- Dr. Harry Weston: Laverne, I've just told a ten-year-old boy that he's become a woman!
- Laverne Higby Todd Kane: Then he'll probably be wanting a second opinion
- Dorothy Zbornak: How do you do. I'm Dorothy Zbornak.
- Laverne Higby Todd Kane: Geriatrics is two doors down on the left.
- Officer Barbara Weston: [cooking] Charley, don't you want to stay for dinner?
- Charley Dietz: I don't know, Barbara. It smells real bad.
- Officer Barbara Weston: Charley, why do you have beef jerky in your pocket?
- Charley Dietz: Maybe I'm just pleased to see you.
- Casey MacAfee: Oh dear, you mean that little guy in the blue baret who i gave my car keys to isn't a parking attendant?