediately after MAD MAX 2: THE ROAD WARRIOR. But no one until Mattei had the gall to just brazenly ape a popular movie scene-by-scene, shot-by-shot, line-by-line.

ROBOWAR is an obvious remake of PREDATOR, only changed slightly to accommodate the total lack of budget. Here it's a government-engineered cyborg out destroying massive amounts of stock footage from DOUBLE TARGET and STRIKE COMMANDO. Thankfully, the bulk of the actual film is largely stock-footage-free though you'll recognize a lot of the locations from other Mattei/Fragasso Filipino films like the old hut from AFTER DEATH.

The great cast (including Romano Puppo, Massimo Vanni, Jim Gaines, Max Laurel, etc.) actually turn in surprisingly good acting. Even star Reb Brown performs much better here than in his other Italo-Filipino outings. Not Olivier-quality of course, but COMPARATIVELY good. It's amazing too considering Mattei stages them either theatrically (everyone crammed into a master-shot) or shoots them shot-for-shot like scenes in PREDATOR. Good, yet idiotically staged action scenes come fast and furious but are interspersed with more than enough filler shots of Reb Brown and Co. wandering through the jungle.

The only real kudos go for the pyrotechnic crew for plenty of lovable slow motion explosions, as well as Al Festa and his wonderfully cheesetastic 80's synthesizer spectacular score. While nothing as heinously 80's as AFTER DEATH and COP GAME, it's in a pretty similar league.

People who like this film and get a kick out of line-by-line ripoffs should also seek out Mattei's not-quite-as-fun-but-still-hilarious SHOCKING DARK, which did the same thing with ALIENS and TERMINATOR.

Ah, leave it to the directorial talent (or lack thereof) of Bruno Mattei to make me yearn for the Citizen Kane Reb Brown classics such as Space Mutiny or Yor the Hunter from the Future.

Think of this outing as a prolonged hike in the nature preserve. Reb is Murphy Black; the leader of commando group on a mission of...actually what WAS their mission(?) as it's evident that Reb himself wasn't even sure of. Heck, I don't even know if I'd let Reb lead me in a game of horseshoes let alone on a reconnaissance endeavor. No tears are shed on this journey as people are killed and you have no iota clue (or concern) about who they are or what purpose they serve except as bullet fodder. Thrill at the menacing Omega 1 (that reminds me to get multivitamins at GNC this week) as his state of the art pixelated kill-o-vision makes him...well, pretty lame. His 8 bit speech makes him sound like he contracted a form of Robot Tourettes. I can't be too angry with him as he helps to thin the herd thus providing a semblance of entertainment. Herr Mattei also had access to bio lab skeletons and you're bloody sure that he was going to use them!

All levity aside, many thanks to Smoke Manmuscle, I mean Reb for making this trial somewhat amusing. Whether it's his high shrilled helium-ated octaves of unforgettable lines such as 'Incoming, get out of here!' and 'Move out!' or his constant bickering with Mascher (less than Carl Weathers and more like Andy Richter's shady uncle), Murphy Black weathers the storm to the beat of a Casio laced soundtrack. Beware the true horror of Robowar: the cutoff shirt prone to exposing Rebbish midriff.

The horror...the horror....