Sha shou ying

Ninja In The Claws Of The CIA has nothing to do with ninjas. However, don't let that discourage you. Ninja In The Claws Of The CIA is a vehicle for John Liu. It's written, directed, produced and acted by John Liu. That means that this movie is all about John Liu. His character is also named John Liu that is a martial arts instructor that is a master of his own brand of martial arts. Once this special brand of martial arts and hypnosis is being used by the Russians, John Liu is recruited by the CIA to train soldiers in this martial art. The rest of the plot to the movie is convoluted as Hell. Probably because John Liu had a hard time wearing all these creative hats and didn't have enough money. The movie in style is a cross between old school kung fu flick and 80's Cannon action movie (except with a smaller budget than a Cannon flick). There is a whole lot of outrageous stuff happening and lots of action. In addition to kicking tons of ass, he gets a lot of it from the ladies too. Danny Lee (from The Killer) appears in the beginning of the movie and the fight scenes are top tier. This movie has a lot of flaws and looks really cheap. If you love 70's/early 80's Hong Kong and Taiwanese martial arts cinema and can't get enough of the Chuck Norris movies and love the shortlived Ninja craze in the early to mid 80's then this is the movie for you. It's got John Liu, and that means you are guaranteed some good kung fu.

John Liu apparently made some good money at the beginning of his career. He then seemed to blow it all on some self- produced, directed and starring films that enabled him to travel and have love scenes with white girls. Way to go, John! So when a movie is made for those reasons then how good can it be? The answer is – this bad.

The only thing that kept me watching this movie was trying to decide the worst part. It was a close tie for every part as the worst. The top three in my opinion are the simulated oral sex in the woods, that Roger Paschy looked prettier than some of the woman, and Casanova Wong. Casanova seems to "act" in every scene as if he was in a comedy. But why be critical? I will call it a tie for every scene as the worst scene.

In the spirit of the greatest possible generosity one might observe that this is very low-budget, and unquestionably made very quickly and cheaply to presumably turn a fast profit. In that same spirit of greatest possible generosity one might assume that at some point after shooting wrapped - whether in editing, recuts for international markets, dubbing, or any other number of ways after the fact - the original completed picture somehow got hopped into mincemeat, effectively destroying what it could have been under the best circumstances. However magnanimous one might be, however, nothing changes the fact that 'Made in China,' also known as 'Ninja in the claws of the CIA' is a godawful, unwatchable mess.

In fleeting, irregular spurts, some of the action sequences look okay. Nothing else about this movie comes off well. Pick your adjectives: weak, flailing, unconvincing, poor, inattentive, careless, tactless, blunt, sloppy, crude, hopeless, dubious, pointless, nonsensical, and more. Pick an element of the production: dialogue, characters, scene writing, narrative, plot development, dubbing, acting, direction, cinematography, transitions, sequencing, editing, continuity, consistency, stunts, choreography, costume design, hair, makeup, filming locations, production design, art direction, music, special effects, sound effects, sound design, sound editing, and more. Now mix and match your adjectives and film elements at random, and voila! - the story of 'Made in China.'

So you've come across this feature, and something has impelled you to make a note of it for later, or to watch on a whim. Most likely, you're just very curious, not least of all in light of the alternate titles. Well, let me lay to rest any notions that may have entered your mind in connection herewith: 'Made in China' is utter dreck, only ever ranging from "bad" to "appalling." There is no entertainment value here, not even if your intent is abject mockery. This is without a doubt one of the worst films ever made, completely worthless and irredeemable. Please do yourself a favor and avoid this.

This film is also known as "Ninja in the Claws of the CIA", though I think a better title would be "Bad Martial Arts Film With Even Worse Writing and Direction". It's simply a very incompetent martial arts film--the sort that is good for a laugh but not much else--and it never would be mistaken for a Shaw Brothers film! Early on, it's obvious that this is an incompetent film. The movie is badly dubbed and although it's supposed to be set in the USA, the folks didn't originally speak English. The punches and kicks are pretty funny, as the sound effects for them often occurs BEFORE or well AFTER the punch or kick is delivered (though some of the fighting is pretty good)! I also liked seeing US military guys with long hair--very long hair. The folks who made the movie simply didn't try very hard to make this one look realistic!

John Liu wrote, directed and starred in this mess. He plays a Vietnam vet who is forced to work for the CIA. It's actually pretty funny, as the acronym 'CIA' is thrown about all the time--so often that you can't help but laugh. "We at the CIA, want you to work for us, the CIA. The CIA needs you." It's also funny because you can't help but wonder why this organization needs to teach its members to use swords and other ancients weapons when a gun would suffice! The film naturally involves lots of fighting, double-crosses and women throwing themselves at Liu. Most of it isn't all that good and the worst part is the writing--which is pretty much what a talented lemur might do. Pretty dumb.

I saw this film and the only good bits were the kicking abilitities of John Liu, Casanova Wong, and Jose Maria Blanco. But the story, man, why did John do this to himself? He ain't the type to have love scenes, especially with two girls like the ones I saw. This should've been a way better flick for a 70's chop socky star like Liu.