La vampiresa de Beverly Hills

This movie tries to be as bad as "Dinosaur Island" but only sucks as bad as "The Phantom Empire" The excuse for a plotline plods along, the acting is reminiscent of the 2 by 4 in the wall to my left, and the camera work isn't working at all, my etch-a-sketch showed more talent and innovation even when I left it untouched. The script tries to have a constant stream of jokes, but none of them hits the mark, not even the one they stole from "Leisure Suit Larry". The only good thing about this film is all the nekkid chicks, but we only see them for about 10 minutes altogether out of an hour and a half running time. The rest of the time is spent watching 3 total nerds do nerdish things. The 'plot' follows the 3 nerds that go to Hollywood to try and get their movie made, get shot down immediately and then decide to buy some hookers. The hookers turn out to be vampires and they spend the last hour running about trying to kill the nerds, who are of course trying to escape.

If you like the "So bad it's good" style of film making, then this film isn't for you. If you like genuinely good films, then this film isn't for you, either. Now if you into wasting your time with mind numbing drivel, then this is the perfect film for you.

First, you have to realize that Fred Olen Ray's "Beverly Hills Vamp" is NOT intended to be taken seriously, so if you watch it and end up complaining that it's "mind-numbing drivel" (to quote the previous reviewer), then you totally missed the point. The whole point is to be silly and show scantily clad babes, as Ray also did with "Evil Toons" and "Teenage Exorcist". With the presence of Eddie Deezen (who played the chatterbox Beatlemaniac in Robert Zemeckis's "I Wanna Hold Your Hand" and the obnoxious ventriloquist in Steven Spielberg's "1941"), you know that you're in for something zany.

What I mean by the link to Peter Sellers and the Beatles is a loose connection. Britt Ekland was one of the many blonde sexpots of the '60s. She was married to Sellers for a few years. Peter Sellers co-starred with Ringo Starr in "The Magic Christian", a mockery of the British class system. Christopher Lee appears briefly in the movie as a vampire. Years later, Eddie Deezen appeared in Zemeckis's movie as a man modeling himself on Ringo. That's the connection.

Anyway, this is a movie that you just have to accept as totally silly. That's all that it is: nice, silly fun with a lot of hot babes.

I'd bed Britt Ekland any day.

My review was written in October 1989 after watching the movie on Vidmark video cassette.

A pleasant addition to the overworked vampire comedy genre, "Beverly Hills Vamp" is of special interest to industryites by virtue of its non-stop stream of in-jokes parodying the world of low-budget filmmaking.

Helmer Fred Olen Ray, who has bootstrapped his way to prominence in the field of quickie production, pokes fun at himself as well in a film free of the bitterness usually associated with backstage efforts.

Eddie Deezen toplines in his familiar nerd role as a guy who survives an evening with vampire call girls that, however, takes the lives of his two chums, Tim Conway Juniot and Tom Shell. Viewer is taken on a Cook's tour of Hollywood, notably the milieu of producer Aaron Pendleton, who specializes in exploitation movies. Deezen's girlfriend, Brigitte Burdine, shows up to help him combat Britt Ekland, the vampire who runs a BevHills brothel.

With Michelle Bauer, Debra Lamb and Jillian Kesner providing the pulchritude, easy-to-take pic has some clever moments for the fans, including Robert Quarry making fun of his revered "Count Yorga" character. Vampire lore is handled inconsistently, but there are good special effects by Bret Mixon when the creatures disintegrate.

I would like to say that i find Beverly Hills Vamp a great movie especially with Jillian Kesner in it. She makes me hot like butter and i always liked films with female vampires in it. You could say it's one of my weaknesses.

Too bad we didn't see more of it, and that she died so soon. A sequel would be in its place.

Furthermore would I like to say that even if it wasn't always of a high level, it gave me some laughs now and then. And what's wrong with a film where guys, nerds or otherwise, go looking for hookers. Everybody has his preferences and it's a great movie for those who have wet dreams about female vampire hookers.

"Beverly Hills Vamp" is a movie made by Fred Olen Ray after the "success" of his cult flick "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers".

"Vamp" is basically just a retread with vampire hookers instead of chainsaw ones.

The hero is not a private eye in this one. He's a nerd with an irritating high pitched voice. What was the point of having him talk like that? As if we don't get right away that he's supposed to be a nerd.

Ray stalwart Michelle Bauer is in it.

The movie is nowhere near as fun as "Chainsaw Hookers". There is too much dialogue, none of which is entertaining or well written. In one scene, the nerd is in a hotel room and the maid shows up for service. He won't leave so that she can clean the room. She agrees to go away and come back. She does. He's still there. You can clean the room now, the nerd says. I'm on my break, says the maid. End of scene.

I'm not sure if the last part of that was supposed to be funny, or if I just expected some kind of a punchline to justify the inclusion of the maid in the story. That scene adds absolutely nothing to the movie.

Whereas no one is going to nominate him for an Oscar any time soon, Fred Olen Ray is nevertheless overrated in b-movie circles. Fans of cult cinema know his name, despite most of his movies being boring garbage. This one is no exception.